It hurts to be excluded

Here I am sitting in my office pondering life. My co-workers just got back from lunch at the restaurant across the street. I ate my lunch at my desk and continued working. I don't get invited and it's obvious they go out of their way to exclude me. I guess, because I am quiet, they feel that I don't add anything to the conversations and that I am boring.

Once we are working, they never hesitate to ask for information from me to make themselves look good. At these times I am a "great guy" and a "team player" I put up with it because, deep down, I want them to like me and include me. It never happens though. I'm so tired of being a doormat, but I don't know what to do? I feel like running away, but I've found out long ago that you can't run away from this horrible condition. I'm so tired of the way my life is, that I'm numb. I feel alien, like there is something very horribly wrong with me.

Does anyone have SA in their dreams? I don't. In my dreams I am SA free, confident, wise, popular and treated with respect. I have tons of friends, a great sense of humor and I always say the right things and people love me. I am a totally different person. Many times I get depressed when I wake up to find out it's just a dream.

Tim001 said:

Many times I get depressed when I wake up to find out it's just a dream.

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I hate to wake up and find out it was all a dream especially when it feels so real.


As for the work situation,do what i do sometimes i give out the wrong advice/answers :lol: i get undermind at work quite alot for example the gaffers will ask my advice on something and then they will go ask someone else just to verify what i said was right :roll:

I know how you feel. I get excluded a lot too at school. I am a really quiet person as well but would love to get out and do some thing once in awhile. I mean, I am more comfortable at home nowadays but I feel majorly left out and unwanted. I just wish that I did not feel so invisible. I ponder life as well by the way. In fact I think about it too much some times.

I was always excluded as a kid, my brother and mates never wanted to play with me they would always run away and hide from me this is when i was roughly between 7 and 12 that i can remeber.Since that age i have never been excluded and i never put myself in a situation that it can happen :?

I don't think that your coworkers dislike you. Sounds like they have no reason to dislike you. But on the other hand, it might be impossible for them to like you yet because SP's can be intimidating. Maybe your shyness comes off differently to them. Maybe they think you are stuck up or have no interest in them. Maybe they want to know you but don't know how. Even though I am SA, I tend to avoid people who don't speak. I feel like they are criticizing me in their mind. Its as if I don't want to open up to them because I know they won't open up to me, and then I am feeling like the idiot if I do.

Angie_05 said:

I don't think that your coworkers dislike you. Sounds like they have no reason to dislike you. But on the other hand, it might be impossible for them to like you yet because SP's can be intimidating. Maybe your shyness comes off differently to them. Maybe they think you are stuck up or have no interest in them. Maybe they want to know you but don't know how. Even though I am SA, I tend to avoid people who don't speak. I feel like they are criticizing me in their mind. Its as if I don't want to open up to them because I know they won't open up to me, and then I am feeling like the idiot if I do.

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I am sometimes this same way, Angie. It is being hypocritical, I know. Sometimes, I find myself saying "she/he never talks, he's too quiet"..yet I am like that so much of the time...depends on where I am/the situation.

But maybe you should try to make yourself more approachable and be more open to your coworkers.
I often find that I can be easily walked on, and I think that would happen with people with SA a lot

Excluded.....

Yup, I too can understand how that feels...that was how I spent most of my elementary & high school days So glad they are now over Maybe, u could consider switching jobs? While it might not be a bed of roses even if you change jobs, at least maybe u can feel somewhat better?

In my dreams I am still socially inept. I wake up frustrated that even in my dreams I cannot go as far as I would hope to. It's bizarre.

Tim001 said:

Does anyone have SA in their dreams?

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I'm always the same in my dreams as in my reality. Recently they consist of me being dragged back into a school environment (school was the start of my probs and the dragging at age 9 was quite literal) but at the age I am now. Even in my dreams I have no control over my life - well the ones I remember at least 8O Actually that statement is wrong.
I am the one with control over my life, I've just got to get myself back on track to be able to put it into practice