It must be love shyness

jazy

Active member
I myself have always been in a safe haven when it comes to love because I’ve never really experienced real love. I’ve always been shot down by women whether it was that they couldn’t be seen with someone
like me who wasn’t popular and viewed by others as a loser, to laughing in my face when I asked them out, looking me up and down and saying no because I’m ugly, saying they wanted to go out but instead ditched me and laughed about it. Then I remember someone saying to me that it’s probably because I as a person have nothing to offer to anyone and they can see that. How can they see that from me saying hi and asking them out? It was at that point that I give up one ever finding love and decided to stay single forever. Some days it hurts some days it doesn’t, but I wonder which one is worse the pain of not being loved, or never finding love, and being alone the rest of your life? Or the pain of being with someone only to lose them when the relationship doesn’t work out? I guess as long as we have our own safe haven to protect us. We will all be ok. Well some of us. :(

But I think love shy has something to do with it too, and that I became love shy from all the rejection I took from women, and now protect myself from it. I am 25 years old, never had a girlfriend, a virgin, and I have nothing to offer. Sometimes I wonder If ending it all would make it better. To find the exit that would help me escape the pain. :(
 

CZi

Well-known member
I myself have always been in a safe haven when it comes to love because I’ve never really experienced real love. I’ve always been shot down by women whether it was that they couldn’t be seen with someone
like me who wasn’t popular and viewed by others as a loser, to laughing in my face when I asked them out, looking me up and down and saying no because I’m ugly, saying they wanted to go out but instead ditched me and laughed about it. Then I remember someone saying to me that it’s probably because I as a person have nothing to offer to anyone and they can see that. How can they see that from me saying hi and asking them out? It was at that point that I give up one ever finding love and decided to stay single forever. Some days it hurts some days it doesn’t, but I wonder which one is worse the pain of not being loved, or never finding love, and being alone the rest of your life? Or the pain of being with someone only to lose them when the relationship doesn’t work out? I guess as long as we have our own safe haven to protect us. We will all be ok. Well some of us. :(

But I think love shy has something to do with it too, and that I became love shy from all the rejection I took from women, and now protect myself from it. I am 25 years old, never had a girlfriend, a virgin, and I have nothing to offer. Sometimes I wonder If ending it all would make it better. To find the exit that would help me escape the pain. :(

Suicide is not the answer you're looking for... *Jedi Mind Trick* Seriously though, it's not. :) Not only would you deprive yourself of the best experience ever (Life) you would also hurt all those around you, namely parents/relatives.

Sadly, the world is a pretty shallow place, but don't fret it does have a deep end. Sometimes you just have to wade a bit to get there. Have you talked to any therapists or family members about this?
 

jazy

Active member
Suicide is not the answer you're looking for... *Jedi Mind Trick* Seriously though, it's not. Not only would you deprive yourself of the best experience ever (Life) you would also hurt all those around you, namely parents/relatives.

Sadly, the world is a pretty shallow place, but don't fret it does have a deep end. Sometimes you just have to wade a bit to get there. Have you talked to any therapists or family members about this?

No, My mom doesn't care about living anymore herself, and my dad is an ******* to me. I don't want to go to a therapist and be put on medication. I've heard from some people that therapists don't really help you, and it's a waste of time & money. I just stopped caring along time ago.
 

Mickery

Well-known member
Then you should stick around to hear from some people that therapists do really help you, it's not a waste of time and money.
 

Waybuloo

Well-known member
I feel that I am love shy too but I've always managed to have something going on in my life to occupy my energies, like studying towards a degree or one of many temp jobs.

Just seeing you describe your past experiences including someone who said you appear to have nothing to offer, I am inclined to think they are pretty shallow people, and also that they are probably high school girls with working class 'keeping up with the joneses' mentality running through their families. I would never say to anyone 'you have nothing to offer to anyone' , but I might think that if:

a) I know all of their past history, personality, thoughts, intentions and ambitions, and I need to kick them up the ass to reform themselves

b) I think that all people are shallow and all women go after alpha male a holes

There are women out there who aren't shallow and who don't doll themselves up to attract the a holes either. I'm sure a lot of girls on this site fit that description. Where I live women just dress casually, don't wear much makeup, a lot of them are chubby too without being a slob. I see women and men of all shapes and sizes being together. I've also known of men without jobs or good morals get gfs. You don't have to perfect to find love, in fact true love occurs when they love you for the imperfections.
 

CR.O

Active member
well don't think about that!! you'll find the one that wouldn't see you in that side.
 
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TheSanctuarian

Well-known member
I don't want to go to a therapist and be put on medication. I've heard from some people that therapists don't really help you, and it's a waste of time & money. I just stopped caring along time ago.

Therapists, be they Psychologists or Councillors cannot give you medication as they are not trained to be doctors, but instead rely on "talking cures". even if you have to visit a Psychiatrist (usually M.D, Ph.D) will only prescribe medication if you require them. very rarely will they give the to you if you don't want them.
 

emre43

Well-known member
I see a therapist and the only thing that I am disappointed about is that I didn't start seeing them earlier. I would recommend it to anyone.
 

jazy

Active member
Thank you to everyone for being so kind to me. I was expecting someone to pick on me for what I posted on here.

I'm sorry, I feel so stupid for not mentioning this before. Even If I did consider going to see a therapist. I can't afford one because I am unemployed and have no job. And I can never keep one because I'm a quiet person which from what I've read on other posts that we are always the easy targets for people that like to made fun of us because we don't talk a lot, and they don't understand what it's like for us to feel this way. To suffer with Love Shyness, SA, Shyness etc.

I really wish stay at home jobs were legit instead of being complete scams. I would love to work at home.
 
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