Moral Dilemma

Have you ever seriously considered plastic surgery to change something about your appearance?

I have a hard time accepting a certain feature of my face - my nose. At times I can feel okay with it and that maybe it's not as bad as I think. But when I look at it, it really is. Especially from profile view. And so it's like I build up this falseness of being okay with it if I just don't look at myself. But at the same time I think about going through with rhinoplasty and I don't know if I could actually do it. I don't want to be the type of person that has to go to that kind of measure to change myself. Immediately if someone knows that you've had plastic surgery they'd probably label you as vain and superficial. This is not how I really think I am or how I want to be made out to be. If I were to get the procedure, I'd only just make the angle of my nose a bit smaller. I don't want to have an entirely different nose. I just want it to be a bit easier to look at. I actually like a bit more angular noses, but mine is just too much. Another factor is that noses keep on growing. They don't ever stop growing. I know that's it's a very slow process, but still. If my nose is already at this size when I'm young, then it's just going to get bigger too.

I just want to know what you all think on this topic. Thanks : )

People are always going to have problems with how they look. For example I wish I had bigger boobs, abs and more muscle. But I dont wanna go to drastic measures to change it.

If the feeling of wanting to get surgery increases then do it, if it makes YOU feel better in the end then that's what matters. But other times you just have to live with what you have and maybe someday you might start to appreciate it.

Beatrice Domino said:

But other times you just have to live with what you have and maybe someday you might start to appreciate it.

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I agree

Well, I don't know much about plastic surgery, but I've thought about it and completly cut that option out. There's a few things in my face I don't like, but, in the end, I always say to myself "it doesnt matter, this is how I was born, I'm going to keep it that way, It's the real me".

I'm all against plastic surgery (apart from certain situations).

btw: you look quite good in your photos

Beatrice Domino said:

People are always going to have problems with how they look. For example I wish I had bigger boobs, abs and more muscle. But I dont wanna go to drastic measures to change it.

If the feeling of wanting to get surgery increases then do it, if it makes YOU feel better in the end then that's what matters. But other times you just have to live with what you have and maybe someday you might start to appreciate it.

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Thanks for the reply! I've had problems with my body in the past, but at this point it doesn't really bother me because I know that that kind of thing can be changed by exercising or eating healthier. That being said, that too, can only do so much because sometimes it still just comes down to how your body is made. Some people will never be muscular. I also think that I read somewhere that for a woman to have abs she has to be like 15% body fat which, all in all, isn't healthy for a woman's body. I hope I'm not being rude with this reply to you. I feel like I am for some reason. It's not intended! I just sort of think that body is a bit different than a face. A pretty face, is a pretty face. People look at your face for a first impression, I think.

shore_of_glass said:

I agree

Well, I don't know much about plastic surgery, but I've thought about it and completly cut that option out. There's a few things in my face I don't like, but, in the end, I always say to myself "it doesnt matter, this is how I was born, I'm going to keep it that way, It's the real me".

I'm all against plastic surgery (apart from certain situations).

btw: you look quite good in your photos

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I really don't want to seriously think about plastic surgery as what I should do. But I get in certain phases where I get very frustrated by feeling okay and then suddenly feeling terrible about myself because of my nose. To a certain extent it definitely negatively effects my quality of life. Before I make any final decision I'm going to try and work on my own thinking because I realize it's a bit warped. Oh, and thank you for saying so, btw btw



Also, just as a disclaimer: I feel kind of like a jack ass for posting something so superficial. Because of how I feel about myself and my own appearance/nose has nothing to with how I judge other people in the same way. Maybe that doesn't make sense, but I really don't judge other people in the same way I judge myself.

I've considered getting a rhinoplasty too and also some kind of procedure to make my face look less long (I don't even know if something for that exists). But, yeah sometimes I really want to get plastic surgery and other times I'm like no that's crazy, what if I end up looking way worse afterward? I also think I would be ashamed of myself for being so vain, even though my appearance is something I really want to change.

lunarla said:

Thanks for the reply! I've had problems with my body in the past, but at this point it doesn't really bother me because I know that that kind of thing can be changed by exercising or eating healthier. That being said, that too, can only do so much because sometimes it still just comes down to how your body is made. Some people will never be muscular. I also think that I read somewhere that for a woman to have abs she has to be like 15% body fat which, all in all, isn't healthy for a woman's body. I hope I'm not being rude with this reply to you. I feel like I am for some reason. It's not intended! I just sort of think that body is a bit different than a face. A pretty face, is a pretty face. People look at your face for a first impression, I think.

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No worries, I was just throwing in my two cents.

Beatrice Domino said:

No worries, I was just throwing in my two cents.

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And thank you for doing so!

Dub16 said:

To the original poster, I've no idea what you look like or whats going on in your life but i'd advise against it (in my humble opinion). Nobody is ever 100% happy with the way they look, and if you get one piece of surgery done then you're likely to get another and another. You'd be far better off concentrating on enjoying your life, and maybe spend the money on a trip abroad. Focus on enjoying yourself and don't worry so much about what people think of your appearance.

Its a slippery slope once you start defining yourself by your appearance. You should get out there and enjoy your life instead. (imho)

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I don't think I'd get more than one procedure done. I reaaaally doubt it, seeing as I don't feel right about plastic surgery as is. I'm not going to become the cat lady. (She doesn't resemble a cat at all!!! Cats, being cute and cuddly) Thank you for your concern though. I also really don't think I want to change my appearance for other people. But maybe I'm just in denial. I mean, people aren't really my thing anyway. I think it's more about me being more comfortable with myself. Thank you though, I appreciate it.

Oh, and by the way, I, too, think TheWall is stunning!

Plastics

I haven't just considered doing it, I've already planned it. Stupid yes indeed, but I don't know. I just don't want to go in expecting anything better, or it to change anything. For some reason I can never see the logic behind other people considerring plastic surgery, and only see my nonsense reasons behind mine. If you really aren't sure about it or are doubting it, I think that you really need to make a definite decision before you do something really drastic like that.

I just know at the very least I /probably/ won't regret it, but will still think I'm a hideous piece of whatevers. I think I want the same as a lot of people, rhinoplasty. Then I wouldn't have to get specially ordered glasses to fit my widee nose. Also maybe I could look more like my dad who had plastic surgery for the exact same reason....

Dub16 said:

If you arent doing it for other people and you are only doing this to become "more comfortable with yourself" then you should be asking yourself if theres something else that needs changing, not your appearance.

I genuinely dont mean that in a bad way. Just at least consider the possibility that this artificial procedure may not achieve anything and that maybe you might be better off doing something that will uplift you mentally.

I know I'm just a stranger on an internet forum, and you mightnt listen to me, but I'm just trying to help. I hope you make a decision that you're proud of in years to come, and best of luck to you whatever you decide.

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I have been asking myself that for a while. And I will continue to until I find an answer and try to figure things out. At this point I doubt I'd be proud with a decision to get plastic surgery, so that's definitely no where near a definite choice.

I think surgery is a personal option, and if you think it's the best option, then go for it.

But before you go under the knife, I'd really suggest exhausting your professional therapy options first. These are generally:

- CBT
- EMDR (something I'm going to try this week)
- Hypnotherapy

You may have heard of these options in self-help books and scoffed at them (no worry, I did too), but they're completely different when done under the supervision of a trained professional. Trust me! I wasn't exactly a big believer of CBT (and I'm still unsure of it's long-term viability), but it was definitely more interesting when I was doing it under a psychiatrist. If nothing else, I learned more about myself as opposed to the snoozing I was doing while reading a self-help CBT book.

In any case though, even if you do get your surgery done, you'll want to have some kind of psychological foundation to fall back on when you bump into another appearance crisis. Because there will be another. Guaranteed. That's just how life rolls. You'll always be struggling in some way or another so you owe it to yourself to explore a few psychological strategies to combat them. Because like you said, you can't just have a surgery every time you're unsatisfied with an appearance problem. And plus, these psychological strategies are a fraction of any surgery.

Anyway, good luck

u can always see a psychologist in the plastic seargents office... he will see if u r doing it for the right reasons.. but I think u should;t do it. SAers tend to imagine a lot of stuff that aren't.. and having the nose job won;t make u get rid of ur SA .. therapy will good luck!

I have never considered plastic surgery, my nose is screwed but it's just the shape of the bone and it cannot be repaired . Even if it could, I wouldn't do it, it doesn't bother me that much. I have only considered permanent make up but the desire is somehow as weak as my desire to spend money for it plus I am afraid what if I don't like it.

I wouldn't recommend plastic surgery to anyone, but if it will make you happy.. I think it wouldn't make happy me if I was prettier, what's the point being pretty if you feel depressed and physically miserable in your body. I think at least going on diet or leading healthy lifestyle might help you feel better about yourself. And of course being happy but thats maybe destined only to some lucky people with lucky genes.

Aw, I understand that. Just make sure that it doesn't turn into body dysmorphic disorder.