my girlfriend broke up with me yesterday, I'm devstated

SickerJoke

Member
It seems like things started to go wrong after dinner with her parents. Maybe her parents didn't approve of the relationship, maybe they thought you weren't right for her. Maybe she wasn't completely happy with the relationship and then her parents' input, on top of that, made her decide to end it. That's a lot of "maybes;" it's hard to say what the reason is for sure.

What you can do is learn from the experience, remember the good times you had together, and move on. It's tough, some grieving is definitely expected, but pick yourself up again as soon as you can, and start meeting other women. The sooner the better. Stay strong and keep us posted.
 

Remus

Moderator
Staff member
I dont think any of us could say what to do as we arn't mind readers and nor are you, she has reasons and if she is private about them leave it at that and move on.

Usually when somone loves you and there are problems they will complain, maybe it was too early with her, I'd get over this and get on that site again like she suggested.
 

miss_amy

Well-known member
Aww..

I think you are doing far too much analysing. You need to accept her decision and just work on moving forward.
 

Patrick123

Well-known member
You need to accept her decision and just work on moving forward.

Fuck that shit.

Here's what you need to do:

1. Keep the key to her house. This is going to be the most significant tool for getting your girlfriend back.

2. Do your homework. She's obviously hiding something from you, so figure it out. Whether she's met someone else or is simply not interested in a relationship with anyone, you need to understand her rationale for breaking up with you. If there's another man in the picture, take him out. If the breakup is truly the cause of her non-commital disposition, fix her -despite what the law says, all types of abuse are fair procedure in the fight for love.

3. Merge your assets. Once you've regained some leverage in the relationship, move all of your possessions into her house and mix them with her things. Open a joint bank account and apply for lines of credit using a composite of your guys' assets. This way, even the idea of breaking up with you again will seem too overwhelming.

4. Location, Location, Location. Location is key. You need to move her away from all foreign influences (i.e. persuasions that are not your own). Buy two plane tickets to Venezuela and tell her 'Baby, I've got two tickets to paradise, pack your bags, we'll leave tonight, and we won't be comin' back.' This step establishes the finality of your relationship status. By now, she should know that you ARE her future.

*Venezuela is a perfect location as the the government does not have a friendly extradition relationship with the U.S. This guards you against the consequences of becoming a criminal, which you have, in fact, become by completing these steps.

Remember, if you want something, you have to fight for it!! Love is worth fighting for...
 

SickerJoke

Member
bulldog21083 said:
SickerJoke said:
It seems like things started to go wrong after dinner with her parents. Maybe her parents didn't approve of the relationship, maybe they thought you weren't right for her. Maybe she wasn't completely happy with the relationship and then her parents' input, on top of that, made her decide to end it. That's a lot of "maybes;" it's hard to say what the reason is for sure.

What you can do is learn from the experience, remember the good times you had together, and move on. It's tough, some grieving is definitely expected, but pick yourself up again as soon as you can, and start meeting other women. The sooner the better. Stay strong and keep us posted.

I suppose that's possible, but she always told me her parents really liked me. And it's not like I didn't talk to them at all.


I'm trying to move on, but so far it's been tough cause almost everything reminds me of her. I watch tv by myself, and I miss watching it with her. Work is tougher now too cause we used to e-mail each other so much. I told her I'd like to stay friends with her and she seems to be open to that. I'm just a little concerned about her as well and I don't want to totally abandon her. And who knows if it really was her and not me, maybe she'll get straightened out 6 months from now and then be ready to date again. I'd really like to remain friends with her and keep in touch. I'm just concerned that if we did that and next time we meet up it would just be kind of awkward cause we wouldn't be bf/gf.

It's only natural to feel like shit after ending a serious relationship, especially with 5 months under your belt and plans extending a year and a half into the future.

Staying friends might be okay long as you don't have an ulterior motive. I can tell you're really attached to this girl because you're willing to wait 6 months for her to be ready to date again. Think about that, that's 6 months of your life wasted on a woman who has lost interest in you. She has issues that she needs to deal with on her own. The best way to get over this is to meet other women, and forget about the possibility of ever getting back together with her. The sooner you can move on the better!
 

SickerJoke

Member
Patrick123 said:
...insanity...creepy stalker advice...blah blah blah...

Haha, that was a good laugh. You should have your own talk show: "Dr. Patrick - advice on how to ruin your life!"
 

Patrick123

Well-known member
Why not put a hidden camera in her house while you're at it.

That's also an option. It's important to remember that YOU hold the keys to your heart. You have simply got to be assertive!!!
 

danisky

Active member
Patrick123 said:
4. Location, Location, Location. Location is key. You need to move her away from all foreign influences (i.e. persuasions that are not your own). Buy two plane tickets to Venezuela and tell her 'Baby, I've got two tickets to paradise, pack your bags, we'll leave tonight, and we won't be comin' back.' This step establishes the finality of your relationship status. By now, she should know that you ARE her future.

*Venezuela is a perfect location as the the government does not have a friendly extradition relationship with the U.S. This guards you against the consequences of becoming a criminal, which you have, in fact, become by completing these steps.

Venezuela would be paradise for two days and then it would be hell. (I should know that, being venezuelan and all...our president is crazy, stay away!!)
 

Havocan

Well-known member
She pretty much told you why she broke up with you but didn't give you the specific reasons. Seems like she's made a decision and you should not at all try to get her back by e-mailing her, giving her gifts or in any way stalk her, then she'll only get scared and see you as a psychopath. Sorry to say it, but it's a lost battle, you'll just have to get over it. She told you she wasn't that girl for you and that's actually a good enough reason - she doesn't harmonise with you in "that" way.

The reason why she was going so much back and forth {having sex with you, take you to her parents for dinner etc.} is probably because she was confused and didn't exactly know how to end it. She realised it was best to do it in written form instead of telling you face to face.

It's always hard to deal with breakups as a person with SA, I've had to cope with it too. I got dumped by my ex via a text message without no specific reason, I just didn't reply to it at all and tried to forget all about her. And you should too. Thought it's difficult to do, try to go out more and socialise, perhaps go on some dates and you'll never know what pops up in your surroundings^^.
 

Patrick123

Well-known member
She pretty much told you why she broke up with you but didn't give you the specific reasons. Seems like she's made a decision and you should not at all try to get her back by e-mailing her, giving her gifts or in any way stalk her, then she'll only get scared and see you as a psychopath. Sorry to say it, but it's a lost battle, you'll just have to get over it. She told you she wasn't that girl for you and that's actually a good enough reason - she doesn't harmonise with you in "that" way.

Someone's a defeatist. I try not to offer supposition too often, but something tells me that you are either French or Polish...

Anyway...

Don't listen to Havocan's advice, man. Bottom line: you need to keep fucking. You should do everything in your power to maintain your possessions -love and your woman. A man has a right to his possessions.
 

DaaaBulls

Well-known member
Hey man,

First off I'm sorry for your loss. Having never been in a long relationship I really wouldn't know what it feels like, but knowing how I feel when I get attached to someone (a friend) and then all of a sudden losing that friend for no reason it is really hard. I can imagine that losing a girlfriend is especially hard. My advice would be to realize that your going to feel hurt for awhile, maybe a month, maybe more. But I guarantee you that when you meet the next girl and you guys just click then those feelings will go away instantly. Just keep hope, I would let this one go and try not to pry any deeper because it seems like she just figured some stuff out and realized that you guys just weren't meant to be. It's good to find out now rather than a few years down the road, that would be even more devastating. Keep looking and like I said the cure for feeling like this is to find some one else, I know it's a cliche but it is really true, there are a ton of fish in the sea. It sounds stupid but there are so many girls out there bro that you will find someone. Good Luck
 

getbornagain

Well-known member
I know it will be difficult for you to move forward, but the only way to pick up the pieces is to look at the positive side of things. You should be happy you got to experience a solid long relationship like that, and it'll probably be easier for you to start a new relationship now that you've had that experience. I've never had a relationship anywhere close to that and would definitely be willing to deal with the pain of heartbreak rather than never having anything at all. Remember the old saying it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all....
 

j_brown2

Banned
from the last email from the girl the idea i get is this.

she is a nice girl and doesnt want to hurt you.
she doesnt go to much into details about why the break up
but she goes into detail on 2 occasions

1. that you were shy, personality differences, incompatible with her
2. that she wasnt ready to date

to me it seems like this, its just my opinion and my experience with people who are nice. they often dont tell you the truth to not hurt you

i think that she wasnt ready to date again is bullshit

and the fact that she goes a bit into detail about your shyness, and talks about being incompatible means she thought you 2 are not meant to be together.

she tried to explain it to you in a nice non hurtful way like all nice people do, and blamed it on herself for the breakup - not being ready to date again is the cover up,


it could be just me, but i believe she gave you a sign with when she started talking about your incompatibility and shyness, and kept on talking about wishing you finding yourself a perfect girl soon that will be on the same page with you

thats what nice people do. they dont tell the truth in order to not hurt you. the fact that she couldnt break up with you in person shows she is weak and doesnt want to hurt you, so her reason might not be believable

if she would break up in person with you and tell you that stuff into the face and look you in the eye it would be more believable.

to sum it up, if a girl would tell me this in an email the way she did, i would take that as a "she thought we are not the perfect match, not meant to be together"

its just my opinion though, i just can see through weak people, and that girl is weak no doubt. no doubt she wouldnt be able to tell you in the face she thought you 2 dont match, she wouldnt have the balls to do it,

my advice dont think you will get her back in 6 months, and waist your time waiting on her to be ready

she didnt even want to hear about "working your issues out".

its over

cant imagine how hard that must be going through a break up, iam in pain when i see a hot girl and know i cant talk to her cause of my SA.
 
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