just need to vent

i went out of the house today for two hours. its the only time i left the house and was social all week. while i was out everyone was talking about what they were doing and i just had nothing to say. when i left everyone else had places to be and im here online on a friday night. it felt nice to see people again, to make people laugh, to hear they were happy to see me...but it makes me wonder why they dont think to call and say hi?? its not like im in anotehr country....

i feel really lonely. i dont want to be around a bunch of people, ive always prefered smaller groups. i find them more intimate, and i am more confident in them. but even when im in these groups i feel lonely in thought...like no one understands me. i feel ignored and excluded. on the rare occasion someone does include me in something i feel like im being a burden to them.

what i would love more than anything is a companion. i just want to be able to call someone up and go some place...to not feel like im bothering them! i want someone who i can hug and not have it be awkward. i want to be close to someone both socially and physically

i dont feel loved, or wanted, and i think im boring. im moderately depressed and ive lost interest in a lot of things i used to be really into. i dont have any hobbies and have little motivation to pursue anything new

yes! i know exactly what you mean dude. there's a reason why they're not opening up to you - you gotta open up to them first. you gotta show them you're fully relaxed and receptive to them. you don't even have to have a lot to say. hell, you don't really have to do anything... except for loosening up.

people always think you have to have something to offer to be a good friend or significant other, that's not always true. you just gotta know how to open up, have a good time and just be your regular old self.

i want someone who i can hug and not have it be awkward.

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Same with me. I try to keep that out of my head, but sometimes I feel like I'm being torn apart in longing for that. Someone to vent to... someone to comfort me...

Nobody ever calls anyone in my life. I don't know how the rest of the world gets social stuff planned. I always have to call. And I guess it's like that everywhere. My parents say it is. You have to take the initiative or nothing happens. You have to "call and say hi" no matter how little you like doing that. If your friends are glad to see you, they should be glad to have you call them, right?

i cant open up to people. ive tried. i jsut feel like i wont ever be taken seriously, or that i'll bring the mood down, or depress someone, or they'll go and tell someone. i have trust issues

the only people i can hug for no reason are my parents and siblings. i wish i was this close with my friends.

i just want someone to be with. i feel like i dont have a single friend, a single person who really has an interest in my life..

I feel like this as well but i've also started to question whether i actually want to be around people and have friends. It all seems like such a let down. I think i have this picture in my head of what my life could be like(i think i have read to many books and watched too much TV) anyway real life never seems to live up to what i imagine it could be, leaving me with the thoughts of why bother? Truth is i think i am happier in my own company.

Leki said:

I feel like this as well but i've also started to question whether i actually want to be around people and have friends.

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You do.

Leki said:

Truth is i think i am happier in my own company.

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You're not.