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Old 02-08-2016
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Old 02-08-2016
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Yeah I do that as well...

Only, I don't want to pop your bubble, but I found, with time, that to facilitate the co-habitation with other human beings, well sometimes silence is better than saying something that could upset people.

It's not lying or being hypocrite, it's just that sometimes, saying out loud what's on your mind is just not helpful nor useful in any way, for anyone.

I have no idea who Larry David is, though.
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Old 02-08-2016
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Honesty is the LAST thing that most people want! People like them some fakeness!
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Old 02-08-2016
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I love silence. People who can listen and are honest and kind are rare.

I have anxiety about social situations because I say what's on my mind. I can't help it. I am getting to where I refuse to feel bad about it anymore though. That is progress.

I am a nice person and I am super sweet and kind. I feel offended when I am faced with hypocrisy and liars and fake humans. I have been shy and anxious around people for so long because I feel so strongly about these issues.

Everyone else says what's on their mind. Why can't I???
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Old 02-08-2016
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Quote:
Originally Posted by S_Spartan View Post
Honesty is the LAST thing that most people want! People like them some fakeness!

But at the same time they are so opinionated!

I am so happy I rarely deal with humans anymore!
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Old 02-08-2016
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AtTheGates View Post
I'm always real with people but in the past i too have had negative experiences with confronting people/calling them out on stuff because it seems most people can't handle that...so these days i usually refrain from being TOO real unless it NEEDS to be said.


but one thing i still won't/can't do is keep a straight face when someone is trying to Bullshit me....its funny when someone tries to feed me a line and they think I'm just going to stand there and take it.


its why iv had hard time keeping friends because I'm unwilling to play any fake little games that most people seem to put up with
I wish I could laugh at people more but I avoid them like the plague so I don't get to.

Kudos to you!
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Old 02-08-2016
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We're social animals, if you don't play their little social dance then it's such a turn off. That's my problem, I'm not necessarily like you where I'll say my mind when I please, but I'll rarely tell someone what they want to hear unless it's a particularly fragile scenario.

I refuse to play the game. Maybe it's because I'm not good at it or maybe it's because it's a bunch of arbitrary neanderthal bullshit.
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Old 02-08-2016
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I wouldn't say I lie, but I am very careful with my wording. Tact makes all the difference. My sister on the otherhand reminds me of yourself. Not a bad person, but her penchant for being too open about her thoughts often leads to a lot of trouble for her - she often feels persecuted, LOL! I tell her that you need to think through these things more carefully, and she will say but what I'm saying is right so what's the problem. That may or may not be the case at times. What I try to relay to her is that you have to handle people differently. There are people you can be very blunt with, and others only if you are in their inner-circle; most of the time it's a no-no.
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Old 02-08-2016
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MollyBeGood View Post
I love silence. People who can listen and are honest and kind are rare.

I have anxiety about social situations because I say what's on my mind. I can't help it. I am getting to where I refuse to feel bad about it anymore though. That is progress.

I am a nice person and I am super sweet and kind. I feel offended when I am faced with hypocrisy and liars and fake humans. I have been shy and anxious around people for so long because I feel so strongly about these issues.

Everyone else says what's on their mind. Why can't I???
People who can listen, who are honest and kind are rare because they are considerate. Being considerate - especially further West one goes - is less and less en vogue. As per the liars and hypocrisy, I can relate to that too: I deal with it on a daily basis. There are definitely times when you have to make a stand for something, but knowing when and where to do that makes all the difference. Thoughtful wording and a little tact can often makes the same message more relatable and palatable. Think about it, when you are being very blunt with someone, you are exposing something about them. Essentially you are putting them on the spot and they will feel vulnerable. If you watch good leaders, they make people feel comfortable around them by creating an environment where everyone can be honest without being humiliated. Look at sports, a perfect demonstration of this. It makes even the most demanding taskmasters able to push their group hard without inciting a mutiny. And you see the bond they all share, it brings them closer. There are so many nuances I could discuss on the subject, so I'll end it here. Just some thoughts.
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Old 02-08-2016
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In the end, people just want to feel good. They don't mind opinions as long as they are socially acceptable opinions. Like talking about Donald Trump or something like that. But they don't want to have to think about some esoteric topic because that makes their brain hurt and that is not happy!
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Old 02-08-2016
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It's transparent when I don't particularly like someone however I wouldn't be rude to them, I'd still be respectful, everyone deserves that.
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Old 02-08-2016
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Quote:
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Honesty is the LAST thing that most people want! People like them some fakeness!
For most people i find this to be very true.
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Old 02-08-2016
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Larry David says and does what he wants because he can. It's not like he could be fired from Seinfeld or Curb Your Enthusiasm. It's why Donald Trump is such a ****.

You should always be able to gauge what you can and can't say around people. You can still stand for what's right and show that you can't be pushed around, but don't let pride or overconfidence trump wisdom and common sense.
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Old 02-09-2016
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I am outspoken, I say what I think and it gets me in trouble. It causes pain, it keeps me alone, which is my preferred state of being. I notice that the critics just react with anger and indignance when I call them out. And the ugliness escalates. And in a small town being outspoken gets around.

I am open like that, because I am alone and I am determined to have a voice when the world throws it garbage at me. If I don't speak up for myself then no one else will.

I have also found sometimes you can say more by saying nothing at all, just walking away, is better for my health in the long run.
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Old 02-10-2016
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Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.
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Old 02-14-2016
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Quote:
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Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.
Is that a biblical quote
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Old 02-14-2016
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Sounds biblical and something no one lives by.
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Old 02-14-2016
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Quote:
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Is that a biblical quote
Ephesians 4:29. Good advice, but hard to follow.
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Old 02-14-2016
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Speak softly and carry a big stick
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Old 02-15-2016
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I have no problem with people being opinienated as long as thay are not intentionaly trying to be rude or offensive.

I myself am not very opinienated becouse I don't really see much point in it, people just ignore my opiniens anyway, and if thay don't ignore them thay get angey at me for expressing them.
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