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Old 12-13-2007
cjmax's Avatar
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I want to go out, to walk all day, just long walk all day with smile on my face.
Same as it was when I was a small boy.
I would like to have some friend near me so I can tell him that I am so much scared and I feel as a hell.
Now I have the power to go out and to do that, but...
When the morning come and I step near the door, then seems it is ...
Many times I force my self and after some hours walking when I am back at home(?!) I feel like I was having stones on my heart and soul.
Sorry for my English..I am from Germany.
And I have agoraphobia.
Looking for some friends, I am new in this Forum.
CJ
cjmax is offline  
Old 12-13-2007
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by cjmax
I want to go out, to walk all day, just long walk all day with smile on my face.
Same as it was when I was a small boy.
I would like to have some friend near me so I can tell him that I am so much scared and I feel as a hell.
Now I have the power to go out and to do that, but...
When the morning come and I step near the door, then seems it is ...
Many times I force my self and after some hours walking when I am back at home(?!) I feel like I was having stones on my heart and soul.
Sorry for my English..I am from Germany.
And I have agoraphobia.
Looking for some friends, I am new in this Forum.
CJ
awww hi cj..welcome :!: you don't have to apologize for your english..there are people from all over the world on this site..and we all try our very best to understand eachother :wink: ..and even though we may be far away from eachother..we are united in how we feel. I am sad to hear you have no friend nearby to walk to..and talk to :cry: ..is there a store..or shop nearby..you could walk to, and perhaps get to know someone working there? perhaps that would help. And i think, if you keep trying, to get up each morning..and walk..even a short distance, it is a good thing..keep it up And we are always here to talk to if you need some advice, or a friend
maggie is offline  
Old 12-13-2007
miss_amy's Avatar
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Be good to chat to people here too. Hello from me.

Amy
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Old 12-16-2007
cjmax's Avatar
Newbie User
 

Thanks a lot for your support.
It's mean a lot to me.
I am trying to push my self and to go on with live.
What I ahte now is Christmass, because I just do not have anyone to share with my feelings.
Ok, I am married and have 2 children but, during all this years of this madness I am in the corner and have no power to stand up from there.
Unfortenately I do not have any support or understanding from them, and neither from my wife.
And biggest problem is..I feel I am more interested for people of my kind - men.
I have never been with someone in my live and never had some one, but I am dreaming of it and have a big wish to do it finaly.
From the other side...I have family.
Shit live... :roll:
cjmax is offline  
Old 12-16-2007
 

Quote:
What I hate now is Christmass, because I just do not have anyone to share with my feelings.
I share that same thought often during this time of year. But give this some thought... Could you think about how lonely it would be if you had nobody to be with during the holidays? There are many people here who have gotten to that point, and would probably advise you to try to keep your family together rather than forget about them. However, you need to get help and overcome your problem before you can begin putting your family life back together... If you fail to get help it will probably fall apart anyways.

Basically what I'm trying to tell you, and everyone in this forum is this... "Live life today. Tomorrow is never promised."


Peace
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