I was being bullied and I'm still angry.
- Thread starter Scury
- Start date
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
Sounds like she's trying to fit in hard with the males, be accepted by them. So saying things SHE thinks males agree with will get her accepted.
I used to get really angry about a lot of things and that anger would sit in my gut for a long time. It would ruin my day/s and keep getting me down.
How do I deal with it?
There is this guy I know who's always mad at stuff. Nothings ever good enough, his family is always to blame, his wife.. etc etc. I was mad at something one particular day and suddenly I stopped and thought to myself;
'I'm going to turn out exactly like that guy I cant stand. I can hear his same attitude in myself already. Holy cow.. I dont want to be like him'.
It was one of those 'light bulb moments'. So what did I do about it?
I learned about 'the injustices of the world' mindset. The 'should's and shouldn't' mindset.
Basically when things and people act and turn out in ways that aren't to your standards, you get upset that they 'shouldn't ' be doing that. There is a sense of injustice and frustration when things turn out badly, or people behave in a way that we dont like. It seems like they are just getting away with it.
But what can we do about them? We really can't do much at all. We can't control their actions, or tell them how to speak or behave. We can't control that.
What can we control? Our mindset.
We need to realize and accept that people and situations don't turn out the way we want, and let the anger and frustration go.
Say to yourself 'its not the way I wanted this to turn out, but I can't change it now. The only thing that I'm hurting by being angry is myself.
I will let go of the anger now, it's no longer part of me'.
Over time you will become better and better at letting go of things that upset you.
It's not easy, it will take time because you have to re-train the way you think in these situations. But keep at it, I know you can get there. If I can, any one can.
The book I read that helped me was titled 'Change your thinking' by Sarah Edelman.
You dont need to hold onto these negative thoughts and feelings, they're only hurting you.
Good luck .
I used to get really angry about a lot of things and that anger would sit in my gut for a long time. It would ruin my day/s and keep getting me down.
How do I deal with it?
There is this guy I know who's always mad at stuff. Nothings ever good enough, his family is always to blame, his wife.. etc etc. I was mad at something one particular day and suddenly I stopped and thought to myself;
'I'm going to turn out exactly like that guy I cant stand. I can hear his same attitude in myself already. Holy cow.. I dont want to be like him'.
It was one of those 'light bulb moments'. So what did I do about it?
I learned about 'the injustices of the world' mindset. The 'should's and shouldn't' mindset.
Basically when things and people act and turn out in ways that aren't to your standards, you get upset that they 'shouldn't ' be doing that. There is a sense of injustice and frustration when things turn out badly, or people behave in a way that we dont like. It seems like they are just getting away with it.
But what can we do about them? We really can't do much at all. We can't control their actions, or tell them how to speak or behave. We can't control that.
What can we control? Our mindset.
We need to realize and accept that people and situations don't turn out the way we want, and let the anger and frustration go.
Say to yourself 'its not the way I wanted this to turn out, but I can't change it now. The only thing that I'm hurting by being angry is myself.
I will let go of the anger now, it's no longer part of me'.
Over time you will become better and better at letting go of things that upset you.
It's not easy, it will take time because you have to re-train the way you think in these situations. But keep at it, I know you can get there. If I can, any one can.
The book I read that helped me was titled 'Change your thinking' by Sarah Edelman.
You dont need to hold onto these negative thoughts and feelings, they're only hurting you.
Good luck .
This sucks. I was once verbally harassed by a mean girl in a male-dominated class too. The guys were actually nicer to me. I think what this girl said to you is backwards, but everyone's entitled to their own opinions. It seems like you guys don't click so maybe it's best to avoid her.
Diend
Well-known member
the relationship between cantonese and non-cantonese speakers isn't so smooth. my mom also looks down on western cuisine and has a hard time eating cheesy food. a lot of what she says is taboo. she may be from a wealthy background because she can afford to travel. she doesnt seem to be sensitive calling everything you say to be 'dumb' if she doesn't agree with it. i originally would suggest fighting fire with fire but stereotypically, international students will do crazy things for revenge like spraying acid in your face.
GettingThere
Well-known member
There are babies around the world being harshly mistreated as I write this. You have to remember that there is always someone worse off than you and you also need to know that if you carry anger against some brain-dead idiot who has hurt you than they win. If you strive to forgive and move on you will do yourself soooo much good. There is a huge stumbling block in the harboring of unforgiveness. It's hard but move on for your own sake.