I came to that CONCLUSION that I will always be a LONER

Yes I said, I feel like I can't trust people 100% no more and I will explain why.

1) In elementary when I came back to the US to stay here permanently, I made a BFF in the 4th grade. We were good bff even till middle school but then she started hanging out with more people and was talking crap behind my back. Then we went to HS and went our separate ways.

2) When I was 13 and a freshman in HS, I met another BFF. I used to sleep over her house, she will take me out to parties, etc etc. I knew part of her family, her mom loved me. Senior year came so she graduated a semester earlier, got herself a bf and stopped calling me.

3) In late 2007 to early 2008, I spoke to some people from SPW online only. I became BFF with someone, we met PERSONALLY after speaking for like a year or two.....then the other day because of a Stupidity this person just decided to delete me and block me from her MSN. Why? NO REASON AT ALL. She did not replied my offline messages and I was thinking that she wasn't just getting ONLINE but she was, i went to a website and found out she deleted me. So i sent her an email telling that she is a fake and she didn't even bother to add me back...So then she replied with some BS so I just deleted her and block her.

4) I am now in COLLEGE, and I started hanging out mostly with two girls.(I am a girl as well). One is from Europe and the other one is Guyanese. I always feel like they leave me behind, like today we were in class and they left with out me. I give food the one from Europe because her uncle just left her in an apartment with no money. So, I feel like wow I am helping you and I always feel left out. So, the other day I was in her apartment with the girl from Guyana and she was saying hi to the girl's mom through the phone...and she said oh your daughter is MY BFF HERE. I am like wow, I thought she would say one of my best friends and include me or something but she didn't. I let the girl from Europe come to my house and get on the computer to chat with her mom and other relatives etc.....So I would think that they both would make me feel part of them both....but they don't. If we go to a place the three together, they always like end up sitting next to each other...and I just don't feel like I belong. So, with everything that has happened, I am just going to avoid them and hang on my own like I always do.

I am stuck with almost the same people in each class except for Math class, we all know each others name. However, I don't feel like I belong with anybody at all. I am just going to be a loner so I won't get hurt.

i know exactly how that feels, and iz definetely not a good one. Especially when you were close and then just start to slowly drift apart. Neither wants to adnit it, but we know its happening. They go to be popular, and we jus stay by ourselves as usual

thanks for understanding...so am i the only one that feels this way?

Yes, people change. It's sad, but it happens. So much for the concept behind being BFFs.

im a loner, im like rambo, when i feel unwanted, i just go somewhere else that im not wanted

I've never had a BF. I have had friends during school until the group I hung out with decided they didn't want anything to do with me anymore. Since then any friends I have had have broken my trust and I no longer talk to them. Now I tend to avoid making friends at all.

its sounds more like he came to the conclusion that people suck

I'm so afraid that this is what is happening to the one friend I've ever had in life recently it hasn't been the same talking to her over the phone she seems distant and before we could be on the phone for hours even if neither one of us was speaking but now we barely talk for 30mins. We never really hung out maybe once every couple of months since she is busy out with her other friends and I'm inside my home....alone. Part of me thinks I should be happy for her though when we first became friends she had alot of personal problems and i was the only person who listened and even helped her through most of them going so far as to get in touch with one of her parents to get them to be more encouraging to her and it seems to have have worked she has been doing so well and is really making an effort to get better. I guess I should be thankful that when she leaves i can at least say i had a friend.

People letting you hang .. where do I know that from ? Try to forget it, they're not worth it.

don't lose hope so easily, you have your whole life ahead of you. If you think this way it is really not going to help. Sure there are bad people in the world but there are good people as well.

I felt left out when I had friends. Which is one reason why I don't talk to them anymore.

i understand you completely, eventually you are just gonna end up treating others the same way you got treated

I felt left out when I had friends. Which is one reason why I don't talk to them anymore.

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I would say the same except, I felt left out when I had "friends". Which is one reason why I don't talk to them anymore. I believe I've always been kept around for amusement and eventually rejected, no matter how hard I tried. When this becomes the case when you're trying to earn a living, or have a mate (every time you try)... then people wonder why you no longer want people around.

I suppose I'll just advise you to try a different outlook on life- on people- on friends.

Don't expect anything from anyone - then you will never be disappointed.

It's fairly simple. You can still be happy- you can still have friends; just don't expect anything to ever be permanent- because there's not really any such thing as 'forever'.
Everything has an expiry date and that is okay.
It feels alot better to know this and be able to just let things go whenever they decide to go.
Make friends- make alot of friends.
Be a good person.
Be happy.
Do things for yourself to make you happy.
Do things for others if that makes you happy.

I'm testing out this outlook and I think it will definitely work for me.
People lie, people change, people are just that- people.
They are human.
No one is perfect.
Everyone makes mistakes.
It's easy to get hurt- harder to break; but it happens.
It's better to know this and go into any relationship prepared for(but not expecting) failure.
If the failure never happens, then that is wonderful!
If it does, then you know it was a possibility and won't be as upset as you would be if you were expecting it to last forever.

Coming to any conclusion that you will always be anything, is unwise, limiting, negative, and very immature. Sorry I know that this is an old post, but this is really not cool. It is negative self talk of the most destructive type. Come to that conclusion and stick to it, and you will make it so. Life is about change, the very nature of life is always in a state of change. NOTHING stay's the same. The trick is to create the change yourself, not be at the mercy of the changes around you.

WeirdyMcGee said:

I suppose I'll just advise you to try a different outlook on life- on people- on friends.

Don't expect anything from anyone - then you will never be disappointed.

It's fairly simple. You can still be happy- you can still have friends; just don't expect anything to ever be permanent- because there's not really any such thing as 'forever'.
Everything has an expiry date and that is okay.
It feels alot better to know this and be able to just let things go whenever they decide to go.
Make friends- make alot of friends.
Be a good person.
Be happy.
Do things for yourself to make you happy.
Do things for others if that makes you happy.

I'm testing out this outlook and I think it will definitely work for me.
People lie, people change, people are just that- people.
They are human.
No one is perfect.
Everyone makes mistakes.
It's easy to get hurt- harder to break; but it happens.
It's better to know this and go into any relationship prepared for(but not expecting) failure.
If the failure never happens, then that is wonderful!
If it does, then you know it was a possibility and won't be as upset as you would be if you were expecting it to last forever.

Click to expand...

Great!!!!! Two thumbs up for you!!!!

WeirdyMcGee said:

I suppose I'll just advise you to try a different outlook on life- on people- on friends.

Don't expect anything from anyone - then you will never be disappointed.

It's fairly simple. You can still be happy- you can still have friends; just don't expect anything to ever be permanent- because there's not really any such thing as 'forever'.
Everything has an expiry date and that is okay.
It feels alot better to know this and be able to just let things go whenever they decide to go.
Make friends- make alot of friends.
Be a good person.
Be happy.
Do things for yourself to make you happy.
Do things for others if that makes you happy.

I'm testing out this outlook and I think it will definitely work for me.
People lie, people change, people are just that- people.
They are human.
No one is perfect.
Everyone makes mistakes.
It's easy to get hurt- harder to break; but it happens.
It's better to know this and go into any relationship prepared for(but not expecting) failure.
If the failure never happens, then that is wonderful!
If it does, then you know it was a possibility and won't be as upset as you would be if you were expecting it to last forever.

Click to expand...

That's one of the greatest advise a person can give you! You expressed it perfectly, WeirdyMcGee

Jo1991, being all alone is not the solution. Maybe you just had bad luck with the people you met. That also happened to me, but I also have known very good persons that are important in my life. You don't have to get closed to the rest. Just don't expect too much from the rest and do the things you really want to do

Edit: Wow, I also didn't look at the date, and I thought to do it because a little time ago there was another thread revived and I almost replied it. What a fail. Anyway, I loved what WeirdyMcGee said. I always tried to see that way

WeirdyMcGee said:

I suppose I'll just advise you to try a different outlook on life- on people- on friends.

Don't expect anything from anyone - then you will never be disappointed.

It's fairly simple. You can still be happy- you can still have friends; just don't expect anything to ever be permanent- because there's not really any such thing as 'forever'.
Everything has an expiry date and that is okay.
It feels alot better to know this and be able to just let things go whenever they decide to go.
Make friends- make alot of friends.
Be a good person.
Be happy.
Do things for yourself to make you happy.
Do things for others if that makes you happy.

I'm testing out this outlook and I think it will definitely work for me.
People lie, people change, people are just that- people.
They are human.
No one is perfect.
Everyone makes mistakes.
It's easy to get hurt- harder to break; but it happens.
It's better to know this and go into any relationship prepared for(but not expecting) failure.
If the failure never happens, then that is wonderful!
If it does, then you know it was a possibility and won't be as upset as you would be if you were expecting it to last forever.

Click to expand...

Great advice, but do you all understand how infinitely difficult this is for some people? Unaccepted completely by your peers and then made to feel out of place for feeling like yourself - no matter the conditions. It takes time and experience to acquire such an acute sense of abnormality, but it's not through not trying. It's also not as simple as being a loner, or being amongst people... this affects your life, your job, your friends, your mate, your sense of security within the group, your confidence - none of which exist after time. Best of all, once you're outcast, you only have yourself to blame (or so it is said). The perfect crime every time really, if you don't agree with the definition others have provided for your life, get ready for it.

Edit : I obviously missed the point of this thread due to drunkeness I apologize.


Im sorry for the way you feel. I bet your an amazing girl. People just dont unnderstand us... not to say there isnt someone out there for you. Hell Id probably date you. I think that people who dont direct their lives towards a social existance are much better people... anyway I know I wont be alone forever. Someonehow in my lonely existance women always seems to find me eventually. Some with SA most without. Its rough. I just wish I could tell someone exactly how I felt. My deepest fears, my problems, my joys, my inerests... no one seems to respect me when I have SA. Like another thread pointed out people seem to treat someone with SA as if they are mentally handicapped which is completely opposite to logic IMO... Im not a pansy, im not afraid of many things but when it comes to people I just dont know how to act.... let me say this though. If some part of you belives you will be with someone you will. Eventually. It may be painfull it may not work out but it will happen if you want it to.


For instance if this website exists and flourishes it must mean there are many like minded people out there. It must mean some dont have the power to even sign up. Though I know some day I will be with the girl of my dreams, someone who gets me, its possible. I know this because I would love to date a girl with SA women must feel the same no?

I was fine and normal till by age 10 or so I started noticing how people only used me. By the time I was 15 I already knew I was the "tail" friend. (The one who's always left behind trying to tag along with their supposed friends.) So now (age 20) I don't call them, I don't use my real name on FB so they can't find me. Moved to another country.I hoped they thought I died. BUT NO SIR! They had to come to NYC as well to keep making me feel like im worthless all over again. Not just one person, but about 5-6 from the old days are here -_-. They are part of what caused my SA.