Is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all

LookingForward

LookingForward

Well-known member
In emmense pain at the moment that I can't shake because my marriage has broken up recently with a women I love with every beat of my heart.
Wondering what other people with SAD feel about whether falling in love is worth the pain. Sometimes I wish I had never met her because I don't know how much of this pain I can endure, but then I remember all the good times we had and how good I felt back then...

Right now I think if I had the choice I would have my memory wiped so it would be like we had never met, it's just too much to bear...
 
NinjaLikesToast

NinjaLikesToast

Well-known member
I think we all have this feeling when we loose someone we love. I had a similar experience (was not married, though) and I am still trying to fully move on after almost 3 years now. It's not easy, but a necessary step to being happy again.
 
Felgen

Felgen

Well-known member
A divorce is never easy, and there are plenty of people who have felt exactly the same thing. It's natural to feel sad in this situation, but if it makes you feel any better, the fact that someone already has loved you means that someone can love you again.
 
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M

mads

Well-known member
LookingForward said:
In emmense pain at the moment that I can't shake because my marriage has broken up recently with a women I love with every beat of my heart.
Wondering what other people with SAD feel about whether falling in love is worth the pain. Sometimes I wish I had never met her because I don't know how much of this pain I can endure, but then I remember all the good times we had and how good I felt back then...

Right now I think if I had the choice I would have my memory wiped so it would be like we had never met, it's just too much to bear...
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Sorry to hear that buddy.

But you are doing the right thing, remembering all the good things you had together. That is that most important. The next days, weeks, months will be terrible for you as they will for all others who break up but in the end I hope you willl be happy again but right now, remember it is ok to be sad, it is ok to be mad, it is ok to have all these feelings you have.
 
NathanielWingatePeaslee

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
LookingForward said:
In emmense pain at the moment that I can't shake because my marriage has broken up recently with a women I love with every beat of my heart.
Wondering what other people with SAD feel about whether falling in love is worth the pain. Sometimes I wish I had never met her because I don't know how much of this pain I can endure, but then I remember all the good times we had and how good I felt back then...

Right now I think if I had the choice I would have my memory wiped so it would be like we had never met, it's just too much to bear...
Click to expand...
Yes. It is absolutely better to have loved and lost. The pain will fade given enough time. And besides the low you're in now, you had a serious high.

These things are better than to know nothing but regret for not having tried, envy of those who currently have love, emptiness of never having known love.
 
Sial Axetder

Sial Axetder

1
Never have loved at all. Sounds cold. Have seen what can happen, do not want. Reading only intensifies not wanting.

Minor revelation: Providing an explanation to some reactions to certain situations. Thoughtfully fascinating.
 
LookingForward

LookingForward

Well-known member
Felgen said:
the fact that someone already has loved you means that someone can love you again.
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Thank you, just the kind of uplifting thought that I needed... hadn't considered things that way... I guess when all else fails; hope is the one thing we need to hold to.
 
LookingForward

LookingForward

Well-known member
mads said:
Sorry to hear that buddy.

But you are doing the right thing, remembering all the good things you had together. That is that most important. The next days, weeks, months will be terrible for you as they will for all others who break up but in the end I hope you willl be happy again but right now, remember it is ok to be sad, it is ok to be mad, it is ok to have all these feelings you have.
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Thanks mads, I appreciate the support, the encouragement helps a lot...
 
Avarak

Avarak

Member
I think it's way better to have never loved at all, as far as I can tell it's impossible to get over someone.
 
Sial Axetder

Sial Axetder

1
NathanielWingatePeaslee said:
Yes. It is absolutely better to have loved and lost. The pain will fade given enough time. And besides the low you're in now, you had a serious high.

These things are better than to know nothing but regret for not having tried, envy of those who currently have love, emptiness of never having known love.
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Have no regrets. No envy. Emptiness, not sure what that is. Is this unusual? May change, may not. From seeing, hearing, watching my thoughts are the other way.
 
coyote

coyote

Well-known member
LookingForward said:
In emmense pain at the moment that I can't shake because my marriage has broken up recently with a women I love with every beat of my heart.
Wondering what other people with SAD feel about whether falling in love is worth the pain. Sometimes I wish I had never met her because I don't know how much of this pain I can endure, but then I remember all the good times we had and how good I felt back then...

Right now I think if I had the choice I would have my memory wiped so it would be like we had never met, it's just too much to bear...
Click to expand...

I've been through the exact same thing.

I'm still trying to get over the pain. Perhaps I never will.

I mostly just try to forget.
 
mrb

mrb

Well-known member
better to have loved and lost , iv been there me and my wife broke up years ago , were sort of freinds now , hopefully you and your ex will become freinds over time , i know at mo your going through a hard time , but time does heal all wounds .... just give it time the pain will ease , you fell in love once , you can do it again ...
 
LookingForward

LookingForward

Well-known member
Thanks mrb and Malady for the words of wisdom, its what I need to keep me floating. I can't afford to let this break me and sink too far into the depths, I have an amazing beautiful 20 month old daughter, the light in my life, who needs me... she's the meaning of my life and my reason to keep going.
 
mrb

mrb

Well-known member
LookingForward said:
Thanks mrb and Malady for the words of wisdom, its what I need to keep me floating. I can't afford to let this break me and sink too far into the depths, I have an amazing beautiful 20 month old daughter, the light in my life, who needs me... she's the meaning of my life and my reason to keep going.
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well dude same as me then , my kids got me through some of the darkest hours of my life ;) shes 20 months old you say :) she will need her dad in years to come , and that me old mate is something to look forward to , but word of warning lol when shes a teenager she wants expensive stuff all the time , it will be like dad , you know you love me dad flutter of the eyes , can you buy me this dress , or these shoes , or lend me some money to go out with my freinds , god help you lolzzz .... id start saving if i was you ... joking apart , give her love understanding , if shes having a bad time be there for her , its what dads are for mate , and you me old mate are a dad :D , so out of the bad comes a good , a daughter , hmmm your lucky mate you only have one , iv got 3 , so its 3 times like dad dad i need this i need that ? daughters eh lolzzz hmmm well shes only 20 months old now but lol , you wait you just wait lol
 
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Waybuloo

Waybuloo

Well-known member
I think it is worth living this life to experience that sort of connection with someone in your lifetime. That is what being human is about. I would endure the pain for that.
 
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