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Old 03-27-2017
 

Hi guys,

I experienced an unpleasant incident today.

I was in the supermarket buying things and I happened to see my neighbour in the first aisle. He was right in front of me and I smiled and said hello. But he avoided looking at me and walked off. I thought maybe he might have been in his own thoughts (though I was just directly in front of him. It's very obvious he avoided me on purpose.).

Then, I went to another aisle and I happen to face him coincidentally. But he avoided looking at me and walked away again.

To tell the truth, I felt insulted and embarrassed. He and I have said hi to each other many times before. I felt he was quite rude to avoid just like that.

As a person who suffer from SA, I felt very bothered about it. It makes me think like I have done something wrong. I used to avoid social situations due to intense SA in the past. Now, I'm trying to make small steps to improve. But, incidents like this make me lose my self-confidence and become socially anxious again. This incident happened in the morning and I kept ruminating about it until evening. I have been affected to that extent.

I would like to seek advice on how I can handle such situation in the future and also what I can do to block that thought from my mind.

I'm not sure. Next time, I see him I feel like I want to avoid him when I see him in public just like what he did to me today. I mean why should I bother to be polite to a person who is rude. Am I wrong to think like this?
wise_wind is offline  
Old 03-27-2017
FountainandFairfax's Avatar
I remember a time of chaos... ruined dreams... this wasted land.
Elite User
 

I've had that happen to me, with in-laws and people I used to go to school with.

It's very insulting, and my rule is to simply respond in kind.

I wouldn't go out of my way to avoid them next time, I just wouldn't spare them a glance. And if they did try to talk to me, I'd be very short and dismissive.

Who needs people like that clogging up their lives anyway? They basically do you a favor, "Thanks for the heads-up, you flaky douche bag. One less person to be concerned with."
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Old 03-27-2017
Hot_Tamale's Avatar
Intermediate User
 

Could he be ashamed about something he doesn't want you to know about or is going through a personal crisis maybe? I would certainly wait until I had all or mostly all of the pieces of the puzzle in place before I passed judgment on a person.
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Old 03-27-2017
FountainandFairfax's Avatar
I remember a time of chaos... ruined dreams... this wasted land.
Elite User
 

^ Well yeah, if you want to be mature and stuff...



Listen to Tamale, I'm a cynical old recluse.
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Old 03-27-2017
Hot_Tamale's Avatar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FountainandFairfax View Post
^ Well yeah, if you want to be mature and stuff...



Listen to Tamale, I'm a cynical old recluse.
^ Or listen to this guy. I'm a cynical young recluse. If you consider 30 years old "young".
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FountainandFairfax (03-28-2017)
Old 03-30-2017
Sacrament's Avatar
Elite User
 

It's easy to assume things like your neighbor simply not liking you, etc. On the other hand, please consider the possibility that he was having a particularly bad day, or was worried about something in his life.

Next time, if you do notice that he's seen you, try saying hi or just waving to see what happens.
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Old 04-05-2017
 

Thanks for your replies members
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Old 04-06-2017
PugofCrydee's Avatar
Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see.
Elite User
 

Or you could walk around in your underwear with bras tied up over your head.. a big red cape flowing out behind you.. I'm sure he'd see you then..
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Old 04-06-2017
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by PugofCrydee View Post
Or you could walk around in your underwear with bras tied up over your head.. a big red cape flowing out behind you.. I'm sure he'd see you then..
That's very rude of you to say that.
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Old 04-06-2017
PugofCrydee's Avatar
Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see.
Elite User
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by wise_wind View Post
That's very rude of you to say that.
I apologize.

I thought you'd get that I was just mucking around.
PugofCrydee is offline  
Old 04-07-2017
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by wise_wind View Post
Hi guys,

I experienced an unpleasant incident today.

I was in the supermarket buying things and I happened to see my neighbour in the first aisle. He was right in front of me and I smiled and said hello. But he avoided looking at me and walked off. I thought maybe he might have been in his own thoughts (though I was just directly in front of him. It's very obvious he avoided me on purpose.).

Then, I went to another aisle and I happen to face him coincidentally. But he avoided looking at me and walked away again.

To tell the truth, I felt insulted and embarrassed. He and I have said hi to each other many times before. I felt he was quite rude to avoid just like that.

As a person who suffer from SA, I felt very bothered about it. It makes me think like I have done something wrong. I used to avoid social situations due to intense SA in the past. Now, I'm trying to make small steps to improve. But, incidents like this make me lose my self-confidence and become socially anxious again. This incident happened in the morning and I kept ruminating about it until evening. I have been affected to that extent.

I would like to seek advice on how I can handle such situation in the future and also what I can do to block that thought from my mind.

I'm not sure. Next time, I see him I feel like I want to avoid him when I see him in public just like what he did to me today. I mean why should I bother to be polite to a person who is rude. Am I wrong to think like this?
Sometimes other people are not aware of what they are exactly doing especially if they have their own personal issues. Anyway, you don't have to worry about anything, you did the right way. You've showed your respect. Just let it passed for awhile. Sooner or later, you will also get to know the reasons why.
Sonella_Charm is offline  
Old 04-07-2017
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by PugofCrydee View Post
I apologize.

I thought you'd get that I was just mucking around.
It's okay. Peace.
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Old 04-07-2017
Sacrament's Avatar
Elite User
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by wise_wind View Post
That's very rude of you to say that.
I think you left your sense of humor in your other pants.
Sacrament is offline  
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