I feel more comfortable with Women...

CK23

CK23

Well-known member
I've been very lonely my entire life... but i can thankfully say i have had some sort of bonding with a few nice women... i had no luck with guys in friendship... I dont know why that is... probably i'm just too careful unlike other guys who fool around and play pranks... maybe they just dont like the way i behave and avoid me as a result... I felt that women were more warm towards me..At present i have a couple of female friends i adore... I just fear that when they get married they might not keep in touch... I always dread that feeling... I cry every night cos of my loneliness!
 
2Crowded

2Crowded

Well-known member
they will probly do that cause most men have built in jealous traits where as once they secure a mate they dont take kindly to another cave man horning in on thier woman for whatever reason..it will make them uncomfortable..3's a crowd....I think thats a normal thing really..not saying that these women still wont call you a friend..but they most likely wil distance themselves from you a bit.
 
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MadCat

Well-known member
This is quite common. I believe it is linked to being "love shy", where the male will always have a preference to bond with females, even in friendship, as well as prefer children that are female.
 
worrywort

worrywort

Well-known member
Yea I get on WAY better with women than men....cause women are so much nicer!!! lol! Blokes tend to be all lairy and macho and competitive and guarded. Blokes are a lot more likely to laugh at me, or at least not understand me, when I reveal my true feelings. Whereas most women are a lot more sensitive and kind....in my experience anyway. The only blokes I've ever been friends with have been social outcasts or minorities in their own class.....and that "love shy" thing's funny cause I'd also much prefer children that were girls than boys too!
 
lurknomore

lurknomore

1
Same here. I get along with guys much more easily than I do girls. I think partly because I've never felt like I was a normal female- I'm not into normal girly stuff. So I relate to guys more.
 
CK23

CK23

Well-known member
I've tried reaching out to guys... But it just sucks so bad when you're trying hard to make conversation and the other person just blows you off! And if you wanna add insult to injury put in the fact that you are shy as well... It is dreadful! On the contrary the women i've bonded with were welcoming towards me... they broke the ice first and made me come out of my shell... I felt that once they broke my shell i really warmed up to them... I agree with 2crowded that they will distance themselves... I think i can respect that! Infact, i want them to have truly fulfilling lives and if they have to distance themselves for it i have no objection to that... I've lived alone my whole life, I think i can handle some more distance without a sweat! But what if they completely ignore me and think i never existed... In our eastern culture we still have this painful taboo!
 
gsmax5

gsmax5

Well-known member
Yeah...

I'm usually a lot better at keeping a conversation with a girl going (I'm a guy), but at the same time, I find approaching guys to be much easier.
 
lyricalliaisons

lyricalliaisons

Well-known member
anomicdeer said:
Im the same way. Im a female and I feel more comfortable around guys.
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I'm the same way. For me, though, I feel very inadequate & self-conscious around women. Because I feel like they're just very judgmental, I feel more calm & comfortable around guys. Even online lol, women make me nervous at least a bit, whereas guys don't.
 
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MadCat

Well-known member
lyricalliaisons said:
I'm the same way. For me, though, I feel very inadequate & self-conscious around women. Because I feel like they're just very judgmental, I feel more calm & comfortable around guys. Even online lol, women make me nervous at least a bit, whereas guys don't.
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This is common though isn't it with people in general with SA and other social problems, they tend to prefer the opposite sex because there's less competition between the same gender. I can understand and relate to what you mean because I feel the same way around women, but nervous around guys more.
 
Remus

Remus

Moderator
Staff member
My freinds are all women bar one, I find men rather threatening unless they are soft and effeminate
 
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MadCat

Well-known member
Pink_Glitter said:
I feel more comfortable around men, i do get on with women but i find that when i'm around them i judge myself against them like i think, they're funnier, prettier, skinnier, nicer etc..and that just gives me a headache lol
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Ahh but that's entirely true, is it! They're not funnier, prettier, nicer. I don't even have to know them to know that. I've got supernatural powers of mindreading...(not!! lol).
 
Riptor

Riptor

1
With guys I feel there's pressure to have common interests. With women that's less a problem.
 
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MadCat

Well-known member
Riptor said:
It isn't fear of competition so much as with guys I feel there's pressure to have common interests, to talk about "guy things" (beer, sex, sports, sex, cars, sex). With women that's obviously less a problem.
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Those guy things are usually linked to ego and macho stuff. I think a lot of us with social problems are less interested in some of those things...I could be worng though, but yes common interests being Mr. Extroverted Tough Guy.
 
Riptor

Riptor

1
MadCat said:
Those guy things are usually linked to ego and macho stuff. I think a lot of us with social problems are less interested in some of those things...I could be worng though, but yes common interests being Mr. Extroverted Tough Guy.
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Dang it you caught me before I could edit. :rolleyes:

Agreed, though.
 
antipop621

antipop621

Well-known member
I'm male, and I don't really have more/less trouble talking to either one of the sexes, however, a few years ago, I sort of just stopped socializing with guys. I kind of thought, what's the point? I don't really need any more guy friends right now, I need a girlfriend.

But that changed, when I realized that there are some things I dare not tell a girl, especially if I like her. But now I have guys and girls I can open up to, almost equally, which is nice.:mad:
 
Ericisme

Ericisme

Well-known member
Yea, I tend to get along and enjoy talking to women more. It seems I've had several men that I talked to with SA get so... rude... one even called this girl he was talking to an "experiment" It seems even guys with SA can be... well... a guy. Plus I find myself.... more of a girl in some ways. =D
 
CK23

CK23

Well-known member
I found it easier to talk to women cos they tried to understand... they were more forgiving...I have this knack of being too careful when i talk...I am nervous that i might slip... i try to be perfect... and usually i end up being silly... Guys see right through it and taunt me with their expressions... i feel heartbroken, cos i was so careful and still i slipped and got ridiculed... But most women didnt do that to me...when i would muster my courage and look them in the eyes they'd hold me in, make me open up... let it out! and i'd warm up to them and be 'the real me, behind the mask'... the guy i keep hidden from the rest of the world.... I owe it to them big time... i can never forget them, cos they saw me when i was invisible... not many people in this world are capable of doing that...
 
no1

no1

Banned
worrywort said:
Yea I get on WAY better with women than men....cause women are so much nicer!!! lol! Blokes tend to be all lairy and macho and competitive and guarded. Blokes are a lot more likely to laugh at me, or at least not understand me, when I reveal my true feelings. Whereas most women are a lot more sensitive and kind....in my experience anyway. The only blokes I've ever been friends with have been social outcasts or minorities in their own class.....and that "love shy" thing's funny cause I'd also much prefer children that were girls than boys too!
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yep... me too.

though how do you get around the initial "attraction" to them?'

Dont ya think a reason why we might get along with the opposite sex better since it also might have to do with initial attraction as well or the fact that we are like the yang to their yin, and vice versa.
 
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no1

no1

Banned
antipop621 said:
I'm male, and I don't really have more/less trouble talking to either one of the sexes, however, a few years ago, I sort of just stopped socializing with guys. I kind of thought, what's the point? I don't really need any more guy friends right now, I need a girlfriend.

But that changed, when I realized that there are some things I dare not tell a girl, especially if I like her. But now I have guys and girls I can open up to, almost equally, which is nice.:mad:
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On the second one that's true, there are some things I dare not tell her, because I fear I may lose her, and well whatever else.

The thing about guys.. I usually mix in much more with guys who I can relate with and can understand "social anxiety".
 
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