I live in Fear. How do I treat this

sadmom

Member
Ok. I am a mother who fear eye contact w/ people. it doesn't who. I mean I can look at my son and husband. but that is as far as it gets. and because I fear of looking at people I get the "look" I cry all the time about it because I am even scary of children. I hate to look at them my heart beat fast and sweat. Can you imaige what a parent thinks. I myself would be wary of the people around my son.I can not control my scares and I make people uncomfortable. I don't want my son to live in shame of his mother, because i know how that feels. My dad talks to himself and is a heavy drinker.I think parents think I am a molester or something wrong (AND I LOVE KIDS NEVER WOULD HURT THEM OR TOUCH THEM IN ANYWAY)What Can I do??? I have thoughts of killing myself because of this. I have to remind myself "You are NoT what people think of you"No one has said anything but I know the looks and they don't trust me around their kids.I fear my son will soon notices this and...I just want to be Nomal again.I wasn't always like this.

Please help :cry:
 

lonely_world

Well-known member
First of all, don't think you are a bad mom or that your son will be ashamed of you. Extreme shyness is a disorder that can be treated, but you have to ask for the help first. You have to find a therapist that you feel comfortable with, and go from there. I'm also very shy and have a bit of a hard time looking people in the eye, but a good therapist who is aware of Social Anxiety disorder, can help you to overcome this debilitating fear. Some medications can help you feel more relaxed socially too, and maybe something you may consider. You will be ok.
 

Sebastian

Well-known member
Use the love for your baby to reach a new level of consciousness. We all change and by doing it actively, we can change ourselves.
 

blue

Well-known member
Wow you have the same problems as me and i carnt even stand with other parents outside the school, they all think im weird and i think they dont like their children near me.
My daughter doesnt get invited to parties and i blame myself :cry:
It is the hardest thing to deal with. I really do know how you feel all i can say is try and relax your child will love you because you tuck them in at night and you make them feel warm and loved that is the important thing.

I cry all the time too, i have started some councelling and it really does help, although i tend to cry all the way through the sessions!

take care big hug
 

sadmom

Member
I thank you all. To tell you the truth I was a little wary talking about it. Now I kind of feel better about. But I want to know HOW did I get this way? I was never shy before. Alway able to talk to people directly then one day ( I don't remember when) but I just felt a change.I am soo tempted to talk meds but I worry about no being able to afford them and then becoming unblance for the weeks, months, of me taking them. Is there any other way?
 

sadmom

Member
You really that way too

If you really know how I feel, I feel for you too. It very hard to watch yourself "freak out" and not be able to control it.And Harder when you are with Children Parents.That is why I want to do something now before teachers,parents,pta start wondering.My daycare already having a problem with me but I told them that I was fine but I do gaze out sometimes and that i don't mean any harm. I h ave to get it together . I WANT TO BE A SOCCOR MOM. And inside that is me. We have to get through this. How much is counciling?
 

nutsaboutu

New member
I use to have this fear and just thinking that if I make eye contact they will find out my secrets or something. What exactly do you do? why would you get the look?
 

blue

Well-known member
what i have been doing lately to make dealing with parents and teachers easier is just smiling :)

Even if you feel too nervouse to look someone in the eye just generally smile when you are near people. All teachers and parents want from you is acknolegment noone is asking you to stand up infront of them and give an introduction.

Just smile and say hi if people look at you i found looking at people really difficult. just lately ive been pushing myself to glance at people and smile its such a great feeling when people start to smile back......thats all people really want :)

Dont be afraid of meds talk to your doctor about everything and he will decide what is right for you, you can always stop taking them if your concerned what have you to loose!
Councelling helps put things in perspective, if your brittish its free through your G.P otherwise youir G.P should be able to reccomend the right channel to go through.

Take care :D
 

sadmom

Member
The thing is....

The thing is I have no secerts. I just zone out and like it may go like this..

I may go to work and see a family I freeze out before they come toward me I'm thinking " Ahhh A Kid RUN!!!!!!!!" or not notice them think" ok gotta go get this or that or whatever and but I have a blank face on my face and when the family come im so caught of gaurd that I break out in sweet you can see the stress and what do i do land my eye stright to the child. Do you see what I'm taking about.
 
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