**I have OCD induced SA and would apperciate some advice**

newguy1985

Member
I have OCD where I need to rethink thoughts to solve problems and / or get them "perfect".

Sometimes people would talk to me to be nice like "hey man you want some snacks", or "hey i put your food in the microwave for you". I would respond with a quick "thanks" in an attempt to get rid of them so i can continue my thoughts. not being able to figure out my thoughts and having people interrupt me brings a great deal of anxiety

I didnt even know that I had offended some people until weeks later when we were chatting about how a cowroker snapped and went off on a girl, telling her off.

my co workers joked about how I'm going to snap one day and one of them said that he too had a problem with me but didnt let it get as far as the other guys did.

I didnt think much about it until I got home .... I remember that we were waiting for the microwave so I took the time to ask another coworker about our job training. There was somethign I didnt understand but I NEEDED to understanded it 100% as part of my OCD.

When his food was done, he came into the room and offered to put my food in the microwave and I just had a pissed off look on my face and said "thanks". At that point all i cared about was solving what was confusing me.

this eats me up inside as i CANT accept the fact that I have offeneded someone. I NEED to be in control and EVERY converstaion / situation must be perfect. IM a nice person so I CANT accept this flaw.

The more I think about it the worst I feel. He is a popular guy and i start to think...what if everyone hates me because HE doesnt like me?

the truth is its been weeks and since the incident and we have joked alot and everything was normal. I had to repeat every single converstion we had since the incident to ensure that they were positive. If i cant confirm that they were positve I would think about them over and over again. If i cant comfrim that they happened AFTER the incident, I would get distressed and had to find out as best as I could.

Ever since I have started this job, every weekend has been filled with some sort of situation where I thought i had offended someone or did something wrong. This completely ruins my weekend to the point where Im 100% depressed and hopeless. I cant hit the gym with any kind of intensity. I cant enjoy movies / tv / books. I can barley clean the apt or get groceries and basic errands done....
/crazy
 
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desoconnor

Well-known member
You should keep a diary... that way you can write things down and come back to them later on if you need to. It'll let you concentrate on the here and now, and then go back to things later on when its quiet and you have time to think things through.

I get the bus everywhere, so have time to think about things then :)
 
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