my story

flerb22

Member
hi - this is one of my first posts on these forums, so i thought id tell my story:

I have had a really tough year so far, the girl who i was crazy about dumped me, a friend of mine committed suicide, im under a hideous amount of stress for my exams, and i feel so lonely. I feel like I have no-one to talk to, even though I have plenty of friends (I dont think they know how I feel, I'm quite good at covering it all up). At one point I took a week off in my course in university with what I said was "a virus" - in reality I couldnt face going in. I went home for that week, and I felt a bit better, but after heading back i have sank back in to negativity.

I live by myself in a city 200 miles away from my family, and on the other side of town to my friends; with the demands of my university course I rarely get the chance to see them.

I used to be quite outgoing and enjoyed hitting the town with my mates, but now any time there is a night out or a party, I make excuses and stay at home or leave early. I feel really awkward talking to people, and this is positively reinforced: i think im not going to have anything to say, so i dont.

I am already trying to resolve these issues but I'm finding it really difficult to keep going in the mean time. I feel like the joy has been ripped out of me and that theres nothing I can do about it, I feel suicidal and every time i see a bus go past I feel like I've missed another opportunity to just end it. I am having trouble sleeping and am exhausted all the time, and all of this together means that I am finding it difficult studying for my exams which are in 3 weeks time, which I need to pass to stay in my course - making me even more stressed out.

Im such a mess inside my head and no-one has a clue.
 

x000x

Well-known member
I am not very good at helping people with there problems, but there are a lot of people on this site who are good at helping people and I'm sure they will be able to help you out.

As for your university course... what course are you taking? I'm in my senior year of high school and I'll being going to college in the fall.
 

Noca

Banned
Since you call it "university" i assume your Canadian. Try calling kidshelpphone at 1-800-668-6868, they are really good free counselors that you can talk to 24/7 365.
 
Sounds like your exams are the crux of the problem. Not that everything else doesn't matter, but try to focus on what you can most easily do something about. Do you study at your dorm? Maybe go to the library. When I'm about to burn out and can't make myself study I sometimes pack up and literally drive out to a state park about an hour from town and find a nice shady tree to study under for the day (skipping class is optional). There are no immediate distractions and it feels like I've left my depression and loneliness back in town (even though I'm technically more alone). Feeling like I'm getting away from everything works wonders for me, and if I feel like I've done something tangible like kick ass on a test it makes my other problems seem a little less threatening, like I stand a chance in this world.

Eh, that's just my input. I like being outdoors and being alone so that's my miracle cure. May not be ideal for you.
 

flerb22

Member
im a medical student, and missing classes isnt on the agenda - im just gonna have to try and brute force these exams and push myself through it.
 

flerb22

Member
just thought id let anyone who is interested know

im feeling alot better in the last week or so - iv been keeping very very busy and havent had the time to think about anything else, which has helped alot.
 
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