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Old 01-06-2012
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Hey, so... I thought I would make this thread because I have a number of questions and thoughts that have been bubbling around in my head for a while, and instead of making a thread for each one, I thought perhaps it would be better to just get all of it out in one go... in one single thread... I didnt want to infect the entire board with my possibly inane and trivial thoughts.

This isnt a journal btw, its just a random thread...it will die in time.. I was kinda hoping to get some insight because to be honest... I really feel like I dont know anything. I cant be SURE of anything...the conclusions I come to about life I think might be all wrong. I wonder...how anyone can be confident in anything they know?

Anyway....to anyone who responds, I will be grateful. This...might be a bit long...

So firstly... I have a question about the concept of equality.
I have been thinking about this, and it seems to me, its something that most people believe in, however its one of these words that can be interpreted vastly differently depending on the type of person who is defining it.
I believe in equality... because to me equality is equivalent to human worth.
I believe that a person who is homeless and has nothing has the same human worth as anybody else.... that ALL people regardless of personal background is entitled to basic rights and have the opportunity to lead a dignified life. I believe the strong have a moral obligation to help the weak. How do you define equality? what does it mean to you? I am particularly interested to hear points of view that contrast my own.

The next question I have is about why first impressions last.... from a...sociological stand point (I guess) What is the reason why a first impression is the foundation behind how someone perceives another person....and why is it so hard to change? Is there a physiological reason for this..? Why can a bond between two people form dependent on the context and the dynamics of the situation when exactly the opposite could happen....yet the people are still the same...what is it about the situation that makes people either like or dislike each other? Does that make sense?

Similarly do you believe that people form friendships based on being able to identify with another person? As in.... people tend to attract people who remind them of themselves.... do you agree? Why..? Also, is friendship based on whether or not there is something in it for the other person? Does one person need to provide something for the other person to remain interested.

Is a persons position in life a direct result of personal effort...? Are there external factors that determine how successful they are? for example Is a homeless person homeless because of the decisions they have made or are they victims of circumstance that cant be helped?

Do looks matter? I think they do, but some people disagree. I think looks greatly determines how one will perceive you and in turn how someone may treat you. Whether that be favorably, unfavorably, correct or incorrect... do looks determine how people treat you?

Is personal reality based on ones experiences and upbringing? This is something that interests me greatly. Is how you see the world a direct result of your personal experiences and environment? If so...how can one be so certain that what they believe is actually correct when someone else who has lived a different kind of life sees things differently and believes the opposite just as strongly? How can one convince themselves that they are right?

and lastly (although not really) who initiates the first move when it comes to having people in your life? I always feel people are greatly turned off by people they dont know. Its like this.... "if I dont know you, then I dont want to know you...because I dont know you." I dont know if thats right or not...but its what I seem to observe. If this is the case... then how do people get to know one another? Does somebody have to be a little braver than the other person to start a conversation...? Why is it cliques and groups are so hard to break into? Why is fitting in such a difficult feat? And why do people only notice this when they dont fit in?


Anyway thats it... man I feel better I got all that off my chest. Naturally no one is obliged to respond, nor is anyone obliged to respond to ALL of it if you choose too. But if you do... you have my thanks. I hope it makes sense.
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Old 01-06-2012
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I disagree about first impressions, they rarely last. First impressions quickly change once people have more exposure to each other. If you are only going to have a brief one-off encounter, then yes, a first impression is the only opportunity you have. An example woul be an interview.

Regarding looks, yes it is. I have observed that people who claim it doesn't very frequently contradict their own opinion that it doesn't. They do so because they do not deem themselves unattractive, this offering a very hollow, "looks don't matter" mantra is the most they have to concern themselves with the matter.

Not everyone has a disinterest in people they don't know. Granted they aren't going to be interested in you while they are going about their business, but in a sociable setting people are very open to encountering new people. I suppose the ideal here would be to find situations, activities etc that can bring you opportunities to engage new people. If you can bring yourself to do it, lol. I personally can't right now, nor am I even interested to be honest.

Coming from a South African background, I feel it's important to defend the term equality before the ANC dunk it back into the gutter lol. Seriously though, it's an interesting question, and I could answer it in many different ways. For the sake of keeping it brief, I'll say that equality, to me, is the ideal of creating a fairer society. a society where we all have the opportunity to fulfill our potential. If we truly want a fairer society then I'm afraid Messrs Rothchild et Rockefeller and the rest of the jolly crew must go
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sometimes i ve many things inside me but i cant really put them out so im happy u did , its something that can make us feel better ,

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Originally Posted by ShyKiwi View Post
How do you define equality? what does it mean to you?
btw equality...thats a big word..
what u believe in its something a value that u should be proud of , no matter if is a homeless or a cityowner.. i mean no matter what a person has physically , what u have does say what u are , i mean a person is a person and shoul be respected as a human being not because owns 2ferrari 5houses or a jet or not respected because is homeless at least thats my way of think, the other way i was with my family and my mum met a friend that was working by taking care of an ancient guy that had some problems i mean some handicap , for tell the true at first i was a bit scared to say hi and greet him but then after i say him hi and gave my hand the reaction of this man really got me , was a wonderful reaction , this guy even all the ****ing problems ( i mean true ones ) that he has or that the life putted throw him , he smiled sooo big even just for a "hi" this made me tought about many things and i can provide that a smile of this person its really felt and can even reach ur heart .

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The next question I have is about why first impressions last....
sorry for my lil OT but in somehow the first impression thing its a bit connected to it and btw i think first impression there could be some chemistry too , for tell the true im bad in chemistry xD because at school in chemistry exams all u had to do is bring a cake for the exam and u would have took a good mark =P lolz anyways its hard to say but its something u feel as soon as u know someone but it have to be not missunderstood with prejudice that its a bad thing to me . but it depends if u gave them the possibility to know u better and if they gave u this possibility it can be changed.

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Similarly do you believe that people form friendships based on being able to identify with another person? As in.... people tend to attract people who remind them of themselves.... do you agree? Why..? Also, is friendship based on whether or not there is something in it for the other person? Does one person need to provide something for the other person to remain interested.
some ppl tend to attract as friendshipness to ppl that reminds them but also the opposite but even in the opposite i think that is with someone that u feel understand that can know how u feel even if u feel bad and things like that, its hard to find a true friend , usually this word is used in a wrong way just to say , but i give it a soo deep meaning i mean there are ppl that r friend with other ones just for interest but a true one its totally other level they say who find a friend finds a treasure i would had a true one. as everykind of relationship and feeling it need to be "feeded" and has to be in twice direction other wise it is not, but is that what it makes soo good.

Quote:
Is a persons position in life a direct result of personal effort...? Are there external factors that determine how successful they are?
sometimes the life can be cruel , not always ur position life its proportional to ur effort , sometimes ur sitution its "ur fault" other times it isnt , it depends , but what i can say is that the effort u make in ur life is not always just for ur position life i mean u can work hard hard for all ur life and gain what a rich spoiled guy earned in a month without doing a ****...just because he was "lucky" that somone gave him something big but maybe ur effort maybe wont give u money happyness but can give u other kind of happyness and btw i think that every effort u make sooner or later will be always payed back .

Quote:
Do looks matter? I think they do, but some people disagree. I think looks greatly determines how one will perceive you and in turn how someone may treat you. Whether that be favorably, unfavorably, correct or incorrect... do looks determine how people treat you?
the now days society unluckly its based more on "how u appear " than "who u really are or how much u worth" in my opinion is what u have inside that really counts but is true that ppl judice someone just throw the eyes...so very often it determines on how they treat u , unlucky.
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Hey ShyKiwi, I was wondering about these things too. I'll try to express my thoughts here, sorry if I sound silly, which I'm sure I will...but here goes..
Yeah, I do believe that everyone deserves to be treated equally. But I think equality should be dependent more or less on individuality. Not everything works for everyone. So what is helpful to a person, might be harmful to another.

First impressions are important, though they aren't everything. People might change their opinion of others as they gradually get to know them but yeah we always tend to somewhat stick to our first impressions. The reason is hidden in how our minds work. Somehow our minds are hardwired when it comes to judging people. Because, we are incapable of considering every single detail about them, so we tend to draw an overall picture only by a few traits. All of us do this, even if we conciously know that its wrong, we can't help it. This is how the world appears way more easier to us. Once we've formed a positive or negative stereotype about a person, we tend to willingly follow them and avoid any exceptions. Like if we think of someone as a bad person we tend to emphasize on the times when they're acting like a **** or picking a fight but overlook when they're acting decent as just an accident.
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We do tend to be attracted by people who remind us more or less about ourselves. There is a thing called 'opposite attraction' but still there remains an underlying similarity though people might seem opposite on the surface.

Looks do matter. People often assume good looking people as smart, confident, funny, social etc. Its seldom about natural beauty though, none of us are perfect. I think it more depends on how well groomed and put together the person seems or what impression they give to others. Its somewhat related to the first impression, cos if someone seems more attractive or put together we can't help but view them positively.

People are sometimes lazy when it comes to welcome differences. Some of them are also intimated by changes. So if a person is new to a group they have to take more effort to fit in unless everyone becomes comfortable. It seems unfair and easier said than done though.
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