made some progress

last night i made a massive effort and went with my best mate to meet up with dozens of his mates at a club.

If id just gone, and then left straight away, i would have still been happy with myself because i made that first step, made the effort, got dressed, and went. But thats not what happened, i had a good time aswell and i did really well with keeping my sp well and truly in check. Now the trick is always that same, i did this and i feel great, but this is just the big first step, now i have to back it up with repeatedly going out to places like this over and over again over the next month or so, now that im confident and i can, otherwise ill go back to were i started.

picked up this really nice chick aswell. parkia x maori (for all you other side of the world people, that means white nz x dark nz) she an air hostess :lol: she msg'd me after the club when i was on my way home (she'd left earlier than me aswell) saying if i wanted to go crash at her house im welcome hehe. i said no ! and it wasnt nothing to do with sp either :lol: i said that (in a nice, sugar coated, flirty way) because iv got enough experience to have learned you have to play hard to get with girls, or else they tire of you quickly. So i might call her tomorrow, hopefully its a nice day, cause she lives in a beach suburb, that would be a perfect place to take her

anyway so yer now its on to trying to be consistent and get out there a few more times over the immediate future so i can break this thing ... wish me luck !

edit : sometimes when im taking on a big challenge like this, i seem to come up with certain mantras on the fly as im trying to ready myself up before i get there right .... last nights was

"be yourself, i am who i am and im proud of it"
and
"look at the big picture, tonight is just a hump i have to get over to get there"

and they worked for me :lol: see stupid crappy catch frases are ok after all

well done mate, it gets easier just stay positive.

i did well myself this week went to a faithless gig this week with lots of folk from uni and was the loudest one there lol :lol:

good stuff mate all the best

aaaa

it will only get harder if he thinks negativley he has already done the hardest part by going out that first time. He should be proud of himself he now knows in his mind that he has done it once and should take confidence from it.

aaaa

i totally see what u are saying i can relate to your experiences too mate i hope things will pick up 4 u

thanks guys. No i definetly think it will get easier no doubt about it. The only way it might get harder again is if i dont make lots of efforts to go out now that i am feeling confident. Otherwise i think it will be fine, obviously still challenging, but i will be ok. Its like a learning expereince and every time i socialise properly i learn new skills, have more experiences, and confidence goes up more.

i just remembered though with that girl, im such a spastic ! i probly should 'ave gone last night after all, cause i just remembered im flying upstate tomorrow morning arrggh. What i might do is i might call her up tonight just so i can touch base, and ill ask her what she's doing nye, i might come down back a bit early and see her then.

Im not sure what im doing nye yet, if i'm going to go further upstate with some friends (theres a crazy hippy drugged up party town called byron bay) or if im going to fly back down to syd and do something there, or if im going to stay put and be a loser and do nothing :lol:

*Applaudes tommy*
Weldone matey, hope it keeps getting better and better for ya

i*claps emphatically*

hehe..i like that word.

well done mate!

i went to a party aswell..last night
people were trying to get me to dance but..no way.lol

i was okily sociable..but that could have been the pint inside of me talking

well at least you lot get party invites...lol

good on ya mate! Doubt you'll be doing nothing on nye, especially since you have a girl contact now. Keep it up mate

Tommy mate, I admire you. I find it really hard to get myself to go these sorts of things.

I had a work night out on friday, I went because I'd had a good time at the previous one. I drank a few pints fairly quickly to get the confidence up a bit which was a mistake. I find I try to hard to fit in at a social gathering. I either drink too much or am so over confident that I just embarass myself and thats what I thought I did.

I spent the weekend worrying about what I did, fearing the worst. It ruined the weekend, was like a permenant hangover the whole time.

Turns out I didn't do anything. Every1 was so wrecked that they spent too much time worrying about themselves to care about what I had done.

On saturday I had wound myself up so much that I wasn't going to out for weeks, I feared it too much.

When I'm out I generally enjoy myself but always avoid it. At the mention of a social event, I get a nervous feeling, I sweat and rapidly think of the first reason I can for not going out. Afraid that something will go wrong. Always thought I was a tw*t and a freak.

Good on you mate. Like someone else on here said to you, carry on like you have done, it will definately get easier. Avoidance will only ever make things worse.

hi everyone

thanks for all the support !

glad some of you guys are making moves aswell, love to see us sp'ers getting somewere ! :lol:

well, first better update on that chick. she got all embarressed after i didnt want to sleep with her that night ... and so she cut me off. o well :roll:

okies... since then have done a few social things, mostly small, but some moderate, and iv coped great, even had fun most of the time and it feels rewarding yer

anyway so heres whats up now. theres this australian forum iv been a regular on for like 6 months (non mental health related) and anyway so there is a big get together coming up this sunday, and lots of the members from sydney are going.

ANYHOW .... i really want to go ... it would be great to meet all these people i love em heaps iv got lots of friends ... also one lady is offering to come by and give me a lift so tis not a problem.

now .. if i were to go to this event anonomously, i would be absolutely fine with it. However .. meeting all these great people that i have been building relations with for months ... i feel pressure not to screw it up yer know ?

like i love that forum ... most of the members love me... and thats why it would be so great to go ... but also i dont want to shatter any illusions .. because that place is like my hang out.

oh and plus theres gonna be some hot girls there for sure .. all of them are my type... i gotta take the plunge and go huh ???

hmmm yes i have to go :lol:

Yes. No question about it.

Yes ya gotta go...dont live with any regrets!