Intrusive thoughts :(

Hey everyone i don't know wither its OCD or not but for the past few months i've been having intrusive thoughts since March 2010 i can recall. I have very graphic sexual, violent, suicidal, incest, homosexual, and pedo thoughts among others . It makes me depressed and anxious cause i know that i would never do those things to anyone or anything. I can't commit violence i'm a pacifist and i would rather die a million horrible deaths then do any of those things. I know i'm not a homosexual as well because i've always liked women and i've only wanked to straight porn. The recurring thoughts of being gay scare me and sometimes make me afraid to hang out with my mates, the pedo thoughts scare me as well and i'm afraid to be next to children or see them in TV/internet, the incest, violent, and sexual thoughts scare me alot and i know i'd never do this stuff to people so why does it happen to me? Sometimes i feel like its not OCD and what if i act on it. I'm sacred of being a sick mother****er like a pedo, rapist, or a murderer and i'd never harm myself never in a million years i have friends and family who care for me

I used to be a very outgoing person but now i barley go out and decline invitations from my friends cause i'm afraid ill act out on these thoughts.

I'm one of the most creative people in my class i love writing and reading but now i can barley write one story idea or lyrics/poems because of these stupid intrusive thoughts.
I can't remember things such as my past with nostalgia or think about the future cause the thoughts keep popping up and i try to suppress them
Basically i have no life anymore i just bum around all day, and i can't focus on school and my studies.
I want to change this i want to go back to the old me i want to be happy again, i want my creativity back, i want all the thoughts and fears to go away. I'm tired of bumming around and laying down on a bed or on the couch all day i want to hang out with my friends again with no worries.

I want my creativity back
i want to remember my past with smiles and chuckles i want to look towards the future with optimism.

How can i achieve this? How can i enjoy my teenage years my highschool life ain't i a bit young for OCD i'm only 16 (turning 17 on Wedensday) ? and i have ADHD already (Diagnosed with it at age 5)
I don't like Meds that much i'm afraid i take Concerta for my ADHD and i hate the side effects so much i'm going to quit them next school year and try herbal alternatives.
I can't afford to see a therapist she lives 4 hours away from my town and my town has none my friend had to recommend this site for me

What about
Exercise
working out at the local gym
Meditation
Hyponosis
Green tea
Omega Three
Sleeping early
Salt baths
hanging out with my friends more often and spending more time with my family.
How do they sound and do they work out????
I'm a coffee addict do i need to quit..
And if i do have OCD how can i manage it along with ADHD without having to constantly reassure myself, or change the thoughts, slap a rubber band on my wrist so hard it turns red, or washing my hands and face over 10 times a day.
How can i focus in school?
Any thoughts or suggestions would be great please help me i'm going over the edge i'm losing my sanity (
Thanks for your time.

Sorry for the long message i just felt i needed to get all this out before i explode.

Anyways do OCD people need to go on a diet as well and limit their caffine/ sugar intake

What about alcohol, marijuana, and cigs do i have to give those up
Should i tell my friends and parents i feel like i'm hiding a dreaded secret from them yet i'm afraid how they will react and would they think of me being a sick mother****er.

If i need to go on a diet what foods should i eat
Should i have an organized schedule and try to pursue my passions for history, music, sports, writing/acting.
What are some good distractions to keep the thoughts away.
What should i do? come on i need advice i just want to live my life to the fullest and be the best i can be and find hope and optimism in life i want to get my groove back.

i dont know if i read your msg correctly but i get the impression your quite hyperactive, i think you should try and calm yourself down as it will help you to assess your thoughts more clearly. im not a doctor but i think it would be a good idea to try self therapy seeing as you cant afford a therapist, theres alot of good books you can read, im currently reading 'dying of embarressment' but i posted a thread recently about books on sa and theres a few more suggestions on there. hope this helps

Johnny Ringo,

I have heard that changing some diet factors can help OCD. Also sometimes medications can trigger or intensify symptoms.

I have gone through Cognitive Behavior Therapy. You learn how to analyze your thoughts by breaking them down and seeing them for what they really are. This is the workbook The feeling good handbook [Book]

OCD diet info:

Natural Treatments for Anxiety & OCD- Free Article

I can't find anything else right now, but if I come across something else I'll be sure to send it your way

Hey man,
See alot of other ppl prolly get those kinda thoughts too...even i get some thoughts like that sometimes but we kno its wrong nd thts what makes it right...just try to focus on other fun interesting good things when such thoughts fill up ur mind to make them go away.

Here is a good article on it OCD Intrusive thoughts

Johnny Ringo said:

Sorry for the long message i just felt i needed to get all this out before i explode.

Anyways do OCD people need to go on a diet as well and limit their caffine/ sugar intake

What about alcohol, marijuana, and cigs do i have to give those up
Should i tell my friends and parents i feel like i'm hiding a dreaded secret from them yet i'm afraid how they will react and would they think of me being a sick mother****er.

If i need to go on a diet what foods should i eat
Should i have an organized schedule and try to pursue my passions for history, music, sports, writing/acting.
What are some good distractions to keep the thoughts away.
What should i do? come on i need advice i just want to live my life to the fullest and be the best i can be and find hope and optimism in life i want to get my groove back.

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Personally, I wouldn't go nto details about the content of your thoughts with ppl except your doctor/therapist or ppl familiar with ocd. If ppl ask just say u have obsessive thoughts from ocd.

Also you do not need a special diet for ocd and coffee, sugar etc is fine. Be aware of how alcohol and marijuana affect you, if they make it worse then stop. Smoking and drinking heavily is not healthy for you anyway and should be avoided.

Working out is good and will often help you since doing so releases neurochemicals that help you feel better and overcome anxiety (people with ocd have a shortage of these chemicals and thats why they take SSRI meds)

I have intrusive thoughts at least everyday but lately they've been repeating themselves in my head, numerous times. I tried nipping them, zapping them, even distracting myself but they come back again. My intrusive thoughts are very embarrassing. I feel so ashamed of myself for even thinking them. I have a feeling I need to share this somewhere, as a step towards recovery.

One of my thoughts involves butt. I know it's embarassing. When I look at people, my eyes somehow glazed downwards and I find myself looking at somebody's butt. It happened with my parents several times. And sometimes the word "butt" keeps repeating many times in my head. So shameful! I don't know if it's because of JLo or Kim Kardashian's influences, but what I know is that I NEVER intended to think about such thoughts. They just come on their own.

The second category of intrusive thoughts involves having profane words and sometimes sexual words repeated numerous times in my mind. Not by choice of course. It's like my mind has a mind of its own and does whatever it wants at times, if that makes sense. Sometimes my mind puts together words to form highly inappropriate thought forms, like "person's name" + "sex" = -------. As soon as I realize what my mind is doing, I try to nip it in the bud but it just continues.

I have crushes on manga/manhwa characters, and I suspect my obsession with them might have something to do with this. Not really sure.

Anyways, I really need to let this out so that I can begin my step towards recovery.

I just realized why I'm having those intrusive thoughts. I have the utmost respect for this couple and what they do, but some people were egging me on with the married guy. This is just wrong, I can't believe these people would do something like this. For several hours I was in agony because my mind was repeating inappropriate thoughts. Then I realized what had just happened and tried to recover. For the record, I don't touch married guys ever and never will. I am not attracted to married or committed men, in contrast to many women out there.