Long term relationships, experiences?

F

Frazy91

Active member
Ok guys so theres a lot of posts on here about trying to get girlfriends and relationships etc, but how many of us actually are in long term relationships that are going well?

Ive been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a year and 2 months now, and its had problems because of sa and depression, but its still going great (touch wood). Its amazing to have that person you can feel yourself around. And thats how i feel with her, and all the sa goes out the window when shes around cause it just dosent matter anymore. And then when shes gone, depression and sa all sink back in and i dont want to leave the house.

But anyway im rambling, the problems its caused, im extremely nervous around her family and always have been, which makes things very awkward when im at her house (rarely). She also hates the fact that im always unhappy and wishes she could change it. But apart from that, we spend many happy times together and i hope she feels the same, that were still going strong. :)
 
WeirdyMcGee

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
I was with my boyfriend for almost 8 years.
What did I learn from my experiences?
-guys can be just as self conscious as girls
-some guys don't do well with short-term long distance living arrangements
-some guys don't care if there's always a hot dinner waiting for them at home
-some guys' sweat can smell an awful lot like malt vinegar- lol
-it takes alot of pain to establish a lasting relationship, and even more pain to end that relationship.

It was a month before wedding ring fittings when he decided to tell me that he didn't love me anymore.
I wish I could've made him happy but if I was keeping him from being happy, then it was for the best that he broke my heart. I never mattered; it was all him, always- in my mind.

I think that maybe it takes alot of selflessness to make a relationship work.
I gave up a 100k career opportunity, I quit college to work because he couldn't support us when his work laid him off and made so many changes to my lifestyle to make him happy. He was the only person who accepted who I was and didn't mind looking after me all the times that I was sick and dying.
That was all I could've asked for from a partner.

A person can only take so much though. Some can take more than others--- and he was done with me.
I'll always love him unconditionally though. Just like I always told him I would.
I won't try dating ever again because I'm just too weak to try to make things work 'forever'.
And when I say I'll do something forever- I mean it.
 
AlizeD

AlizeD

Active member
I had a realationship for 2 years. it went pretty well considering my fear of guys and stuff.
the first year was just awesome, the second year got troublesome and then i just couldn't go on, since all i could think about were my fears and i got scared of him and well, i broke up.
now i am just happy being single. but i guess that my fears are more than SP when it comes to relationships. i am afraid getting touched and so on, so..i guess the SP was no problem in the relationship, he made me feel better about it
 
D

dragonoth

Well-known member
WeirdyMcGee said:
I wish I could've made him happy but if I was keeping him from being happy, then it was for the best that he broke my heart. I never mattered; it was all him, always- in my mind.

I think that maybe it takes alot of selflessness to make a relationship work.
I gave up a 100k career opportunity, I quit college to work because he couldn't support us when his work laid him off and made so many changes to my lifestyle to make him happy. He was the only person who accepted who I was and didn't mind looking after me all the times that I was sick and dying.
That was all I could've asked for from a partner.
Click to expand...

I cannot believe how so damn selfless you are! It's amazing. If there comes a day when you would like to find someone to love again, you should definitely share this wonderful quality with them. It's too good not to share!
 
Felgen

Felgen

Well-known member
What I've learned from my only serious relationship (which ended in august):

- It's not as hard as you think it is
- Don't put relationships on a pedestal
- Do not appear to desperate
- Bunny boilers are very much real
 
jus

jus

Well-known member
whats a bunny boiler... ? I've heard it mentioned a few times (by you I think heh)

And Wierdy, dont give up :) You sound like a great girl.
 
DespairSoul

DespairSoul

Well-known member
WeirdyMcGee said:
I was with my boyfriend for almost 8 years.
What did I learn from my experiences?
-guys can be just as self conscious as girls
-some guys don't do well with short-term long distance living arrangements
-some guys don't care if there's always a hot dinner waiting for them at home
-some guys' sweat can smell an awful lot like malt vinegar- lol
-it takes alot of pain to establish a lasting relationship, and even more pain to end that relationship.

It was a month before wedding ring fittings when he decided to tell me that he didn't love me anymore.
I wish I could've made him happy but if I was keeping him from being happy, then it was for the best that he broke my heart. I never mattered; it was all him, always- in my mind.

I think that maybe it takes alot of selflessness to make a relationship work.
I gave up a 100k career opportunity, I quit college to work because he couldn't support us when his work laid him off and made so many changes to my lifestyle to make him happy. He was the only person who accepted who I was and didn't mind looking after me all the times that I was sick and dying.
That was all I could've asked for from a partner.

A person can only take so much though. Some can take more than others--- and he was done with me.
I'll always love him unconditionally though. Just like I always told him I would.
I won't try dating ever again because I'm just too weak to try to make things work 'forever'.
And when I say I'll do something forever- I mean it.
Click to expand...

Weirdy u have amazing heart, im sorry to hear about your long term relation wich was ending after so long time together. This done a lof of damage in your heart. U sound like loving,carrying and selfsacrifice woman. If im in love i would to do anything for my bf only what actually im not able do it is go trought my anxiety wich is destroying my relation now and done before too. Im not strong enough this heavy emotions and depressions are stronger then me. I dont know how to cope with it and be happy in relation, im happy only if we must not join outside world, if come something with wich i must fight like go out is really depressing me a lot and im highly anxious. I hope u will not give up with love forever. Im the same if i mean something forever i mean it this we have common.;)
 
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