Just becoming super-awkward if you try to be more extroverted / talk more

This is what hurts me. Like sometimes I would really force myself to talk, force myself to be more extroverted, force myself to try to engage with people.

Unfortunately most of the time such efforts backfire pretty badly. I just come across as really, really awkward. Any conversation just ends up super-stilted and awkward because well, I am forcing myself. People don't respond very well because people are super-sensitive at detecting awkwardness and, unless they're very good with people, they just make the awkwardness worse.

Also another problem is I can't "force" myself to be extroverted 24/7/365, because it's so draining and painful to me. This is especially true if you've forced yourself to be "extroverted" in front of people who don't really know you - they will "expect" you to be continually extroverted (even if in an awkward way)... but I can't keep up and eventually "break down" back into my shy self, and I just painfully regret the awkward actions I committed "whilst trying to appear extroverted".

Yea, I can really relate. Forcing myself to be a social person every time I go to college exhausts me. ::

I can relate but I think just trying in the first place is a great start! xD

Yeah, pretty on-point. I often times force myself to be someone who is outgoing and it will work at first but if I don't keep the intensity and keep the spotlight on myself (without being too awkward), I will just fall in the shadows and stay quiet. And even then, "forcing" yourself to be extroverted kinda backfires because there is also pressure to say or do something that is extroverted-like.

Perhaps it really begins with accepting the fact that you are interesting without having to force anything; and I suppose that stems from some sort of self-esteem and confidence. But I agree, it is better to atleast try. There are books and other sources that help people establish body language and whatnot in order to progress. You're definitely on the right path.

I feel like saying anything in any conversation with anyone (friends even) is forced because my SA wants me to stay silent at all costs.