If you knew more nice people would your SA be gone ?

Bo592

Bo592

Well-known member
I feel this way sometime that this is a big part of my SA . I wish their was better people in this world. It feels pointless to try and win the approval of rude people all the time that I don`t real like to begin with .​
well How do you all feel about this ? If you knew nicer people in this world would your SA be gone ?
 
MoonBoom

MoonBoom

Well-known member
No. I dont want people to be nice. I want them to be real, unforgiving and ruthless. Niceness is overrated. My SA exists because I dont know how to be independent. In fact id go the opposite route and say people being too nice is a big part of why im not independent.
 
coyote

coyote

Well-known member
have you considered the possibility that you have it backwards, and the reason you think that there aren't any nice people is beacuse your social anxiety has prevented you from encountering them?
 
Slytherin88

Slytherin88

Well-known member
I'm very jaded and skeptical of people until I get to know them. I think everyone has an agenda, until I actually see they are just nice.
 
Bo592

Bo592

Well-known member
coyote said:
have you considered the possibility that you have it backwards, and the reason you think that there aren't any nice people is beacuse your social anxiety has prevented you from encountering them?
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Yes, I thought long and hard on this question before I sent it out. I decided I wanted to get everybody else take on this who also has SA. I want to know is it hateful people in our lives that makes us so afraid to go outside and talk to people.
 
vj288

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
I may be looking through rose tinted glasses here, but I would go on to say a majority of the people I know I would define as nice, or in the very least not unkind. I have had some really nice and bubbly people in my life before, and I would say that being around them helped more with depression then SA, for me. At times I've had a very strong sense of self and view on life, and in those times the people around me didn't effect it one way or another, but whenever it was weaker the people around me structured it a little more, and when those people were nice, with a better outlook on life, I felt I fell in line with them a bit. All the SA stuff is all on me, but the people around me can definitely effect mood and life outlook.
 
jigglypuff

jigglypuff

Well-known member
I really don't seem to care much if people are consider nice or mean my anxiety always hits me when there's a group of people around, because of my anxiety it has prevent me from actually meeting nice or mean people....
 
NathanielWingatePeaslee

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
Bo592 said:
I feel this way sometime that this is a big part of my SA . I wish their was better people in this world. It feels pointless to try and win the approval of rude people all the time that I don`t real like to begin with .​
well How do you all feel about this ? If you knew nicer people in this world would your SA be gone ?
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The problem is not the rest of the world. Everyone else is dealing with the same people--but they do not have SA.

A lot of SA is in how you view people--how you interpret and react to what they do. Your whole view of how nice people are is colored by SA.
 
¯

¯\(º_o)/¯

Well-known member
I deal with many many people everyday, and I can honestly say I do not encounter any people that I would not consider nice. Yet my SA is always through the roof, all these nice people and I still can't talk most of them
 
J

jaim38

Well-known member
I think so. I suffered trauma and developed intense fear/sensitivity of people mostly from bullying and bad social experiences. If people were nicer to me and each other, my SA would probably be gone. After all, SA is fear of people.
 
xDreamseller

xDreamseller

Well-known member
MoonBoom said:
No. I dont want people to be nice. I want them to be real, unforgiving and ruthless. Niceness is overrated. My SA exists because I dont know how to be independent. In fact id go the opposite route and say people being too nice is a big part of why im not independent.
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^ This. I hate that my parents are so nice and relaxed about stuff. I don't feel any motivation to make a change ;s
 
Steelsoul

Steelsoul

Well-known member
Not really. Around nice people you can feel comfortable and relax, but can't make your SA gone. You still feel anxious when you come across rude people.
 
Flanscho

Flanscho

Well-known member
Why should random people be more nice to me because of that? Everybody has issues of some sort, and people still ain't nice to each other. Well, some people are always nice, and those are worth befriending.
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
MoonBoom said:
No. I dont want people to be nice. I want them to be real, unforgiving and ruthless. Niceness is overrated. My SA exists because I dont know how to be independent. In fact id go the opposite route and say people being too nice is a big part of why im not independent.
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I would hate this. :eek: But perhaps you can tell people that you want them to be direct with you.

vj288 said:
I may be looking through rose tinted glasses here, but I would go on to say a majority of the people I know I would define as nice, or in the very least not unkind.
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I agree here. Most people are nice, or at least tolerant.
 
hawaiianguy3

hawaiianguy3

Member
Talking to outgoing people helps me a lot. If they start the conversation and keep it going, I'm good. And outgoing people are usually nice. I believe, however, that all people are "nice" in their own minds. I bet people at work don't think I'm nice because I don't really talk to them. But that's because I don't know how. Everyone does or says mean things sometimes but that doesn't make him or her a mean person.

So, I guess my point is that I think all people are nice but it doesn't help my SA. Meeting outgoing people helps.
 
coyote

coyote

Well-known member
girlinthecorner said:
No but it would help with the depression. The way the world is really depresses me.
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depression is an illness caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain

the illness, in turn, affects your thinking, causing you to see the world the way you do

treat the illness, and your world will become a better place
 
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