just don't like talking to other people

i am just thinking about how much my life sucks... i am 30 and i live with my gf, she is boring to me and doesn't even turn me on anymore. we get in petty sulky fights all the time and barely ever have sex. i have a few friends and they're ok but they're all better friends w/ each other than they are with me. and when i introduce 1 friend to another friend, they usually get to be better friends than with me. i ****ing hate my life.

i trace it all back to the fact that other people are boring to me... i dont find it interesting to talk to people and i usually find it VERY awkward. even if i know someone well i find it weird to ride in the car with them. i cant really meet new people easily because i find it so awkward to chat, and i dont know what to do with new friends anyway.

i just think so much about how my life could be better if i was interested in other people. i'd make new friends, meet people, do fun stuff. every conversation i ever get in, my main thought is how to end it so i can go back to being comfortable (i.e. ALONE). i guess my biggest problem is my gf. if it were just me i could probably deal, but i brought her into this and she loves me but i could seriously break up with her any time.

god. what do i do.

Well, it sounds to me that your relationship has passed its sell by date, and it does happen. This is the point of dating: that you get closer to someone you think might be right for you, try being in a relationship with them and see whether it works or not, long term.

Are you sure that your other friends bond better with eachother than with you, or do you suspect that might be irrational? Remember, you can't read their minds, however sure you might be of what they're feeling for eachother. If you have SA, it might simply be that you feel a greater divide between yourself and your friends than really exists. It's best to try and disregard that.

In any case, why worry if they do have a stronger bond with eachother? Who's taking notes? If you prefer a cooler, more casual friendship (and perhaps, on some level, you do, because that's what's materialized) then maybe you've got what you really want. Think about what things would be like if your friendships with them were deeper: would you actually enjoy it, or would you pretty soon start feeling hemmed in? I suggest this because I sometimes feel the way you've described, but the truth is I get fed up of constantly pandering to very close friends and end up drifting away. I just prefer less contact.

I get what you're saying when you say others are boring to you. Perhaps the friendships need to be based more on something other than either you or the friend. A hobby or mutual interest or whatever. And many of us find it awkward to chat. Again, perhaps a friendship based on mutual interests would be better?

First of all you need toget rid of your gilfriend, why to be in a destuctive relationship? Wasting of time and nerves.

And yeah, I also have these thoughts about how my life would be easier if I would be interested in other people. I just dont care... I cant relate.

I can definitely relate to all that has been said. It used to be a lot worse with me as far as not wanting to talk to other people. I have always had this cynical view towards most people. I've seen people that claim to be friends with certain people and then they would talk about this person behind their back or do something that friends should not do. I have always felt more comfortable when I'm by myself, but I can't be alone forever. I just have to learn to be able to trust people and not always assume the worst. It is not good to isolate yourself from everyone.