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Old 4 Weeks Ago
 

"They are always the scary ones who commit crimes."

How does this common statement make you guys feel?
MollyBeGood is offline  
Old 4 Weeks Ago
Hot_Tamale's Avatar
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Sucks. My former boss used to make jokes at my expense about me coming to shoot the place up one day. Then wondering if I was an FBI agent and checking my backpack for a bomb because I brought it with me one day. Quietness scares some people away.
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MollyBeGood (4 Weeks Ago)
Old 4 Weeks Ago
 

I have been the target of things like that too from co-workers.

I was watching a live feed of a news story about a guy who did some pretty awful things to someone (I will spare you the details) and someone commented after it was said that he was "Quiet and Kept to himself" that "It is always the quiet ones".

Which made me feel really awful to be a quiet/keep to myself person. It's like if your not running your mouth off 24/7 you must be plotting horrible crimes in the eyes of everyone else.

annoying, unjust stereo-type imo
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Old 4 Weeks Ago
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meh...to be fair it wasn't just me he was a bit of a **** towards. I believe it affects women more positively than it does men. If a man is quiet and keeps to himself then he is a hermit crab and a loser/weak male. If a female is quiet and keeps to herself its not as unattractive, or so I was taught growing up in America.
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Old 4 Weeks Ago
 

What a pr!ck. That's an abusive boss who doesn't deserve to be in a any power position.

hmm..maybe..I think women are less likely to be deemed "menace to society" because of this trait, but I feel like it is not too far swayed either way to be a man or woman. I am considered attractive and I have gotten grief my whole life for being quiet. I am also polite which seems to really bother people, too. Ha whatever.
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Old 4 Weeks Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hot_Tamale View Post
meh...to be fair it wasn't just me he was a bit of a **** towards. I believe it affects women more positively than it does men. If a man is quiet and keeps to himself then he is a hermit crab and a loser/weak male. If a female is quiet and keeps to herself its not as unattractive, or so I was taught growing up in America.
Wow...the word "****" is censored automatically by this website. It's not a swear word. Hint: it starts with J and ends with K.

Lol, I'm sorry to veer the topic so far off course. My boss wasn't a complete mean person. He was nice too, he brought candy and donuts and free food sometimes. Lots of funny joking around too.
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Miserum (4 Weeks Ago)
Old 4 Weeks Ago
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hot_Tamale View Post
Wow...the word "****" is censored automatically by this website. It's not a swear word. Hint: it starts with J and ends with K.

Lol, I'm sorry to veer the topic so far off course. My boss wasn't a complete mean person. He was nice too, he brought candy and donuts and free food sometimes. Lots of funny joking around too.

No worries typical abuser, actually, though- Abuses you then feels bad and attempts to buy the victim off.

Ha yeah I might have fallen for it though with the free donuts. I am a sucker for sweets especially pastries...
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Old 4 Weeks Ago
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I've been called a serial killer, looney, paedophile, amongst many other things. One time i was coming out from under a building in town, and sby said have i got a body under there?!. I am pretty quiet, and keep to myself. But i guess i have a Resting Psycho Face at times.
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MollyBeGood (4 Weeks Ago)
Old 4 Weeks Ago
 

I am so sorry you had to experience that. It does leave scars. But you ALWAYS have to "Consider the source" in these situations and when you do... what you will see is sad, trashy, pathetic people who will say anything just for approval.

Ugh I hate people!
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Old 4 Weeks Ago
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No one has ever said this to me, though I've been called quiet.

The worst I've heard is "It's always the quiet ones," as a response to some calamitous plot event in movies or TV shows. Can't recall any real life instances.
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Old 4 Weeks Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hot_Tamale View Post
Wow...the word "****" is censored automatically by this website. It's not a swear word. Hint: it starts with J and ends with K.
Okay... is it... um... "Jmother****erk"?
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Old 4 Weeks Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MollyBeGood View Post
"They are always the scary ones who commit crimes."

How does this common statement make you guys feel?
It makes me feel like I've always got to defend and justify my quiet, introverted nature.

Well, I kinda feel like blame one of my cousin, actually. Since she once said to me: "Keep to yerself and you stay outta trouble"

But I can't say the jokes, accusations and assumptions don't hurt. Cuz, they do. Though, I've had my mistrust of people reinforced by my own family, whom I don't really like being around. So being a loner is probably for the best.

Plus, I've had racism to deal with as well. So... What worse, being called a loner and all the negative stereotypes that come with that word? Or having folk staring at ye as you walk down the street? Because look at that tall, brown bloke with that beard. Gotta be Middle-Eastern, surely? Because of that, I make the paranoid assumption of racial-profiling.

Guess that's what I get for enduring years of racism. Didnae help that my family thought it'd be a hoot to compare ma appearance to a rather infamous terrorist organisation, whenever my beard got to a certain length.

Sorry, didnae mean to bring that into it. I'd know, the assumptions ye get for being more quiet and reserved are a pain in the arse. Just I've got to deal with folk taking an instant dislike to me cuz o' how I look. Cannae win, really.
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Old 4 Weeks Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miserum View Post
Okay... is it... um... "Jmother****erk"?
Hahaha I believe I would have done my own censoring of a few letters in that case!
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Old 4 Weeks Ago
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About a year ago at my previous job, they had a class on what to do if someone were to come into the office shooting people. At one point the instructor advised to be cautious of any employee who exhibits a noticeable change in behavior. One example was an employee who was previously friendly but has become quiet and brooding. A few of my co-workers looked at each other and gave a little laugh. I felt they were referring to me because at that point, I had recently given up on trying to get along with them and had really begun to keep to myself even more than before. My only goal at that point had become to find another job and get away from them.

I was 95% sure they were thinking of me at that point but you know what? The only thought that really occurred to me was, "Good, let them be afraid". I really was done with them due to the way they had treated me in the past. I just wanted them to leave me alone and if thinking I was capable of a violent crime helped to accomplish that, I was all for it. When I finally found something else and they found out I was leaving, they went out of their way to be nicer to me but I remained silent. I hope they thought right up to my last day that I might do something to them. In reality, I would never resort to violence especially for those types. They wouldn't have been worth the consequences.
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Old 4 Weeks Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MollyBeGood View Post
I have been the target of things like that too from co-workers.

I was watching a live feed of a news story about a guy who did some pretty awful things to someone (I will spare you the details) and someone commented after it was said that he was "Quiet and Kept to himself" that "It is always the quiet ones".

Which made me feel really awful to be a quiet/keep to myself person. It's like if your not running your mouth off 24/7 you must be plotting horrible crimes in the eyes of everyone else.

annoying, unjust stereo-type imo
Sometimes that element of possible danger is the only thing that keeps them from bullying or otherwise harrassing quiet people. I no longer look at it as the ultimate in unfairness. It's still not right but can sometimes be useful.
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Old 4 Weeks Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by theslowesthand View Post
I've been called a serial killer, looney, paedophile, amongst many other things. One time i was coming out from under a building in town, and sby said have i got a body under there?!. I am pretty quiet, and keep to myself. But i guess i have a Resting Psycho Face at times.
When met with those types of questions of whether I'm involved in some kind of psychotic behavior, I usually say, "Yes" in response, with a serious look on my face and keep moving. At this point, they usually drop the curious facade and say something along the lines of, "C'mon, we know you're not crazy so stop pretending!"

That's how I turn the tables on them. If they know I'm not crazy then why are they asking?
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Old 4 Weeks Ago
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I think sane people react to those who are different with anger and suspicion. They judge first think later and latch onto stereotypes like the quiet loner. Label are easy for the uneducated and ignorant.
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MollyBeGood (4 Weeks Ago)
Old 4 Weeks Ago
 

That's not a bad idea for a strategy! @theoutsider
You could have fun punking people and put the videos on Youtube to show the world. Have fun with it
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Old 4 Weeks Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MollyBeGood View Post
That's not a bad idea for a strategy! @theoutsider
You could have fun punking people and put the videos on Youtube to show the world. Have fun with it
No way would I want to do that. LOL. For starters, it requires them saying something to me and not the other way around. All I do is agree with them. So, I don't think it would work as far as punking anyone. Besides, it's actually not a fun situation for me, it's just a way to cope I suppose.
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Old 4 Weeks Ago
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This quote has always been something that got deep under my skin. To be honest, it's possibly one of the most frustrating things to hear when you're an introvert. Quotes like this don't help someone to improve their strengths. Instead, it's being used to devalue someone who is different from everyone else. Believe me though, I try to let these things go and ignore it, but I'm really getting tired of this "introvert shaming". I wish society could see that we're human beings too and that we do have feelings. :/
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