Ana
Active member
I seem to be getting worse and worse. Nothing makes me happy and I'm at the point now where I hate the sound of my family members voices. Is this normal, to hate people and things so much? I just feel like screaming and banging my head against the wall.
I've also hate thoughts of suicide before. Is this normal? Sometimes I just wish I could take a bunch of meds from the medicine cabinet and go to sleep. I wouldn't do it though because my grandma told me 'suicide is the cowards way out'.
I have this obsession with being perfect. Normal? I feel as if I NEED to be perfect at any extent. I want to be skinny, tall, smart, beautiful, successful; everything I'm not. I try everything to acheive this aswell, I once went on an ana (anarexic) site and tried one of their suggested diets to lose weight. I pretty much starved myself for a couple of days but gave up because I figured I was wasting my time.
I want so bad to get rid of this 'dying inside' feeling but I have no clue how. Will going to the doctors honestly help me? I'm terrifified he will say it's just teenage hormones. If he does I'll probably run out of there screaming!
I've also hate thoughts of suicide before. Is this normal? Sometimes I just wish I could take a bunch of meds from the medicine cabinet and go to sleep. I wouldn't do it though because my grandma told me 'suicide is the cowards way out'.
I have this obsession with being perfect. Normal? I feel as if I NEED to be perfect at any extent. I want to be skinny, tall, smart, beautiful, successful; everything I'm not. I try everything to acheive this aswell, I once went on an ana (anarexic) site and tried one of their suggested diets to lose weight. I pretty much starved myself for a couple of days but gave up because I figured I was wasting my time.
I want so bad to get rid of this 'dying inside' feeling but I have no clue how. Will going to the doctors honestly help me? I'm terrifified he will say it's just teenage hormones. If he does I'll probably run out of there screaming!
