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Finished off my last two assignments tonight.. just gotta make it through the two display days next week and then Im officially on holidays from uni for about a month and a half.. So relieved that its almost over and I can have some time to reset
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Got my marks today.. Trying to be happy that I passed everything, but the marks were pretty low... But really I struggled so hard with motivation this semester that I know I did the best I could with the whole mental health shit holding me down.. just wish my marks reflected the effort it took to not just do the work but to not drop out and run away and give up..

3 more weeks of holidays before the next semester starts up... havent achieved anything with my holidays so far aside from excessive sleeping and having managed to fracture my toe... not even doing anything fun.. it was raining and I slipped and kicked the concrete step...

The neighbor's kid has been coming over a fair bit for homework help though so I havent been able to wallow like I usually do which is technically a good thing, but of course leaves me feeling utterly drained and so Im not getting anything I need to do done... But today I am going to try and get some cleaning done... been saying that for about two weeks but today is a new day so maybe I'll actually do it
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enrollment in the tutes for this semester has not worked out in my favour... Not only is there a compulsory attendance lecture starting at 8:30 monday morning.. but its followed by a 5 hour gap before the stupid tute for the subject..all this guarantees is expensive parking on Mondays and me sleeping through every stupid lecture because I cannot even pretend to function in a lecture before 11am... and with my usual shitty sleep habits/cycle I'll be running on 3 hour sleep max every monday.. Considering they have both the equipment and the ability to stream all the lectures (which they usually all do) physical attendance shouldnt be essential as long as we're watching the damned lectures... Ugh... Stupid
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Sorry about all that, Loyal.

It dredges up memories of my efforts at school. Being a socially-anxious night owl is Hell on an academic career.

How's your toe? :/
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FountainandFairfax View Post
Sorry about all that, Loyal.

It dredges up memories of my efforts at school. Being a socially-anxious night owl is Hell on an academic career.

How's your toe? :/
It really is. I managed to send an email to the head of the course to explain that a 5 hour gap will be hell on my anxiety and to ask if she can squeeze me into the tute following the lecture.. they usually wont but at least this way I'll have tried


The toe is actually still really sore, but Im also not keeping it up nor have I gotten around to going to the doctors for pain killers so really I only have myself to blame
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My alarm is going to go off in about 4 hours, going for a drive a few hours south to see my great uncle who is dying in hospital right now.. Feeling quite anxious about it because I hate hospitals and the wind is picking up so I'll be worrying about the fences holding up...

Dont think I actually mentioned it in a previous post but we had some bad winds in the area and its broken our fence in a couple spots, I've managed to patch them til dad gets someone in to fix them properly but one of the breaks was so bad that 2 or my 3 dogs got out and went gallivanting. Luckily they both were home safe and sound that morning, quite lucky considering theres busy roads with idiots hooning around at all hours, and railroad tracks directly behind our house/where the fence broke. So while Im gone theres some bad winds due again and dad will be at work so I'll be worried about the dogs the whole time, but I cant exactly bring them to the hospital either...
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Could you tie them up until you got home? I'd be a nervous wreck worrying about it.

I'm sorry about your uncle, LX.
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Thankfully the fences held up fine while I was gone and my dogs were safe and sound when I got back. I also heard back from the head of the course and she was able to move me into an earlier class, not the first timeslot but the second. So not as good as I was hoping but definitely gonna make things easier for me.. reduces my gap from 5 hours to 2 hours. Im surprised but very grateful that she was so understanding.. When I was at MQ uni I'd sent a similar email and the response was if your mental health is that bad you should drop the course and likely out of university entirely.. that actually turned out to be the final straw and I did drop out... So I was really worried about the response I was going to get this time, so relieved it went well..

Visiting the Great Uncle went ok. Im glad I went because I'd only ever known him as rather stoic and reserved, but yesterday he was friendly and chatty. Im glad I got to meet him like that before he passes. He was quite yellow from the liver shutting down, and close to skeletal when he'd always had a bit of a belly. But he looked better than I anticipated. I was expecting him to still be in the mild coma that he had been in the previous day. But he was alert and chatty (so odd to see him strike up conversation, actually makes me really sad that there's this nice friendly guy that I never got to know coz he always been so stoic and silent and distant). He had a good day yesterday though so now the prognosis of how long he has to live is up in the air.. Its just a waiting game now
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the wind is still blowing quite forcefully, and its going to continue for at least another day... I really hate the wind.. its so stressful worrying about the fences or some other damage to the property/my dogs.. The stupid walls to the garage that is essentially my room/home are literally shaking when the wind blows really forcefully and its making it cold as all hell.. I've currently closed the dogs inside with me partly so I dont have to keep checking the fences, but also to keep them warm (they're all tucked in under blankets for warmth)

I hate the wind
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