Lets post our small victories

Sial Axetder said:

I returned eye contact to a smiling human today. Was leaving theater. Normally do not return eye contact. Though I couldn't return the smile I did nod head, acknowledging - or I don't know.

They're on to me! They know. No, just kidding.

They don't know a thing.

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Meh, I understand that. I'm making it a point to LOOK at people, which is way outside my comfy zone. And since I don't want to be a super creep looking at people, I have no choice but to smile or nod or something Anyways, way to go!

I can't believe!I had the courage to enter my new classroom.I was so nervous that I didn't even notice the teacher was there!She asked me: ''You are the new girl, aren't you?'' Me :'yes' and blushing and my voice trembling ::.Teacher:'come here, in front of the class and introduce yourself to your classmates!''.What!?I was feeling my face burning, not blushing.All I could say was my name.Teacher: 'But why have you moved to us, your highschool is far the best one''.Methinking: 'cause I was bullied, for what else?')Of course I said smth like : I wasn't pleased with my english teacher's method of teaching'.Then I went to the nearest desk I found).Obv I had to go with some mates to drink a juice and to talk.I have a feeling they didn't believe my supposed reason for which I changed school.One of them has even asked me:,,But why moving in the last year?isn't it difficult for you?Maybe you couldn't get on well with your mates..''.I've blushed again.So it's obvious to them I hadn't a verysweet life at my previous school.I just hope they won't perceive me a weird one.I know I did my best.I laughed with them,I tried to tell some jokes, I asked them about the teachers etc.I don't even want to imagine how it would be like for me if they would start too to treat me bad...I feel I want to change myself, I really want to be a careless one, relaxed, enjoying parties and so on.But inside me there's smb waiting to give her a chance to appear (again).At least this last year I won't let the real part of me to come to surface...I'm too afraid so I'll be a fake one.Only this year.

I survived my driving lesson today and was told i'm doing really well.

Didn't wake up in a hospital, went to class, talked to a stranger, put a beautiful girl onto a plane (not really a victory, but yeah)

moni10 said:

I can't believe!I had the courage to enter my new classroom.I was so nervous that I didn't even notice the teacher was there!She asked me: ''You are the new girl, aren't you?'' Me :'yes' and blushing and my voice trembling ::.Teacher:'come here, in front of the class and introduce yourself to your classmates!''.What!?I was feeling my face burning, not blushing.All I could say was my name.Teacher: 'But why have you moved to us, your highschool is far the best one''.Methinking: 'cause I was bullied, for what else?')Of course I said smth like : I wasn't pleased with my english teacher's method of teaching'.Then I went to the nearest desk I found).Obv I had to go with some mates to drink a juice and to talk.I have a feeling they didn't believe my supposed reason for which I changed school.One of them has even asked me:,,But why moving in the last year?isn't it difficult for you?Maybe you couldn't get on well with your mates..''.I've blushed again.So it's obvious to them I hadn't a verysweet life at my previous school.I just hope they won't perceive me a weird one.I know I did my best.I laughed with them,I tried to tell some jokes, I asked them about the teachers etc.

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Aww that's really awesome, Moni10! You should be proud of yourself today for the way you handled such a difficult situation.

I don't even want to imagine how it would be like for me if they would start too to treat me bad...

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Don't assume your new classmates will be like the hateful people who made your life so miserable in the past. There's no reason that they should be. I hope you can make some good friends at your new school, and you'll be able to focus on your studies without the stress and anxiety that the bullies at your last school caused you.

I feel I want to change myself, I really want to be a careless one, relaxed, enjoying parties and so on.But inside me there's smb waiting to give her a chance to appear (again).At least this last year I won't let the real part of me to come to surface...I'm too afraid so I'll be a fake one.Only this year.

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Maybe you'll change your mind on that as you get to know these new people better, and feel you can trust them. No one should be fearful of just being who they are.

Rembrandt Broam said:

Aww that's really awesome, Moni10! You should be proud of yourself today for the way you handled such a difficult situation.



Don't assume your new classmates will be like the hateful people who made your life so miserable in the past. There's no reason that they should be. I hope you can make some good friends at your new school, and you'll be able to focus on your studies without the stress and anxiety that the bullies at your last school caused you.



Maybe you'll change your mind on that as you get to know these new people better, and feel you can trust them. No one should be fearful of just being who they are.

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I'm trying to hold in mind that maybe I'll have a good time with them.But sometimes I feel guilty as if I deserved all those past things.Dunno why.
And can't help to fear of what is coming next.

Jake123 said:

To try to raise my low self-esteem and body image I went walking around town and gave myself 1 point for every guy I looked better than. Surprisingly, I got a lot of points!
(I guess everyone around me is just hideously ugly)

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Doesn't seem like you're ugly judging from your pictures. If you put effort into your appearance, you'll see that many other people seem to be getting out-of-shape, have bad dental hygiene and so on.

moni10 said:

I'm trying to hold in mind that maybe I'll have a good time with them.But sometimes I feel guilty as if I deserved all those past things.Dunno why.

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No one deserves to be bullied, or to have their life made miserable by others.

And can't help to fear of what is coming next.

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::

I hope happier times for you is what is coming next.

victory of the day: completed my math homework.

At work today we had to have our photos taken for new ID cards. This is just the sort of situation I'd normally blush in but I handled it well and didn't blush. It helped that it was unexpected, whereas if I'd known about it a few days beforehand I probably would have got worked up over it.

Small victory.. Getting my creative motivation back a little. It's been gone for a looonnngg time.

I just answered the community nurse's questions clearly without stumbling over my words!!
Yay!

I did work experience at a restaurant for a week! But I was so scared and I cried myself to sleep every night of that week because I was so so stressed out about it.

tweetebird said:

Meh, I understand that. I'm making it a point to LOOK at people, which is way outside my comfy zone. And since I don't want to be a super creep looking at people, I have no choice but to smile or nod or something Anyways, way to go!

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Meh. Meaning: 'Indifference; to be used when one simply does not care.'
Many times.

So you have forced a smile? I dislike doing that. Must appease the socialites.

I talked to people today.

Malady said:

I spoke to my learner support team today and told them all about my mental health issues, I wasn't going to but decided that it might be beneficial. I still can't get rid of that feeling of shame when I talk about my problems though :/

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I know what I say won't make a difference,but for what it's worth you having nothing to be ashamed of.You didn't ask or choose to have your problems.

I'm glad you told the support team,hopefully you will get more help and support now which you deserve if you feel ashamed or not.

Malady said:

Thanks Dan, I guess that feeling has just become ingrained in me over the years. I've felt inferior and abnormal all my life.

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Aw,I know it's so hard to think otherwise it's something I struggle with too feeling worthless,but you deserve to get better and you deserve to have a happy life,no one deserves to have the problems we do.

Got a doctor's appointment today, to do some tests.. It will be next week..
I really didn't want to at first, but then I thought I'd be so much calmer after the tests anyway..

Also found some contact info for other phone calls to make (one I have been avoiding..) Actually wanted to call them today then did some research too long, so hopefully will call them tomorrow/this week..

Got a nice e-mail from someone I respect too..

Talked to Mum yesterday, told her how the pressures and expectations and such just make things worse.. Today was better then.. Lovely sunny day today..

Danfalc said:

Aw,I know it's so hard to think otherwise it's something I struggle with too feeling worthless,but you deserve to get better and you deserve to have a happy life,no one deserves to have the problems we do.

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Malady, you're such a sweet lady!! Yes you DO deserve good and the best things happening!!

I have had these problems sometimes too.. It's hard to struggle with them sometimes.. They can also relate to energy levels and nutrition and CBT 'thought-busting' etc! I had 'Conversations with God' last night, just wrote things down on the paper, and answers as they were floating into my head - maybe you can try it? It's was fun and eye-opening!

(And I'm not such a religious person, more spiritual if anything, but I got the idea from a book, where the author did the same, kinda. Some people really liked the book and recommended it to me, it somehow didn't speak to me though - then I thought one needs to do the 'Conversations' by oneself-?? And Whoa! Maybe try it?)

I went to the department store for the first time in 5 months!

Allowing myself to feel a little bit happy so now and then. It's been a while.