greggy
Well-known member
Hey welcome, what's a bag lady? Sorry you feel like this
Is anyone afraid that they alone forever?
- Thread starter Ben_Rowland
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Hey welcome, what's a bag lady? Sorry you feel like this
NamiraWilhelm
Well-known member
What I dislike most about this is the jealousy. Such a hideous feeling. I find it hard to be happy for friends who are all loved up and settled and that's awfully petty of me.
greggy
Well-known member
Yes im ashamed to say i do too, i start to dislike my friends, i turn off any movie that's has the boy meets girl plot, it upsets me
Argentum
Well-known member
More numbly confused for me, but I hear of this a lot.
I don't have any friends to be jealous of, but it's hard watching people enjoy themselves during the darker moments. There's a distinct feeling of being from another world and of looking at something I can never have, like when I was a little kid who'd play at friends' houses near the holidays and then get out of their way for their Christmas dinner to go back to my dysfunctional family. Sometimes when it was just a private thing for their family and not a holiday (like relatives visiting), it was hard to leave in the evenings knowing I'd go back to parents who either would be buried in their work or absent entirely while they all sat around the table and laughed. They were generous about letting me spend a lot of time with them, but it was kind of an unspoken agreement that I wasn't actually part of the family or invited to those things.
It's so easy for some people. They're literally born into good families, and if they follow cliche advice they get results. I work off common interests, give others space to talk, and invite people out and... they avoid me. My entire life has been self-improvement, and I still don't have what they just reached out and grabbed out of the world. The family is only just beginning to come together again, and there's not a single person I could call for lunch who isn't related to me.
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Labyrinthine
Well-known member
I'm to the point where I can't help but feel I will be forever alone. My future self will probably be an insane workaholic, with a lot of dogs. Nothing against cats.
NamiraWilhelm
Well-known member
So true. So often certain people make criticisms regarding my anxiety/low confidence and all I can say is, 'Can't you just be grateful for the opportunities you've had in life instead of making me feel bad that I didn't get the same, something that was out of my control?'
Just spotted your profile pic. At least we have Mass Effect :thumbup:
onehandclapping
Well-known member
in some ways I have come to accept it. the prospect is easier to deal with now I realise there isn't much chance of it changing. it doesn't need to be the same for you, we all are different people so don't accept the situation if you feel you have a chance to change it.
it still doesn't mean I find the situation something I am overjoyed about, but I feel in regards to mental health I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. plus I really enjoy spending time alone, I feel grateful in some regards that I get enjoyment out of time alone.
it still doesn't mean I find the situation something I am overjoyed about, but I feel in regards to mental health I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. plus I really enjoy spending time alone, I feel grateful in some regards that I get enjoyment out of time alone.
Richey
Well-known member
I think this all comes down to luck, environments growing up and other things getting in the way. Example. Problems I've noticed getting in the way...
- lacking in social energy which perpetuates shyness..
- family can be quite depressing to be around, never made one joke or attempt at humour whilst I was growing up, miserable.
- college was a very gloomy place, run down building, lots of bullies, bizarre place..
- work environments so far have been filled with self serving narcissists, so not much chance of meeting a nice person that I can just get along with without all the office politics....
- I am not perfect physically therefore I magnify physical issues as big problems and can't imagine sharing my body with someone else, unless it's kissing etc...
- last three dates ended up already being in relationships, so I was being used and lied to.
These issues seemed to have lead to a real struggle with meeting potential dates. Though I suspect the problem is still my lack of confidence.
- lacking in social energy which perpetuates shyness..
- family can be quite depressing to be around, never made one joke or attempt at humour whilst I was growing up, miserable.
- college was a very gloomy place, run down building, lots of bullies, bizarre place..
- work environments so far have been filled with self serving narcissists, so not much chance of meeting a nice person that I can just get along with without all the office politics....
- I am not perfect physically therefore I magnify physical issues as big problems and can't imagine sharing my body with someone else, unless it's kissing etc...
- last three dates ended up already being in relationships, so I was being used and lied to.
These issues seemed to have lead to a real struggle with meeting potential dates. Though I suspect the problem is still my lack of confidence.
THeCARS1979
Well-known member
Yes , just yes
FlashFlashFlash
Member
Yeah, I am. I have a couple really good friends, so I don't really feel lonely, ever, despite being single for the last four years. but in the next year I may end up having to move for work which scares the hell out of me. If that happens I'll end up having to meet all new people and I don't even know how to meet people. Scary!
ImNotMyIllness
Well-known member
It's very possible but I'm going to do try my best to prevent it.
NamiraWilhelm
Well-known member
Romance just seems to be an impossibility for me. The men I've encountered just can't handle the anxiety. I explain myself the best I can, and in the early days they insist they can handle that, that they really care etc. Then the anxiety presents itself and they dump me. Or they can't handle the depressive bouts, or the fact I can be co dependant, Which means I often go out with anyone just because they've shown me some attention! I've been out with some truly awful people. But some were lovely, like my last boyfriend. But I made it too hard and he left me. I don't blame them, I doubt I'd want to be with me.
I've told myself to stay single until I get better to avoid this cycle but it's freaking hard. Romantic relationships are basically my only source of love.
I've told myself to stay single until I get better to avoid this cycle but it's freaking hard. Romantic relationships are basically my only source of love.
mg:
I think about this all the time and it scares me. I get very depressed and have thought about suicide. The thought of being alone and having no one to care for me in my old age and live a life of loneliness as an old man scares me to death. I am so afraid of talking to people and trying to make friends. I don't have friends and I don't have social skills. I don't know how to make small talk and I analyze everything I say before and after I say it. I just feel like I am too damaged to ever be normal or cured by therapy or meds and it's best if I just call it quits now. I don't want to end my life but there are times I don't see a preferred alternative future. Recently, I have found alcohol and it is the only thing that helps. My father died of his alcoholism so I swore I would never be like him because he was so abusive but I think that's the only way I can venture out into the world of the living. I am afraid of becoming an alcoholic though so I don't know what to do.