I Need to Vent (Please Take No Offense SPW People)

WishingICould

Well-known member
I get what you're saying, BUT, when you have problems it doesn't matter if somebody else has had it worse than you. When i'm depressed and want to end my life, people telling me how "lucky" i am because i don't live in a third world country or whatever, doesn't make my problems any less real or painful for me. FYI I had a hellish childhood but i won't go there.
 
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Remus

Moderator
Staff member
Nobody here chose to be mentally ill, It's just the luck of the draw. I've always done my very best to survive:

I had a terrible thing done to me as a child.
I've always fought against cracking up.
I went down the road to ruin with drug abuse.
I helped a school friend escape her pimp and heroin addiction.
I was involved in petty crime.
One of my brothers is an alcoholic, the other a heroin addict.
I've been a victim of a violent abusive relationship.
I've been homeless.
I have severe dyslexia.
I have Meneires Disease.
I've seen friends torn apart and dead after a car crash.
I got custody of my kids after their drug addict mother disappeared for a year.
I could go on....and on....

Where have I had it easy? Who are you to judge if any of us have had it easy? Who are you to give out medals? I've been through all that but who am I to judge anyone?

Please take no offence from my post.
 
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Ignace

Well-known member
I agree with WishingICould. You can't really expect us to be happy all of a sudden because someone else had it worse, we realize that. I hope this won't be a "show your misery" topic ..
 

springk

Well-known member
She is a brave girl. Its right that not many people face those hardships but many do.
I m lucky when i see my life..i know i have my own problems and they are too big for me..but yeah sometimes i feel i dont make the best use of what i have.

I can only say about myself and ..well i have to stop all the negatives in my head..i know.
 

Xervello

Well-known member
I agree with WishingICould. You can't really expect us to be happy all of a sudden because someone else had it worse, we realize that. I hope this won't be a "show your misery" topic ..

Who the hell said you needed to be happy all of a sudden? I just mentioned keeping things in perspective.
 
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WishingICould

Well-known member
Who the hell said you needed to be happy all of a sudden? I just mentioned keeping things in perspective.

I am keeping things in perspective but when you have anxiety and depression it doesn't matter if other people are having a "worse" time or not.
 

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
Nobody here chose to be mentally ill, It's just the luck of the draw. I've always done my very best to survive:

I had a terrible thing done to me as a child.
I've always fought against cracking up.
I went down the road to ruin with drug abuse.
I helped a school friend escape her pimp and heroin addiction.
I was involved in petty crime.
One of my brothers is an alcoholic, the other a heroin addict.
I've been a victim of a violent abusive relationship.
I've been homeless.
I have severe dyslexia.
I have Meneires Disease.
I've seen friends torn apart and dead after a car crash.
I got custody of my kids after their drug addict mother disappeared for a year.
I could go on....and on....

Where have I had it easy? Who are you to judge if any of us have had it easy? Who are you to give out medals? I've been through all that but who am I to judge anyone?

Please take no offence from my post.

Sorry to hear that Remus. You're very even-keeled considering. And I agree with you. No one here chose to be mentally ill.
 

Ignace

Well-known member
Who the hell said you needed to be happy all of a sudden? I just mentioned keeping things in perspective.

Claiming that we're all a bunch of whiny *peeps* sounds pretty much the same as "be happy". Nah just kidding dude, we know what u mean, but it's nothing new. We know that a lot of us are better off in some areas, but that doesn't mean we're living the american dream. For myself: I'm better off financially than most people in the world. I have parents who love me, and even some friends here and there. But all of that doesn't mean a lot if you're mentally an idiot. -understatement of the year - Your friend had a very hard time, but sounds like things will only go better for her from now on. Some of the people here their situation seems endless, and don't start saying that it's in our own hands. It is only partly, imo.
 

Xervello

Well-known member
I am keeping things in perspective but when you have anxiety and depression it doesn't matter if other people are having a "worse" time or not.

Actually it does. Be grateful for what you DO have. It may not change the underlying feelings, but at least it can sometimes nullify the self-pity one feels. And self-pity, as a lot of us who suffer with depression know, is like putting salt on the wound.

There's two kinds of people, there's the narcissists (I don't care if other people are doing worse -----> I <----- feel bad) and the empaths (gee, I feel really guilty for dwelling on my problems when others are suffering worse off than me). I at least sympathize for the empaths. Not the narcissists.
 

WishingICould

Well-known member
Actually it does. Be grateful for what you DO have. It may not change the underlying feelings, but at least it can sometimes nullify the self-pity one feels. And self-pity, as a lot of us who suffer with depression know, is like putting salt on the wound.

There's two kinds of people, there's the narcissists (I don't care if other people are doing worse -----> I <----- feel bad) and the empaths (gee, I feel really guilty for dwelling on my problems when others are suffering worse off than me). I at least sympathize for the empaths. Not the narcissists.

I'm not a narcissist. Did i say i didn't care if others were doing worse than me? No. I said it doesn't change how badly i'm feeling. There's a difference. Don't twist my words. I'm sure you've posted things on here complaining about your life just as much as everyone else has. If i'm honest, i think this thread is pretty stupid. Why post something like this on a mental health forum anyway?
 

Xervello

Well-known member
I'm not a narcissist. Did i say i didn't care if others were doing worse than me? No. I said it doesn't change how badly i'm feeling. There's a difference. Don't twist my words. I'm sure you've posted things on here complaining about your life just as much as everyone else has. If i'm honest, i think this thread is pretty stupid. Why post something like this on a mental health forum anyway?

This forum is about personal stories. Not a narcissist? You've taken a thread about someone else and made it all about you. What does that tell ya. :)
 
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WishingICould

Well-known member
This forum is about personal stories. Not a narcissist? You've taken a thread about someone else and made it all about you. What does that tell ya. :)

You know what? I'm not going to even bother defending myself. I was answering your post, that's all. I haven't made it all about myself. It seems to me you only started this thread to annoy people in the first place. I'm not sure why you're attacking me seeing as everyone else mentioned their personal stuff on this thread too.
 

Lamb

Well-known member
This story does make me feel guilty. I was having a questionable night and I'm not sure wallowing in self-guilt is better.

Either way, I thank you for posting. When you look at social anxiety forums this is what the majority of them share, heaping posts of negativity and or expression of emotions. It's best to get away, take a break, when you're feeling in a more positive mood or have placed things in "perspective".

Hoping the best works out for her.
 
How on earth can you know whether she has had a life any worse then any of us in here?:eek:h:
You don't know the details of all our personal histories.


If you die from cancer or die from pneumonia, what's the difference!? If the end result is the same, what caused you to get there makes no difference.
 

Xervello

Well-known member
This story does make me feel guilty. I was having a questionable night and I'm not sure wallowing in self-guilt is better.

Either way, I thank you for posting. When you look at social anxiety forums this is what the majority of them share, heaping posts of negativity and or expression of emotions. It's best to get away, take a break, when you're feeling in a more positive mood or have placed things in "perspective".

Hoping the best works out for her.


Thanks, Lamb. :)
 

Xervello

Well-known member
How on earth can you know whether she has had a life any worse then any of us in here?:eek:h:
You don't know the details of all our personal histories.


If you die from cancer or die from pneumonia, what's the difference!? If the end result is the same, what caused you to get there makes no difference.


Um, really?
 

Raichel

Well-known member
Yes I tend to drown in self pity way too often. Thank you for posting this Xervello. For me it's a good reminder that I have tools available that many others who are less fortenate than me have not. If I work hard, I can get out of the situation I'm currently in. I hope your friend will be more fortunate in the future. She certainly is a very very strong individual to survive all this misery. I hope she doesn't have to fight completely on her own, having the right people by your side can make such a huge difference. These battles can't be fought with a one man army.

Hmm on a different note, I've been thinking: do you think it would be helpful for people suffering from depression to get involved in some sort of voluntary work? My mum suggested this to me when I was on one of my 'bohoo my life sucks so bad'-rants. Perhaps she's right. Helping other's in need generally produces a feeling of self-worth and happiness. It'll also take your mind off your own sorrows for a little while. Does anyone have experience with volunteering?
 

Xervello

Well-known member
Yes I tend to drown in self pity way too often. Thank you for posting this Xervello. For me it's a good reminder that I have tools available that many others who are less fortenate than me have not. If I work hard, I can get out of the situation I'm currently in. I hope your friend will be more fortunate in the future. She certainly is a very very strong individual to survive all this misery. I hope she doesn't have to fight completely on her own, having the right people by your side can make such a huge difference. These battles can't be fought with a one man army.

Hmm on a different note, I've been thinking: do you think it would be helpful for people suffering from depression to get involved in some sort of voluntary work? My mum suggested this to me when I was on one of my 'bohoo my life sucks so bad'-rants. Perhaps she's right. Helping other's in need generally produces a feeling of self-worth and happiness. It'll also take your mind off your own sorrows for a little while. Does anyone have experience with volunteering?

Thanks, Raichel. :)

Yeah, I think volunteering is a good idea. Just speaking for myself, whenever I did a good deed or helped someone out it really perked me up. And if someone appreciated it or gave me a compliment for it, that just added to the positive energy. I say it's worth a shot anyway. But if you have deeper issues with depression, pursue the medical/psychiatric avenues, as well.
 

Barrier

Well-known member
I am not one for comparing problems. It's good to see things in perspective, but here I feel it's forced upon people. That's not the way to do it.
 
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