I need to vent... please! D:

dancingintherain

Well-known member
well, I was best friends with this girl when I was young and she was the only person who was good to me. We were like sisters. (that was back then before my SA started) then when were in the second year of high school I'd done something really stupid that made her break friends with me. From then on, the three years of high school, I thought I wasn't a good enough person to be friends with anyone, that I might hurt them or they might hurt me. I tried tons of stuff to make her forgive me like apologising but she wouldn't budge. She had tons of friends anyway - while I was all alone or being teased by people for being so quiet and weird.
Then when I left high school I thought I'll be able to make friends with other people again. But couldn't. I developed SA.
I really missed our friendship and I would dream about her being just there A LOT. Up to the point it's damaging.
Sooooo... Just a few minutes ago, I saw her in town. I said hi, then she rambled on about how good her job is and that she might find a place to live. I looked at her and saw someone so confident with lots of friends. Then she looked at me as if I was a weirdo. Actually she pretty much talked to my mum who was with me instead. I couldn't wait to go and never see her again.. She had no idea how much she damaged me.
Did she even notice that I was all alone through high school while she had tons of friends?

Was it something I deserved?
 
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Section_31

Well-known member
*hug*

you didnt deserve that dance......really, do you think something you did in highschool years ago in a social enviroment warrants what you or anyone with S/A goes through?? trust me there are far worse things far worse people have done....

She probably honestly didnt realize how badly she may have hurt you, intentionally or not. Unfortunately most who do so never DO notice, i think thats part of what makes it sting so much more, is the ignorance and unknowing of the other person.

I had the same thing happen, before my S/A really onset i had a childhood best friend, except in my case i started to withdraw...and withdraw...and withdraw....untill one day he had started to run with a different crowd because i was always too scared to go out or do anything......but i dont feel i deserved it, it just happened.

Try not to be to hard on yourself. In short i dont think you deserved it at all.
 

twiggle

Well-known member
Hey dancing,

I'm not sure what it was you did to upset your friend during high-school but I'm sure it can't have been that bad. You apologised and tried your hardest to make amends but if your friend wasn't willing to accept that just because she had other friends then it could be argued that she's a little bit stubborn. High school is full of fall-outs but forgiveness is so liberating.

It would be pointless to try and ascertain the exact way in which this girl sees you because because it could be a whole host of things and there is no way of knowing.

Best thing you can do is just focus on yourself, your life and what you hope to achieve so that you can then start working your way towards that.
 

Orion's Hound

Active member
I had a somewhat similar high school experience where one of my male friends ended up thinking I had come on to a girl he had been seeing due to poor body language so not only exploded and stopped being friends but actively started dating girls that he thought I was interested in. I liken it to a kid licking a piece of candy so another kid doesn't want it any more or a more primitive marking strategy. He always had an easy time with girls and I would ask them out but end up getting the cold shoulder or full on creeping them out. It is a more romantic side of it but somewhat similar. I was mad at him and even hated him, for awhile, but even the seemingly lucky have their own burdens to bear. He got a girl pregnant and had to work right out of high school. While that is dramatic your own friend may have issues as well - especially if she holds grudges that span so many years. I doubt she has many close friends with that outlook. Likely very shallow friendships.

That said, when I got out of high school I began honing my interests and meeting friends that way. I still creeped girls out but meeting people through a hobby can be a way to break the ice and get ordinary friends. Do you have any hobbies? Even geeky or odd ones will likely have an online community that is thriving. You seem nice enough and young so don't give up just yet. You owe yourself that much.
 

dancingintherain

Well-known member
Thankyou so much for your reply.
I'm sorry about your experience. But it's great you've honored your interests and found friends. I have some odd hobbies, so I'll check out some communities;)

:):)
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
What was the silly thing you did?

Anyway, people grow up and change and all of that. Unfortunately for you, you developed SA and she didn't. Just because she has all these things doesn't make you any worse. We all have to brush our teeth the same way, we all put pants on one leg at a time, and we all die eventually, no matter what we've accumulated. You're great in your own way.
 

Iluv

Well-known member
If she was a real friend she would have never done that. Fake friends leave you, real friends would get arrested with you.
 

R3K

Well-known member
I hate those situations, when you run into an old friend who’s super successful now or has an awesome life. Just babbling on excitedly about how they’re married, they have kids, they’re having trouble deciding what kind color to paint the play room in the house for the babies, bla bla – makes me wanna find the nearest blunt object and bash my own face in even as they’re talking.

Happily married with children my ass…I bet these people cry themselves to sleep and have a million regrets over the "accomplishments" they’ve scored. My lazy ass sleepin in forever on my days off, stroll 100 feet to the little supermarket plaza right next to my house and get some fresh grilled fish tacos from Roberto’s mexican place right there. Spend an hour and a half eating a savory late brunch in front of the tv watching anything I want not a damn care in the world.

That’s my life b****es. envy me.

(your fried probly enjoyed bragging to your mom about how her sh*t dont stink nowadays... which means she still holds a pubescent grudge from highschool? that's awesome, what a droll, overgrown little girl.)
 

Ten

Banned
If she was a real friend she would have never done that. Fake friends leave you, real friends would get arrested with you.

I agree completely. 100%. So what makes you think this poster is a 'real friend'?

It's impossible for anyone to honestly answer your question in your opening post because we don't know what you did to her. Maybe you did something horrible, or maybe it wasn't that bad and she overreacted. I don't know.. Either way, life goes on and we all learn from our mistakes and experiences. By the way, you mention that she doesn't know how much she damaged you, but the same might be said about how she felt (or still feels) about whatever you did. Just because you see someone smiling almost all the time, hanging around their friends, doesn't mean they aren't hurting or thinking about it when they're alone.

I think a lot of peoples reaction to someone who's hurt them is to pretend it didn't affect them.


I hate (your fried probly enjoyed bragging to your mom about how her sh*t dont stink nowadays... which means she still holds a pubescent grudge from highschool? that's awesome, what a droll, overgrown little girl.)

Pretty silly comment I have to say.. Seeing as we have no idea what she did.

I'd never forgive someone if for example I let them read my diary, which has extremely personal information in it, and then for fun they stole it from me and read it in front of the class or something. Would you forgive that person? Probably not. No that doesn't mean you'd be angry about it for the rest of your life, but I'd most likely never want to be around that person again, and wouldn't mind if they died. ;D

And no I don't have a diary, just saying.
 
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