just can´t deal with that anymore

Aelos

New member
I´m so desperate with this anxiety, i am not able to go to anywhere or even work. I don´t have friends, i hate my dad... i´m homossexual, i hate my body...i just want to die.... Tryed to do that once, but my mom would die if i did that.
I can´t talk to people, walk on the street... they look at me like i´m a rude person becuz of my face, but i´m just feeling panic, you know?
I quit whit the medicine, with the psichologist.. it doest work
Please..if somebody could help me writting something, i´d apreciate it.
 
Well you just gotta pick yourself up, try to do what you can to help yourself through..Think of a future where you don't have SA or anything...Sounds pretty nice doesn't it?? Now you have a goal, GO FOR IT!!
 

where2begin

New member
I´m so desperate with this anxiety, i am not able to go to anywhere or even work. I don´t have friends, i hate my dad... i´m homossexual, i hate my body...i just want to die.... Tryed to do that once, but my mom would die if i did that.
I can´t talk to people, walk on the street... they look at me like i´m a rude person becuz of my face, but i´m just feeling panic, you know?
I quit whit the medicine, with the psichologist.. it doest work
Please..if somebody could help me writting something, i´d apreciate it.

I know that everyone's situation is different, but this reminds me of myself a little bit. The thought of going out terrifies me, especially when i'm walking along and someones walking towards me. I don't know where to look, if I look around and pretend they're not there i'm afraid it'll make them upset, even if their a complete stranger and couldn't care less about me. But i'm terrified of eye contact, i'm scared they'll think i'm a freak. So when someone comes close to me, I get really nervous and they must wonder what the hell's wrong with me. I force myself to go out, even if it takes ages to get ready.

I feel so trapped, on the one hand I want to go out and meet someone and fall in love and then everything would be okay, because nothing else will matter but the person beside me. But on the other hand, i'm so scared, i've never approached a girl and told her I like her. I met someone at college last year, and she made a real effort and asked for my email and asked me out, but I pushed her away. The first time we met was so great that I got scared that everything afterwards would be a dissapointment to her. And now we dont talk anymore and she's at University miles away.

I wish I could be more helpful, it sounds like you're going through hell, your still here, and I guess that means you're pretty brave one way or the other. But I don't know much about you so I don't wanna make assumptions. If you want, you could message me any time you feel like it, maybe it'll help.
 

Adrie35

Member
I've experience that the teacher are pointing at my face and say that i look like i'm gonna kill her as i was doing nothing but concentrate on her class... That's really feel bad. I also have experience that i try to cope with my fear and try to talk when others are talking... but they are reply like you don't have the rights to talk like that.

Sometimes i feel very weak to face this all alone. Peoples around me just like thinking i'm such a moron or weirdo or something. Nobody seems to understand... I hate to say that because it was like making the situation worst but, when i feel so lost, i will think about my mother, although she is not helping much with it but she is giving support. I know your mother love you too, I hope you can make some target in life for example make your life more happier.

When you are walking outside, just walk straight and act as if it was nothings happen although you feel scare. Just try not to care of what other people think. I've try this, it get me feels better.

Although i still can't cope with the social problems but i try to solve the problems that is much easy for me to solve alone first. Like trying to convince myself i'm alright and that is nothing wrong with me so others are definitely not staring at me. They are just some pass by people, they will disappear in my life just after this sight, that is nothing to be afraid of.

I hope this information of my experience does help.

Really hope that you will get well soon. Any problems just come to this forum. We understand your feeling because we are having the same feelings too. There are many people willing to give their advice here.

wish you good luck! :)



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Sorry that i'm not good in english
 
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