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Old 10-27-2010
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Hi. I have a job interview tommorow. My first real jobinterview. Ironicly its a mental care organisation (if they only knew how mentally ****ed up i am ) I was wondering if there is anyone who has tips for someone with social anxiety problems doing a job interview.

I'm actually not that nervous about the interview itself but more about everything leading up to it. Like the travel to the building, first meeting with the interviewer and possible future collegues, etc. Also would you advise me to be honest about having SA or just don't mention it? Please help!!
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Old 10-27-2010
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Well, I'm in no position to give advise but this is what I would do.

I would exercise really hard about an hour before I started getting dressed (in my pre-planned interview outfit, of course). This mellows me out and uses up some of the adrenaline. I don't know if you're a sweater-blusher, so I'll leave that stuff out. Getting there will be fine. you've traveled to lots of places before and beaten the anxiety, so I'm not worried about you. Well done for not being nervous about the interview. Not that you should be. You're obviously the best person for the job. I would absolutely under no circumstances mention anything about SA, even if they ask. Your issues have nothing to do with them until they start interfering with your performance. If you feel yourself giving off an SA vibe, I smile and make a comment about being a teensi bit nervous and then carry on with it. They probably expect some wobbles from their interviewees anyway. Very best wishes for tomorrow. You're unstoppable. Let us know how it goes.
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Old 10-30-2010
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Lol it took me a while to find this thread. Page 3 allready, this forum is so active!

So yesterday i had my job interview and what i didnt mention before was that i also had an intake at the psychiatrist earlier that same day. Very ironic since i have been sitting at home doing nothing for 2 months and now i have two very important appointments on the same day. But fortunaly it was possible to go to both, because i didnt want to reschedual any of those.

Like i said in my opening post, somehow i wasn't that nervous about my job interview and i was actually looking forward to my intake. I have been to an psychologist before and know that its actually nice to be able to talk to someone who understands you. But despite that, when i was lying in my bed the night before the nerves kicked in and i
slept only 3 hours. I dont know why but i often get nervous in bed. However i woke up tired but without nerves. My intake went well. I liked my psychiatrist allot. This actually helped me so i had the chance to "warm up" for my interview.

After the intake i went home and changed into my "pre-planned interview outfit" in which i felt confident. Not a full suit because its a healthcare organisation (was kind of a gamble but turned out to be a good one). When it was time to go i started to get a little more nervous than before, but i actually thought about what you (mmmm thank you so much) said. I will be fine because i have travelled to lots of places, why would i be nervous. This helped me allot and settled me down. While sitting in the bus on my way over there i could feel that i didnt sleep well that night. Also the heating was set very high so i was glad to get out. It still was quite a hike to get to the building so i was able to cool of a bit. When i finally reached my destination i walked inside and the desk clerk told me to sit down and wait for the woman who was going to interview me. I had not been this nervous today because i was sitting at a table where allot of people were passing by (and it was almost time), but i was surprised how good i felt considering the circumstance.

10 minutes late she finally came to pick me up. She was so nice (around 40 years old, smiling allot and very outgoing) and made me feel comfortable instantly. She said that she loved my name (haha) and also the village i grew up in. When i told her it was quite a hike from the busstop to the building we had a laugh, because it turned out i took the wrong bus. The other busline stops right in front haha. When the actual interview started she asked almost all the questions i was expecting, so i was able to answer those without any trouble and she seemed happy with my answers. After a while she asked me if i had more applications running. I said no and told her this was my first job interview. She seemed very surprised and said that i was doing very well. At the same time i was getting more confident by the second and i felt this job was mine to take. At the end she told me there were 2 other people in the running, but with all the questions she asked about when i could start and if i was willing to work there till july, she made me feel that i was candidate number 1. Next week they will contact me if i got the job or not. But honestly i dont even care. The interview went so well and i was able to handle my anxious thoughts. Thats a victory itself

After i left it felt if i was on drugs. I was so happy! In the bus on my way home i got a phonecall (which is very rare) and i took it. Usually when somebody calls me and there are other people around i dont answer because of my anxiety, but now i was able to have a normal conversation. Thats how happy and confident i was! I cant exactly tell you why but lately i feel really good. Actually since i joined this forum. My way of thinking is different. Allot less negative and i care less about what people might think of me. I think reading threads of other people and getting very helpfull replies really made a difference!

I'm sorry for this ridiculously long post but im still high (and dont have many other people to tell this story too haha)

Last edited by Acegame; 10-30-2010 at 09:46 AM.
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Old 10-30-2010
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That's so awesome!!! Good luck on your first day
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Old 10-30-2010
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excercise beforehand
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Old 10-30-2010
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Well done! So proud of you.
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Old 10-30-2010
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Actually this advertisement appears on this screen:

"Interview Training Gain Interview Experience Customised mock job interviews www.interviewtraining.com.au"
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Excellent news. Nice one dude.
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Old 10-31-2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hoddesdon View Post
Actually this advertisement appears on this screen:

"Interview Training Gain Interview Experience Customised mock job interviews www.interviewtraining.com.au"
Lol!! You would almost think that isnt a coincidence

Thanks for all the nice reactions! I'll let you know if i got the job.
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Old 11-02-2010
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Just got a call and i got the job!! Really a confidence booster, eventhough im overqualified for this job. But i think im more scared than happy at the moment because i start monday Really fearing my first days. On the other hand im very happy to finally be doing something.

They told me ill be working on a compartment with 11 people (im anxious about this, im better in a group of 3/4 people). One person will train me and show me the way in the beginning. I met her allready and she is very nice. Although I got the impression she is a little shy and a bit socially anxious as well. Not sure if that is ideal for me but we'll see.

Man im allready worrying about all kinds of stuff which has nothing to do with my actual job! The breaks, all my colleagues, my cloths, etc. Grrr i think im just gonna try to focus on the job....
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Really great news!

Congrats
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Old 11-02-2010
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WOW!! Congratulations!!

This is soo good to hear!!

RELAX, it'll go well!! The breaks will go fine, especially if others are a little bit shy/anxious too.. I find it real easy to talk to people like that.. Got some really good friends who are also a bit shy/anxious.. You will also have stuff to talk about and ask about as you are still new.. Just get basic info about the co-workers, where they are from, how long they've worked there etc. and ask about any aspects of the job or such.. You'll see which ones look friendly and you can talk to them more, in breaks or when working together.. It's easier to talk when working together on something..
You can also go take a walk to the park or to get lunch, or offer to get anyone a sandwich or something if you go to the shop or cafeteria.. (depends how your meals are organized) You can meet some really nice people at work...

Just remember you're at work and be professional, rather give less personal info and just keep it at a general chat, keep things at a level you'd be comfortable anyone, even the bosses to hear..

11 is still better than a 100+ co-workers or such!
As for clothes: just observe the others and sort of adapt, especially look at those you and others respect and are in a similar position as you, or of similar age.. Err on the side of 'overdressed' if in doubt..

And yup, it's better to just focus on the job.. Doing well is a priority and then clothes etc won't matter so much..
It is normal to be a bit anxious, many people told me they were too.. and they still did well on the job!!

It's great you have someone to show you around! Take notes or maybe even record any of the important stuff on a mini mp3 recorder or your phone... (if you have any learning difficulties or lots of info to remember..)

This is soo exciting!! Do keep us updated how it goes!
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Old 11-02-2010
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Thanks!! Whoa, im a little proud of myself. My first job interview ever and i got it

On the other hand im not sure this is the right path for me. Its certainly not the field i want to end up in. I feel im taking the easy road by using my degree eventhough thats not where my hart lies. But i guess that is why i wanted a temporary job (ends in july), to have some time to search for what i really want. And the experience i get is nice.

And Feathers, you are right. The job is my priority. Sometimes when i meet new people i feel pressured to talk which makes me say stupid things. But like you said, im gonna try to stay professional and not say to much about myself in the beginning.

Btw, i said compartment, but i ment the room where ill be working contains 11 poeple. The compartment is way bigger. But anyway, its a nice practice regarding exposure. And so are the breaks (which scare me the most). Try to see it as a challenge.

And yea im very glad there is someone who will show me the way. She is someone who will do her very best to teach me well, im quite sure of that.

Thanks for your advice and i certainly will keep you posted
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I am happy for you, it is a hard thing to go to a job interview for someone with SA.I am over qualified but but failed on interviews because of this disease.

Please Pray for me.
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Old 11-10-2010
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My first two days at my new job are a fact! Thankfully now i have a day off and can breathe a little... I had so much trouble sleeping last couple a days that i'm exhausted right now. But thank god that tonight i was able to sleep for 8 hours (even set my alarm because i need to get used to my new "sleepschedual" otherwise i probably would be still sleeping right now).

Anyway i promised to update you on how my first days would be. A lot of mixed feelings to be honest. I'll try to give you an impression of how i experienced my first days and describe the environment im in.

When i came in the woman who took the job interview (my boss) showed me around and introduced me to my new collegues. This is something that always scares me, but i was able to keep my anxiety under control and it went fine. Actually meeting new people is getting easier for me lately.

After my introduction she showed me to my desk and left me with my new roommates. I'm sitting in a room with 4 other people, but it's connected to another room with another 4 people. Opposed to me sits the woman who is supposed to show me around. She appeared to be the total opposite of what i thought in the beginning. She is not socially anxious at all. At least not at work. There's also one intern who also helps me who i really like and find easy to talk to. Then there is another guy who is very outgoing but in such a nice way. So far there are no problems. But besides me sits a girl who is around my age and very nice as well. Being around women my age always is a little hard for me. Eventhough im not really atrackted to her, i find it hard to talk to or around her. I think that is because she is very confident and a little distant to me compared to the others. Only her being there can make me feel anxious. In the room attached to mine are sitting 3 older women and a girl my age. Also very nice. But the one my age is a big problem for me, because she is pretty gorgeous. Like the other girl she acts distant (more than the other one) which makes me feel uneasy. So having these two girls around makes me feel very uncomfortable.

Actually now i realise these kind of situations hit the core of my problems. This is where it all started. Me not being able to be myself in situations where there are poeple around that make me feel uncomfortable. Over the years (probably caused by aviodant behaviour) more and more people made me uncomfortable and i started to lose all my selfconfidence, because i made a fool out of myself every time being in these situations. I think all my other problems (like making friends, being overconscious the way i look or act, ) now are the result of this. It has changed me into a completely different person i am now.

Sorry for the interruption, but i felt i had to write this down So because im not feeling very comfortable there, i'm a little quiet. I talk, but only when i'm asked something or when i feel i have to say something. Sometimes i can get overtalketive in these situations and make a complete fool out of myself, but i chose not to this time. I feel good about the way im handling it right now. Eventually i hope to get more at ease and start to talk more. But for now i try to focus on the job.

Yesterday (my second day) was actually much harder than the first. The night before i slept only 1 hour all together so from the start i was tired and even was a little nauseous. I didn't feel like talking much and felt some depressive thoughts comming up. So i decided not to say to much and blame my depressive thoughts on my lack of sleep.

But at the end of the day my boss asked me if i liked it to be working there (with a concerned expression on her face). Well now ofc i'm not having fun, but thats just because these are the circumstances i have trouble with the most. But it's not so cool that apparently i radiate some vibe that i'm not having fun which im so much trying to cover up. And how on earth do you reply to this. I can't say that im social phobic (well i can, but i don't think that is a smart thing to do and evenso i don't think i would dare). I got away with it by saying that i had trouble sleeping lately and it being my first days there, but thats not something i can keep saying obviously. So now i feel pressured to be more socially active and pretend to be happy all the time. Which makes me ALLOT more anxious. These kind of small remarks can get me so down...

So in the end i'm happy the way i handled my first days (considering the circumstances), but i'm feeling far from comfortable right now and so far the job is kind of dull. I'm trying to see it as a good trainingground to work on my social skills (my therapy starts soon)and not let it get to me to much. It's just a temporary job and my biggest goal is getting over my anxiety anyway....

Quote:
I am happy for you, it is a hard thing to go to a job interview for someone with SA.I am over qualified but but failed on interviews because of this disease.

Please Pray for me.
Thanks! In the end it wasn't so hard. You should keep in mind that when the interview would be a disaster it doesn't matter. If you don't get the job, you will never have to see those people anyway and try again somewhere else. That thought helped me be less anxious. But i will pray for you

Last edited by Acegame; 11-10-2010 at 06:20 PM.
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