Looking at people´s eyes

Greeting everyone!

Today I went out of home with the porpose of looking at people´s eyes.
I´ve noticed how diffucult this had been for me. I couldn´t avoid looking at another place when they looked at me. Suddenly, an idea wet to my head, Do they think I´m flirtying with them.
For goodness sake! I´m idiot, I´m getting mad! I can´t eat in public, I can´t invite a friend, I can´t go shopping if someone didn´t come with me. I ´m always thinking about what people can or could think about me.
Coño! I´m fed up!

:twisted:

I feel your pain. I don't know the solution, it seems that we have to suffer like this till the day we die. The solution is death :evil:

everybody here has felt this way sometime, don't beat yourself because of it!
you're trying to look people in the eyes that's good!

i have a hard time with eye contact too, and I’m trying to change this habit,
i think you should try to look naturally to people. Eye contact is not staring everyone in the eyes , it don’t feel natural not to you or to the other person!!!
Try going slow, looking people in the face is a nice starter, when it gets natural then try looking people in the eyes

Just a suggestion, I’m still in the faces part

yeah I wouldn't go up to random people and stare at them in the eye. Could give the wrong impression. OTHER than flirting... lol.

I have this problem too. It's easy to LOOK at someone in the eyes actually but KEEPING CONTACT is the real thing. A lot of times you say okay look in their eyes. You do and flinch away quickly. Pending the person too. Family is easy for me. Wasn't always. Start there. Simple.

Then friends. I still can't do this all the time. Depends on the friend. Then - well girls I can't, people of authority or I look up to I can't. It's hard. You also think: "What if I look weird looking at them; or what if they see right through me". Truth is imo they can. Eyes say a lot. LOOKING AWAY and down and avoiding the eyes says it all though.

I have the same problem and death is not the answer at all, however I can't say that that has never crossed my mind. I hate the way I feel about things, it is stopping me from living my life properly. I am depressed, but I feel trapped as what I am depresssed about is the fact I am always so nervous, nervous I will say something that will upset people, nervous someone will upset me in public, humiliate me, nervous someone at work will talk to me and I will go all shaky and sweat and go red, nervous I will fall over, nervous of talking, eating in public scares the hell out of me, I avoid the idea of going for lunch with work collegues.

I am so angry with myself for being like this. I have always had problems with my self esteem, I was bullied and beaten up at school, then my best friend died, the bullys would shout and say they wish it had been me, then I had an eating disorder and got addicted to drugs, that suppressed how i felt till now. And now I am a wreck inside. Sometimes I manage to hide this, mainly when I first meet people, I can appear confident, then as i become better friends I get nervous and worried about what they think of me. I get worried after a night out that I have upset people and re-read texts I send people incase it could have offended people. My boyfriend re-assures me that I don't, I am not a bad drunk like some people, i never get angry or aggressive.

I just feel like a freak most the time. I make other people get nervous. At work I sit there getting worried that people are staring at me, I scared speaking to my boss even walking across to the printer!

I feel so alone and just do not know what to do! I almost wish I just had another problem, that wasn't so consuming... and didn't involve simple everyday things, like talking to people. I feel like a weirdo!

Staring at people is not easy at all. When i do that i feel very uncomfortable and my anxiety grows very quickly.
Well, i suppose it is a matter of getting used to it.
:?

Yeah looking at people's eyes are a problem for me too.

I didn't think it was too bad until, my lecturer at uni started taking about how in some cultures looking at the eyes when talking is not always done. But, he went on to say that in Western society, looking away might be construed as lying or hiding something.

Great, now l think I look shifty!

I suppose for me its not too bad as it used to be .. in most situations, except maybe looking or talking to females in social situations.

-SS

I have this same problem...everytime someone looks me in the eye, I immediately feel threatened...I have to look away..!

Somehow the brain is telling you that something as simple as eye-contact is threatening, which it's not of course.. :roll:

You just have to force yourself to look and soon you'll find it'll get more natural..

I am new to this website. I worry that i have offended people and then feel all paranoid. I cannot keep eye contact with people as it makes me feel all anxious and i worry what people think of me. I hate meeting up with people from work.
It makes you feel terribly lonely.

I always try to make eye contact with people..it makes me feel more..confident, powerful I think? although i've been told im kind of intimidating when doing that.

I try to look people in the eye when i am talking to them or they are talking to me but i feel so awkward and i can feel my eyes enlarging like i have just seen a ghost. I think it makes the other person feel awkward. I never used to be like this until about 2 years ago and it is really making me sad as i used to be quite an outgoing person but then always abit unconfident.

I can't hold eye contact for long, looking into other people's eyes is too intense - at the same time, feminine eyes are beautiful and I enjoy the contact, however brief.

Argamemnon said:

I feel your pain. I don't know the solution, it seems that we have to suffer like this till the day we die. The solution is death :evil:

Click to expand...

I agree! ::

i hate eye contact, esp if there is a few good distance and i am walking towards that person, and that person is looking at my eyes as im walking, i feel very awkward.. and then i start to give a weird smile. and their expression change, and it looks all wrong.

i learned from someone is that, if i am in this situation again, is to look and smile, and then look at the ground while smiling and as i am walking my last step there, i can look at them and smile.

TheAristocrat said:

If I'm in that situation, I like to take the initiative and say, "Hi/Good morning/afternoon" etc. It breaks a certain barrier that makes people feel more comfortable than when you smile but say nothing. People like to be acknowledged, and a verbal greeting in passing is a good thing. I recall when I was younger, before I developed AvPD. There was an oldish man I used to pass on my way to school. I just one day greeted him and he kind of lit up.

Click to expand...

Yeah, i can imagine what situation that may be, it depends though. the example i was giving was a cashier in the shop. who is looking at me and smiling as i am walking towards them.

i hate eye contact too im really self conscious about it. i feel like if i look someone in the eye then they'll see everything i hate about myself. i feel bad for not keeping eye contact too, like it will come off as rude or like im not listening or something....it sucks

just when I was think I was over this particular issue, it has crept back into my life. Least it just happen with one person, and so it's exclusive to that person, though I have NO IDEA why!

people equate no eye contact with dishonesty so I do my best to not give anyone the chance to think that about me and give them serious eye contact instead but yeah this just crept back up on me just recent and sucks.

Hmmmm...

First time I ever had this issue was in my last job, where my boss would never look me in the eye,from interviews, to workplace, and he used any method to avoid it, by starting a chat with someone else, or leave the room, when I ever ask a question.

That's why I'm no longer there, and possibly the reason I came to this forum.

For as long as I can remember I've never been able to make eye contact with anyone including family members. I can manage about 2secs then I have to look away and I don't look them I the eye again. When people try to make eye contact with me I will look at the wall, the floor or anything else apart from them. But that doesn't stop them from looking at me and they will constantly stare at me while they talk which makes me embarrassed, face turns bright red, I feel even more self conscious, uncomfortable and anxious than I'm normally am which doesn't help. And when I feel like this I don't have the confidence to get up and walk out of the room for the fear of everyone staring at me and talking about me behind my back.

I almost never look people in the eyes, and the more focused I am in maintaining eye contact the more difficult it is. I usually don't even try, and just make sure I can hear everything the other person is saying, or pay attention to whatever they are doing.