I am back and am returning

I left here a few months ago or so. I'm now currently working full time as a care giver at a senior home. I also still see my life coach. Around April I stopped taking my meds. The withdrawal lasted a month and I declined in my mental health a lot. I eventually got back on my feet after that month and then for months I have never been so happy in my life. I began to feel great and I felt more in control. I was happy with my life. Sadly mental health always comes back to bite you in the ***. 3 weeks ago I had to go to the hospital because I wanted help, I was feeling suicidal and having a breakdown. I went to the hospital and waited 6 hours in a quiet room. They had no mental health crisis nurse because it was her day off which is ridiculous enough that they only have one crisis nurse in my whole province. They then took me to a cell, it had steel doors, surrounded by stone walls and a mattress with a bed and a pillow on it. I waited for about an hour and the doctor finally came in. Apparently since I was 17 I was misdiagnosed. I did not have psychosis or anything. I have autism, SAD, Depression and anxiety. He then told me I was a person who overreacts and sent me home. So for 4 years I have been given the wrong medications, and I have been taking them. Every time I said I didn't feel good on them my doctor gave me a higher dose. Mental health care here is truly abused. When the doctor in the hospital spoke to me I would try to tell him how I feel to be then interrupted and told how I feel by him. I take sertraline now and that's all I take. Like I said when I posted here months ago, where I live mental health is not looked after appropriately.

Currently I am back working, but becoming more distant with people everyday.

I'm sorry to read about what you're going through currently, depression can be a giant b*tch. Welcome back to the forum.

Hi - I'm sorry this has happened to you.
You've gone through alot. When you mentioned you were the happiest you had been in a long time- that struck me -because Ive read that with antipsychotics apparently numbs your emotions? If you were off that - over time you would likely feel a lift and your emotions back and a detox. I guess than an influx of other emotions too?

Perhaps it takes a while for this new medication to start to take its course. Considering you have been on the other meds for some time.

I personally don't believe in medication for mental health unless it's for severe psychosis or so. I remember when I was 20 and my doctor would keep giving me very strong anti-depressants (that are now restricted) - pulling them from his drawer and telling me to increase the dose. When all I had was that I had been sexually abused years before and it had made me be social withdrawn and anxious. I was so ill on those tablets - became bipolar and unlike myself - panic attacks in my sleep, severe weight gain and even reckless behaviour like going out and buying things all the time that I didn't really need (even buying pets lol). I was so sick and kept going back and telling my doctor, but he just kept on wanting to give me this stuff. So I went cold turkey and began to feel better but got body ticks for over a year in consequence. But I felt so much better like a weight had been lifted off - it was a detox from the toxicity of the drug going out of my system. After that, I promised myself that I would never again completely trust doctors and their meds. Esp regarding mental health. I went on to a therapist and it helped me immensely - drugs only made me go crazy.
and feel out of control and victimized.

That was my experience anyway. Everyone is different.

Ive also been to a life coach and it really helped me. Even just having someone to listen is good too.


Remember that with diagnoses - it can be a little like a placebo. Your mind is powerful and when someone says - you have this- you can fully believe and act like you do - . You may not have full on what someone says you do. Mentally, we can be made up of different shades of disorders really. Well at least myself.

I hope you can work with your life coach to feel more in control of life and realise how to be happy again. It is very possible that you can be : )