Obsessed with someone?

zav943

Well-known member
Hey SPW,

Have you ever obsessed about someone so much that thoughts of that person occupied you almost all the time?

I've been fixated on someone for the better part of the last 8 months, thinking about her all the time...when I wake up, on my way to work, AT work, when I'm at the gym, jogging, at home, sitting on the internet, even on vacation.

I know it's unhealthy (which is why I deactivated my facebook account), but it's just the way my brain is wired now. I can't get her out of my head...

Every time I see her name on my cellphone or on my email, I am taken to another place...it's as if I can die happy...

I've given up on trying to overcome that obsession. All I can do now is just hope I get over her gradually or (less likely) maybe something may happen down the line....

Is anyone else going/has gone through this?
 

agoraphobickatie

Well-known member
i'm not in denial or anything, but i wouldn't say i'm exactly 'obsessed', haha... but there is this guy that i had(have?) a stupid crush on, lol.. see, he goes to my church and he's always been friends with my dad, so i know him through my dad.. (no, he's not as old as my dad! haha) ...anyway, he plays guitar sunday mornings and one day i was just kind of like 'hmm.. he's too cute!' ..so, we hadn't really talked before, i mean he'd been over to my house when my dad buys pay-per-view fights on tv and stuff, but i highly doubt he ever thought i'd be interested in him, ya know? anyway, i basically started talking to him and we did cutesy talk for a bit and he asked when we could hang out.. so he called me a few days later and we decided to hang out one weekend... well, before that weekend, he called me and totally shut me down! :( i know, right?! haha.. he said he didn't want things to be awkward because he knew my dad (okay, my dad wouldn't make things awkard at all, he likes that guy and wouldn't mind at all if we 'dated' or whatever.. so that was kind of BS), and he didn't want things to end wrong and hurt me and ruin any friendships blah blah blah... you better believe i informed him that not taking a chance because he's afraid something might go wrong is not the way to do things, and that he was making a huge mistake and was missing out :) i hammed it up and gave him a hard time and laughed, being my silly self, and all on the phone with him.. but now, i'm just like what the hell? i mean i was pretty excited for that guy to get to know me.. i've never been shut down like that before.. and i've never had anyone not think i was worth whatever they were afraid of, ya know? i don't know... so it's been like three weeks and i'm still bummed.. basically, i can't let this guy just shut me down like that, i have to have him, HAHA!

that was longer than i expected, sorry! haha.. seriously though, basically i'm saying yeah, i still think about this dude and i'm still trying to figure out how i'm going to win him over ;) eeehehe... however, i have no idea what to do yet.. and i guess i don't want him to be like "what the hell? leave me alone" lol, but whatever, it's worth a shot.. i've never stuck my neck out there like this before, and i guess i just don't take 'no' easily? ha... ay yi yi!
 
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UnOccupied

Well-known member
DUDE, your thinking about trying to get over this girl!? I dont know the full situation, but if your thinking about getting over her, you might as well give it a shot asking her out. I mean, if your thinking about trying to get over her, what better way then to get closure, but asking her out. She says yes, your a happy fella, NO, and that would suck, but you will get more satisfactions of that closure than just doing nothing about it. My opinion, take it as you will.
 

cricket

Active member
it's probably not as serious as you think. i think you just like her ::p:

ask her out. she will either say yes which is awesome, or she will say no. and if she says no, it will probably make it easier for you to get over her. :)
 
zav943: Yep, I have been exactly there too.
Long story but just like you and the cell phone (as you mentioned in your initial post)
every time I would take the phone out of my pocket,
buttons rubbed up against my pocket being caused to be pressed,
it would enter my phone book and her name would always get selected.
At the time I thought it was almost like some higher power
above was trying to tell me to call her.
Crazy huh.

So I know exactly what you are going through.

Do not let this get under your skin. You are probably just infatuated by her.
 
yeah but got over it quicly and i think i am right now.
how do you keep the feelings for 8 months, i guess you don't see her too often?
 

Damaged

Well-known member
Well, i was pretty obsessed with my ex boyfriend. After being with him for a month i developed agoraphobia and he stuck by me with another 11 months. So when we broke up, all i would do was think of him because i depended on him so much.

Now 3 months since the break up and i finally dont think of him. Sometimes i can go days without thinking of him. Which im happy about because he was a nasty so and so.
 
U

userremoved

Guest
Oh yeah...I've been there. It's a rather unpleasant feeling if it goes unfulfilled. I assume if it was fulfilled it would be that passion that new lovers experience. Sometimes though I wonder what it's like to be the one being obsessed over. Is it empowering or scary as hell?
 

Shy_Gurl2007

Well-known member
Oh yes, I've been through this for too long! I liked this one guy from my school for seven years, off and on. We started talking and he became one of my best friends. And then feelings started to developed, and that's where it got complicated. I feel in love with him, but he didn't feel the same at that time. When he would get a girlfriend, I would cry my heart out. It just hurt so much. It has been a game for us for all this time. Now that I have a boyfriend, he wants to confess his love for me all the time. He don't know how I would have loved to hear that a year ago! He's a sociopath, so it makes sense. I seriously thought I would NEVER get over him.
 

Mokkat

Well-known member
I've never been intimate with anyone, physically or emotionally. Never been able to connect with girls. I guess to cope for the loneliness I made a habbit of fantasizing about being together with special girls I liked, always obsessing over one for a long periods of time, usually before sleeping and when looking on pictures of them on facebook or such.

Since you are always "in control" and safe in your ongoing fantasy, reality can do nothing but disappoint you. Youll probably never be able to interact with the real version of the girl like you always imagined, and at the same time the thought of her distracts you from meeting other girls, especially strangers.

I kinda broke down in front of the last girl I obsessed about during a party where I was pretty drunk, after I learned she was having some superficial relationship with a guy I also know.
Im still a social phobic without a girlfriend or the prospect of one, but Ive learned my lesson to not shut everyone out with impossible fantasies, so I think I stand a better chance of meeting someone now
 
Yup, been there. Though, my story is rather embaressing, so you'll have to excuse me for not telling it. ;3

If she makes you feel that happy merely by thinking of her, I'd say try to approach her slowly. Who knows, it might turn into something great. You sound like a very affectionate person to me. :3
 

mrb

Well-known member
funny as it may seem i get a little obsessed with someone i think doesnt like me very much :confused: i look upon it as a challenge :) i think hmmmmm why dont they like me :mad: im not having that :eek: so over time i try by being funny to break them down ...make them see im a nice fella ... its works most of the time , i mean we all like to laugh dont we .....
 
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Tiercel

Well-known member
I've felt like that before, but I've never had anything worthwhile come from it. So I've withdrawn from the company of women to a large degree, as unhealthy of a solution as that is.

Not that I don't yearn for female companionship. But since I basically hide from the outside world I tend to develop impractical attachments to and feelings toward the women I do interact with. I try to walk a fine line of being friendly without being too friendly, and getting involved without getting too involved. Because I know that whoever she is, I'll probably end up caring too much about her and eventually scaring her off. And it's nothing against women, just nearly 20 years of practical experience.

So yeah, I try not to get too obsessed. Possibly flawed reasoning and an unhealthy withdrawal from the company of women based on said reasoning and an overwhelming fear of rejection. AvPD, anyone?

Although I've heard that madness is doing the same thing and expecting different results....

:rolleyes:
 
Yes, I get obsessed with people too. It's very akward and painful, especially when you realize you are doing it but are unable to stop it. I've used cognitive therapy to help me be aware of it, but I'm not able to stop the behavior, so I have to keep my distance from people most of the time.
 

zav943

Well-known member
DUDE, your thinking about trying to get over this girl!? I dont know the full situation, but if your thinking about getting over her, you might as well give it a shot asking her out. I mean, if your thinking about trying to get over her, what better way then to get closure, but asking her out. She says yes, your a happy fella, NO, and that would suck, but you will get more satisfactions of that closure than just doing nothing about it. My opinion, take it as you will.

I don't have the guts...

I've been rejected far too often, I have zero expectation of success...I can't afford to lose her...she's one of the only people who care about me
 

xLindziex

Well-known member
Since freshman year (I'm now a senior), I've had this crush on a guy. At first it was okay, because I figured it was harmless. But then he got a girlfriend and I was surprised at how jealous I was. I felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest even though I hardly said 5 words to him for the 6 months I had known him. I tried my best to get over him and it worked for the most part, but that wasn't until the middle of sophomore year. A year and a half long crush. So ridiculous. The only thing that made it easier to get over him was that I got to know him better and he was kind of a jerk, so I pushed him to the back of my mind and found someone else to obsess over. It didn't help that we had English class together every year, either. For yet, another year, I had a crush on another guy who actually showed something that could be interperted as an intrest towards me. He would compliment me and we'd talk at school, but not much outside of school. Then just recently this year, he either dropped out or moved because I haven't seen him in months.

So now I've taken to another girl's boyfriend who lives a street away from me. It's a never ending cycle, it seems!
 

zav943

Well-known member
Since freshman year (I'm now a senior), I've had this crush on a guy. At first it was okay, because I figured it was harmless. But then he got a girlfriend and I was surprised at how jealous I was. I felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest even though I hardly said 5 words to him for the 6 months I had known him. I tried my best to get over him and it worked for the most part, but that wasn't until the middle of sophomore year. A year and a half long crush. So ridiculous. The only thing that made it easier to get over him was that I got to know him better and he was kind of a jerk, so I pushed him to the back of my mind and found someone else to obsess over. It didn't help that we had English class together every year, either. For yet, another year, I had a crush on another guy who actually showed something that could be interperted as an intrest towards me. He would compliment me and we'd talk at school, but not much outside of school. Then just recently this year, he either dropped out or moved because I haven't seen him in months.

So now I've taken to another girl's boyfriend who lives a street away from me. It's a never ending cycle, it seems!

What's stopping you from approaching them?
 

Tuco

Well-known member
Hey SPW,

Have you ever obsessed about someone so much that thoughts of that person occupied you almost all the time?

I've been fixated on someone for the better part of the last 8 months, thinking about her all the time...when I wake up, on my way to work, AT work, when I'm at the gym, jogging, at home, sitting on the internet, even on vacation.

I know it's unhealthy (which is why I deactivated my facebook account), but it's just the way my brain is wired now. I can't get her out of my head...

I know exactly what you're talking about. The same thing is happening to me with a girl I met at work, and for the last three months I haven't been able to stop thinking about her. The problem is I don't think I am good enough for her or for anyone so I have been ignoring her even though all I want to do is talk to her, even knowing that she could never like someone like me. I haven't seen her in weeks, and I don't know which is more painful: not seeing her at all or seeing her and not being able to at least talk to her; but in the end, maybe it is better if I don't see her again, because that way I can forget about her more easily.
 

Wishmaster

Well-known member
I sometimes become overly attached to an online friend... I try not to let it happen, but it's hard... (I'm not talking about an intimate relationship, but a friendship. I'm actually a little surprised nobody else mentioned this in this thread.)
 
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