I'm scared I will never make new friends

I've always been quiet and even before I had SA I had 1 or 2 friends at most. Then I started having anxiety problems and the first two years of high school were horrible. Through therapy and medication I made a couple real good friends and the last 2 years of high school were great times. Then I had a big setback and was so paranoid and full of panic, I couldn't even bare to hang out with my friends anymore. I totally lost it and pretty much became a recluse. I had on and off oddball jobs, no friends, and pretty much gave up on life. About 4 months ago I had a huge panic attack and felt like I was having heart problems. I went to the doctor and she presribed Paxil and a few weeks later I decided to see a therapist.

Well, I feel a little better, but it's really hard to go through life without friends. I'm starting a new job soon and I'm worried about fitting in. I need someone to talk to at my new job or I will go insane! But, here's the problem: I've been so antisocial the last couple years, I'm scared I will have no clue how to make friends. It sounds stupid, but all weekend I was trying to plan how I would go about meeting people and my confidence level is so low, that I started questioning if I will ever meet anyone again.

It's hard enough for non SA people to meet people after school, but add SA to that and I feel hopeless and so alone. Has anyone been in this position before? Do you have any advice? What were your experiences? I'm so sick of my shitty personality when meeting new people. I say hello and then I have nothing to say. I just sit there like a nervous dope and feel awkward. I'm so out of practice socially and it's like I'm setup to fail. It's getting to the point where I'm desperate for someone to talk to and support me. At this point I would be happy with a girlfriend and that's it. Just one at least!!! I've spent all weekend worrying about this and I just feel like I'm damaged goods. I fear everything right now

Most people on this forum can relate to the situation with making friends. It's a problem that bothers me a lot. I don't really know how you overcome it, other than exposure or seeking some type of help.

I have a problem making friends & keeping them, I have had depression before & lost most of my friends at that point.
I always feel like I'm the one that has to make the effort.
I work mostly with females, sometimes some of them go out socially but I don't get an invite.
At work do's no one offers me a lift, even though everyone else is sharing lifts, so that makes me feel bad & I don't want to go.
At training sessions I've offered people lifts but they choose to go with others.
They all seem to be very close with each other, they all have each others mobile numbers & talk to each other on facebook, nobody ever asks for my mobile.
It is very difficult when you have any type of social/anxiety disorder.

spd4 said:

I have a problem making friends & keeping them, I have had depression before & lost most of my friends at that point.
I always feel like I'm the one that has to make the effort.
I work mostly with females, sometimes some of them go out socially but I don't get an invite.
At work do's no one offers me a lift, even though everyone else is sharing lifts, so that makes me feel bad & I don't want to go.
At training sessions I've offered people lifts but they choose to go with others.
They all seem to be very close with each other, they all have each others mobile numbers & talk to each other on facebook, nobody ever asks for my mobile.
It is very difficult when you have any type of social/anxiety disorder.

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That sucks, man. I've actually had the unfortunate opportunity to have co-workers ASK for rides home. Let me tell you, it is annoying as hell. I understand why you'd take it as an offense though. I wouldn't take it personally really, it's just work, as long as they don't actively avoid you, you're fine. I mean work really isn't something where you should expect to be close with all the other ants on the hill. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't.

I know exactly what you mean. Everyone I've ever tried to be friends with has seemed to already have a pretty tight knit group of friends. I'd sit by them at lunch, trying to fit into their group, but they'd all have these inside jokes & talk about people that I didn't know. I couldn't think of anything to say because I couldn't relate to what they were talking about most of the time, so no matter what group of people it was, or how nice they seemed to be, they always ended up forgetting about me.

I've never had a mobile phone because I know no one would ever call me on it, except my dad. I hate when people pull out their phones in front of me & start texting away to a million people. They seem to just take it for granted, the number of friends they have. It makes me feel even more isolated.

littl3misstrange said:

I know exactly what you mean. Everyone I've ever tried to be friends with has seemed to already have a pretty tight knit group of friends. I'd sit by them at lunch, trying to fit into their group, but they'd all have these inside jokes & talk about people that I didn't know. I couldn't think of anything to say because I couldn't relate to what they were talking about most of the time, so no matter what group of people it was, or how nice they seemed to be, they always ended up forgetting about me.

I've never had a mobile phone because I know no one would ever call me on it, except my dad. I hate when people pull out their phones in front of me & start texting away to a million people. They seem to just take it for granted, the number of friends they have. It makes me feel even more isolated.

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Wanna know a secret?

I think that makes you better than them in every way.

i find that seeking out friendships with ppl that have social or other "mental" problems has gained me some friends so called "normal" ppl NEVER understand me thats why im here but think of it this way in a way the more time you spend on here the ppl here become like friends at least your communicating with others that support you in a positive way ~straycat