Looking for kind words/words of wisdom

Lately I've been sort of seeing this guy i'm sick right now so he's been calling me on the phone (which is like death for me) I hardly talk at all. I really hate the phone but its the only way i'd really be able to talk to him. I do like him but i'm a huge commitment phobe and he's the total opposite, i told him he's gotta tone it down a bit and he has but i think he wants more.
I'm also scared to let him get to know the real me i'm afraid cuz i know he likes me now but what if he changes his mind when he gets to know what i'm really like? I dont know if i could take that very well.
I'm so torn i want to open up to him and stuff but i'm so afraid of getting hurt in the process. I feel like he might be getting sick of waiting for me and he'll just move on if i dont do something. I'm just so scared to be so vulnerable, i'm so used to keeping people at a safe distance.
Anyway i just needed to share that with someone thanks for listening.

Well I suppose I can give advice with my vast experience with relationships (lol...none).

Linds said:

I'm also scared to let him get to know the real me i'm afraid cuz i know he likes me now but what if he changes his mind when he gets to know what i'm really like?

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In my opinion, the sooner he gets to know the real you the better off you will be. Yes, there is a possibility that he will run for the hills, but if truely loves you (and it seems that way if he is calling you and toned it down when you asked him to), then he won't leave you. It will probably be easier on you if he knows what is up. If you wait a really long time to tell him, he will probably be just as likely to head for the hills, but it will be a lot more painful for you to see him go. I guess it would be possible to hide the real you from him indefinitly, but it would only make you miserable, and do you really want him to love someone you are not?

Anyways...that's my opinion...and coming from vast relationship experience, take it for what it is worth . If I ever get in a relationship I'm sure I will find myself in the same dilemma...hopefully I will listen to myself then, but probably not. Telling people about the real you is hard, so I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

Thanks for the advice Toad. I think i am going to tell him u made a good point that if i dont tell him i'm going to be miserable, its really true cuz its really hurting now not telling him and we're not even technically together.
we're hanging out in person this weekend so hopefully i'll get the chance to do it. *fingers crossed* Again, thank u
Here goes nothing. :lol:

Linds said:

Lately I've been sort of seeing this guy i'm sick right now so he's been calling me on the phone (which is like death for me) I hardly talk at all. I really hate the phone but its the only way i'd really be able to talk to him. I do like him but i'm a huge commitment phobe and he's the total opposite, i told him he's gotta tone it down a bit and he has but i think he wants more.
I'm also scared to let him get to know the real me i'm afraid cuz i know he likes me now but what if he changes his mind when he gets to know what i'm really like? I dont know if i could take that very well.
I'm so torn i want to open up to him and stuff but i'm so afraid of getting hurt in the process. I feel like he might be getting sick of waiting for me and he'll just move on if i dont do something. I'm just so scared to be so vulnerable, i'm so used to keeping people at a safe distance.
Anyway i just needed to share that with someone thanks for listening.

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hey Linds.....have you ever thought of writing him a letter?.....for me, it's easier to put my thoughts and feelings down on paper sometimes..and explain myself that way....it's really nice you have someone interested in you....good luck

when you tell him just be as optumistic as pos cuz he'll pick up that and optumism is a very attractive thing even if its you telling him somethink negative you can turn it around seeing it as somethink positive.