Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 12-16-2010
Newbie User
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3
Thanked 0 Times
tofutti tofutti is offline
Newbie User
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3
Thanked 0 Times
hello world hello world hello world hello world

Last edited by tofutti; 01-02-2017 at 04:32 PM.
tofutti is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-16-2010
MsBuzzkillington's Avatar
Expert User
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 673
Thanked 0 Times
MsBuzzkillington MsBuzzkillington is offline
Expert User
MsBuzzkillington's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 673
Thanked 0 Times
I can completely relate to this.

I have met people in the past from online. I can barely talk, because I just "KNOW" that everyone around me knows that we are on a first "date", meeting for the first time. I feel like they are all listening in and judging how well it's going, or not going. Judging if I say something stupid, or judging if he likes me or not, or if he is some how making fun of me.

Lots of anxious thoughts. It's difficult to talk to someone you first meet, in a public place.

Maybe you can try a park? Not sure how cold it is where you are. There are enough people so it is public, but then not enough to be surrounded by them.
MsBuzzkillington is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-16-2010
Kat's Avatar
Kat Kat is offline
Elite User
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Friend or Foe
Posts: 1,077
Thanked 0 Times
Kat Kat is offline
Elite User
Kat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Friend or Foe
Posts: 1,077
Thanked 0 Times
If you havenít done it already, it may be good to talk to him on the phone for a little while then maybe he can get a better idea about you and he may realize youíre not overly confident and if he is still ok with it.

You could maybe chose an activity that may take the attention off you a little - like go see a movie.
Kat is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-16-2010
Advanced User
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 333
Thanked 0 Times
Darryl Darryl is offline
Advanced User
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 333
Thanked 0 Times
Sounds like it's still too early for you to meet as a one on one.

What about a group meeting with people from your forum get together.
__________________
Diagnosed: AvPD

I've got bruises on my memory
I've got tear stains on my hands
And in the mirror there's a vision
Of what used to be a man
Darryl is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-16-2010
Advanced User
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 333
Thanked 0 Times
Darryl Darryl is offline
Advanced User
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 333
Thanked 0 Times
I don't think it's wrong to meet him at a pub with your friends.
You'll have music to listen to as a ice breaker and the safety of friends.
__________________
Diagnosed: AvPD

I've got bruises on my memory
I've got tear stains on my hands
And in the mirror there's a vision
Of what used to be a man
Darryl is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-16-2010
fitftw's Avatar
Elite User
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,386
Thanked 0 Times
fitftw fitftw is offline
Elite User
fitftw's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,386
Thanked 0 Times
I've known two guys online for over 10 years now, longer than I've known anyone outside my family.

I'll most likely never meet them in real life. One even lives 20 minutes away, and has lived that far away for the whole 10 years.

It would simply be way too awkward.
__________________
Facebook

"Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness in other people"
fitftw is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-16-2010
NathanielWingatePeaslee's Avatar
Super Moderator
Elite User
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Cygnus X-1
Posts: 4,025
Thanked 136 Times
NathanielWingatePeaslee NathanielWingatePeaslee is offline
Super Moderator
Elite User
NathanielWingatePeaslee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Cygnus X-1
Posts: 4,025
Thanked 136 Times
For me, if someone isn't a close enough friend that I could tell them I have a defective brain and may freeze up, blush, stutter or otherwise behave strangely upon meeting in real life: then they aren't close enough that I want to meet them in real life.
NathanielWingatePeaslee is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-17-2010
Banned
Intermediate User
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: where I can see a chemical swirl . . .
Posts: 170
Thanked 0 Times
UnofficiallyMe UnofficiallyMe is offline
Banned
Intermediate User
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: where I can see a chemical swirl . . .
Posts: 170
Thanked 0 Times
i met my wife online!

we are happy together.
do be careful though

this was before i was too crippled by SA and it was awkward
but i would not trade it for anything

just gotta do what is right for you..
just be safe.. cant say that enough
tell someone where you are going and the address and time
have someone call you at a prearranged time to make sure you are safe
and get a picture if you can!

hope that rambling helps!
UnofficiallyMe is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-17-2010
Banned
Newbie User
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 22
Thanked 0 Times
lifeasitcouldbe lifeasitcouldbe is offline
Banned
Newbie User
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 22
Thanked 0 Times
Yeah, I've met a couple of my online friends in real life. It was awkward. Never did it again.
lifeasitcouldbe is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-17-2010
Unrequited's Avatar
Newbie User
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 9
Thanked 0 Times
Unrequited Unrequited is offline
Newbie User
Unrequited's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 9
Thanked 0 Times
I can relate, too.

I only really have one friend and I met her on this forum. We've been close for over a year now but she lives thousands of miles away so we've never met in person. I want to go over and see her more than anything but I'm absolutely terrified! She of course has SA too so we would both be feeling the same way, which is maybe a small comfort, but on the other hand conversation might be very hard for us both (I, for one, have no social skills).

I think an ideal situation would be to arrange something where conversation isn't the primary focus. A movie is a good idea, but personally, for me, something quiet and less crowded would be even better. I haven't actually come up with many ideas... only that it would be a lot easier if there was some sort of activity/thing to focus on 'doing' other than just making conversation.

In my situation though it may not matter any more because I think she's lost interest in me recently, which is why I joined back up on here; somewhere to vent my grief maybe.
Unrequited is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-17-2010
Elite User
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: genpop
Posts: 3,748
Thanked 344 Times
MollyBeGood MollyBeGood is offline
Elite User
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: genpop
Posts: 3,748
Thanked 344 Times
Quote:
Originally Posted by NathanielWingatePeaslee View Post
For me, if someone isn't a close enough friend that I could tell them I have a defective brain and may freeze up, blush, stutter or otherwise behave strangely upon meeting in real life: then they aren't close enough that I want to meet them in real life.

this is so true, said perfectly.
MollyBeGood is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-17-2010
Sial Axetder's Avatar
Amazing curves!
Elite User
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Great North of Southern Ontario Canada
Posts: 3,027
Thanked 5 Times
Sial Axetder Sial Axetder is offline
Amazing curves!
Elite User
Sial Axetder's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Great North of Southern Ontario Canada
Posts: 3,027
Thanked 5 Times
Quote:
Originally Posted by NathanielWingatePeaslee View Post
For me, if someone isn't a close enough friend that I could tell them I have a defective brain and may freeze up, blush, stutter or otherwise behave strangely upon meeting in real life: then they aren't close enough that I want to meet them in real life.
|`````````````|
|Well said.|
|`````````````````|
Sial Axetder is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-17-2010
AsTimeBurns's Avatar
Expert User
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: England
Posts: 596
Thanked 0 Times
AsTimeBurns AsTimeBurns is offline
Expert User
AsTimeBurns's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: England
Posts: 596
Thanked 0 Times
Never met anyone from online in real life. To be hoenst I've never really made any friends online either XD I have plenty of aquaintances, because I join a lot of forums, but never really seem to actually become particularly friendly with them (Eg: To the point that we'd exchange MSN or something to chat away from that website).

It would probably be quite weird meeting someone from online though, especially if you've known them a long time, you will have built up a mental picture of them over time and it's almost certianly going to be inaccurate.
AsTimeBurns is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-18-2010
Bustn Justin's Avatar
Advanced User
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 408
Thanked 0 Times
Bustn Justin Bustn Justin is offline
Advanced User
Bustn Justin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 408
Thanked 0 Times
I would like to meet a few peeps I met online , but I am far away rfom all of them so financially its not doable.
Bustn Justin is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-18-2010
Newbie User
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: New York City
Posts: 18
Thanked 0 Times
bluepixel bluepixel is offline
Newbie User
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: New York City
Posts: 18
Thanked 0 Times
I've met quite a few people online, even people I didn't know well at all. Awkward moments, yes, but it's never gone bad. I never talked on the phone beforehand, for me that's worse than face-to-face conversation.

I don't get too nervous anymore, but the first few times I was. I would stay in bed all day, then when it was time to get ready I would have to psych myself up for it.

Meeting at coffee houses has always worked well for me.

If you want to avoid onlookers try finding a place with a booth (cafe, diner, etc.) and meetup at a time when the place isn't busy, you should be able to grab a secluded spot in a corner.
bluepixel is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-18-2010
doubleM's Avatar
Advanced User
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: usa
Posts: 301
Thanked 0 Times
doubleM doubleM is offline
Advanced User
doubleM's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: usa
Posts: 301
Thanked 0 Times
ive done it before, met my friend and her fiance. it was a little awkward but went good and we had a few laughs. i showed up armed tho....lol just in case.
it was funny becuz we went hiking in the woods and we got lost. i asked them if this was their plan to bring me out in the woods and kill me. they laughed and said no. eventually we made it back.
doubleM is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-18-2010
Untamed88's Avatar
Intermediate User
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: England
Posts: 131
Thanked 0 Times
Untamed88 Untamed88 is offline
Intermediate User
Untamed88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: England
Posts: 131
Thanked 0 Times
Be careful when you meet up with internet friends. When I was fifteen I made friends with a girl on the IMDB message boards and we agreed to meet. I wouldn't normally meet people but I had no friends in school and was getting bullied and I just really wanted a friend.
When the day came a big fat man with black hair pulled up and said he was her dad and stupidly I got in the car and then he started to talk about wine and candles. Fortunately for me he stopped at Sainsburys to get the wine and I quickly got out when he was in there and ran off.

He could have really been her dad and I made a complete idiot out of myself but it freaked me out.
Untamed88 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-18-2010
Elite User
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,089
Thanked 0 Times
Rembrandt Broam Rembrandt Broam is offline
Elite User
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,089
Thanked 0 Times
Quote:
Originally Posted by Untamed88 View Post
Be careful when you meet up with internet friends. When I was fifteen I made friends with a girl on the IMDB message boards and we agreed to meet. I wouldn't normally meet people but I had no friends in school and was getting bullied and I just really wanted a friend.
When the day came a big fat man with black hair pulled up and said he was her dad and stupidly I got in the car and then he started to talk about wine and candles. Fortunately for me he stopped at Sainsburys to get the wine and I quickly got out when he was in there and ran off.

He could have really been her dad and I made a complete idiot out of myself but it freaked me out.


It doesn't sound like he was her dad. I think you had a very lucky escape there.
Rembrandt Broam is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-18-2010
Liam17's Avatar
Advanced User
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: England
Posts: 493
Thanked 0 Times
Liam17 Liam17 is offline
Advanced User
Liam17's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: England
Posts: 493
Thanked 0 Times
Quote:
Originally Posted by whatkatiedid View Post
If you explain to him, I'm sure if he's a nice guy, he'll completely understand. Do it when you're ready, and if he's extra nice, he might help you choose a place to meet where you feel safe =)

I'm meeting Liam17 from here ^_^ and I'm going to be an anxious wreck too, but it'll be worth it =)
So am i D:

But it it will be worth it (:
Liam17 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-19-2010
Intermediate User
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 103
Thanked 3 Times
RegalSin RegalSin is offline
Intermediate User
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 103
Thanked 3 Times
I met some people in real life, from the internet, it was a phunny thing, to end up
at the same place. Ha ha you get to see, the otherside of you.
RegalSin is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Real friends in the real life? Starlight87 Social Anxiety Forum 17 12-18-2011 05:38 AM
Real life you vs. internet you. planemo Social Anxiety Forum 42 12-28-2009 11:50 PM
Feeling more scared on the internet than Real Life ThePunisher Social Anxiety Forum 8 12-21-2009 11:38 PM
Good at talking on the internet, suck at real life? Quickslash Social Anxiety Forum 10 12-24-2008 08:42 AM
Meeting someone off the Internet, HELP!!! MereMortal Social Anxiety Forum 3 07-21-2007 07:14 AM

All times are GMT. The time now is 10:41 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.10
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
 
Contact Us Privacy