How important is sex to you?

It would be interesting if people told their age, and their view of sex.
Since I haven't experienced it, I can't say anyhting.

I be 21 and I don't understand why people scream for it and feel missearble without it. (or love for that matter)

Apparently its a great feeling, but it isn't as important as it sounds. Its the long term relationships that mean more to people.

I agree with faithnomore. I'm 25 and still a virgin. When I was 20 my friends new I was a virgin, so they made it their goal one summer to get me laid. While I was hoping it would happen, they seemed more concerned with hooking me up with a drunk girl or something like that. So essentially it would have been a one night stand, which I didn't want. In my opinion the brief 3 week relationship I had a few months ago is better than hooking up with a girl for one night.

I am about to be 21... and my views on sex are probably a lot different than people on here. I put it as a high priority to remain a virgin till im married. I am a strong Christian and want to follow God's intent for the special gift he created for a man and wife to enjoy when they are in a COMMITED relationship.

But saying that, i have NEVER been in a serious realtionship before. So i dont know what i would do in that situation. If i really loved him, it might happen, and i would definitely pray about if it was the right thing to do. But i dont think people who have sex before they are married are going to hell...

I've had like 3 or 4 times when if i really wanted to have sex i could have... one time was at this wedding and i had been drinking quite a bit (first and last time ive EVER been drunk, and it was NOT my idea! lol) my cousin was like "you need a drink" so anyway this groomsman was getting me drinks from the open bar. And when i get drunk i dance SO crazy and carefree (i guess like everyone else)...and we were just having fun...maybe dancing seductive i dont remember. but when he was buying me my last drink he told the BAR TENDER "no 'bump bump' tonight" I was like WHO SAID ANYTYHING ABOUT THAT! (i guess since i was drunk he thought i wanted to... but then another time this guy and i were in a hot tub, and he was like "so, what do you want to do tonight?? " kind of in a sexy way...and i was like, i dunno, what do YOU want to do... so we ended up watching a movie. And before he could do anything i gave him some gum b/c he had THE WORST BREATH! lol it ruined the moment, we didnt even kiss. the reason why i know he wanted to go all the way was because he told me LATER, when he had a GF! i was like, umm why are we talking about this now, theres not much we can do now...
Then the other time was a "booty call" basically...i hate calling it that but i dont know how else to describe it. i met this guy at a club and i liked him because he was really cute and confident (he was also drunk at the time) but he like grabbed my hand after talking to him for 5 mins...thats something i like b/c i never want to make the first move and it lets me know theyre attracted to me... anyway he called me after we left and was like begging me to come over...and he was like "we're just going to snuggle"...uhhh yeah whatever. i stayed the night (not a good idea) and he said he wasnt drunk anymore. anyway we just started making out...and he definitely tried to put his hand down my pants, but i pushed it away. im not an easy piece of A**...

Ok so this was a REALLY long explanation....that....ive never gotten serious with anyone. The most serious bf i ever had was in the 5th grade and we were together 2 years, we celebrated anniversaries, had couple parties and everything lol... but this is all just to say... If i truly was in love with my boyfriend at the time i wouldnt count sex completely OUT...

but i really do want to save that ESPECIALLY for my husband and if my husband waited for me i would feel sp special and like 'i was what he was waiting for'........i know thats more fantasy than reality.

but sex is going to be really important in my marriage i know that. you want to have "passion" and sex is a big part of that.

right now i am a human with "physical needs" just like everyone else and am living just fine without it. i dont see what the big deal is that people cant go days without humping like rabbits lol

i do miss kissing and having like a physical connection but i dont like anyone here in my town, i have no interest in hooking up with some one i dont like.

I am 18 and I have never had sex. I think that sex is something that should be shared between two people who really care about each other. Meaningless sex is disgusting and wrong. I'm not saying that you have to be married to to have it, I am just saying I think you should be in a committed relationship and with a person you love.

I'm 25 and a virgin.....and I think sex sounds swell!

but I believe it shouldn't be had outside of marriage.....which is a conveniant belief as I probably couldn't get any if I tried anyway.

I heard a statistic once about how, outside of marriage, as soon as sex is introduced into a relationship it almost always heralds the break up of that relationship.

sex sounds like an incredibly powerful and intimate and sacred thing. I'd imagine something so delicate and vulnerable really needs the strength of a commitment like marriage for it to be truly appreciated.

Kien said:

I be 21 and I don't understand why people scream for it and feel missearble without it. (or love for that matter)

Click to expand...

Are you talking about me? :wink:

Argamemnon said:

Kien said:

I be 21 and I don't understand why people scream for it and feel missearble without it. (or love for that matter)

Click to expand...

Are you talking about me? :wink:

Click to expand...

Not specific. People in general who feels not good because they do not get sex or love.

24, virgin... don't really care, not a big deal to me. Sex without love is meaningless and just another cheap thrill IMO. Sex is really more like a bonus when you find that special one you love to death and is the absolute center of your universe. Even then in a committed relationship love, kindness, respect etc ALL>sex.

And ya it may be more of a fantasy and I've never found anyone I'd even remotely consider actually hooking up with but I plan to save myself anyway. If I find someone and love her enough to marry her, I'm all hers...

I don't see how it can be important to any of us. How important is a cheeseburger to someone who's lactose intolerant?

HAS EVEN ONE PERSON IN THIS TOPIC ABOUT SEX HAD SEX?

Sorry but I find this very funny :lol:

I don't really know that that kind of love is that makes people want to live their lives together. (?,?)

19 and virgin here - I was close to having sex but had no condoms lol. My mom was also coming home in like 30 mins and the girl got scared and booked it. I don't really mind still being a virgin because its way better than having a baby. Sex is "probably" fun but im not gonna cry all day about not getting any. I do have hands after all. :wink:

Day_Tripper said:

I don't see how it can be important to any of us. How important is a cheeseburger to someone who's lactose intolerant?

Click to expand...

I think I know what you mean: social anxiety and sex are two worlds apart. I can't even open myself up to people and talk to them - how the hell am I going to have sex? I can't imagine myself taking off my clothes in front of another human being. That is just not me. I'm too shy, too self-conscious and too mentally ill.

Argamemnon said:

I can't even open myself up to people and talk to them - how the hell am I going to have sex? I can't imagine myself taking off my clothes in front of another human being. That is just not me. I'm too shy, too self-conscious and too mentally ill.

Click to expand...

Same here.

I am addicted to sex. I have a girlfriend (thank god lol) but I need it all the time to make me feel good about myself. It actually doesn't make me feel good about myself in the long run, but I have this issue of thinking that I need it in order to prove my self-worth or something. I've been working on this in therapy for the past 6 years or so, along with my SA and OCD.

I think sex is great in that it feels good and is fun, and can make you feel good, desirable, attractive, etc. in the short term. But in the long term, I don't know.

I sometimes wonder how I will feel about my girlfriend if we are still together when we're like 60 years old. Will I still want to have sex with her? How much of why I like her is physical/sexual? Will I always need to be with a hot, fit girl to "prove" how "manly" I am and how will that work out when I'm older?

I sometimes even wonder the same type of things present day. I sabotaged a lot of my previous relationships by cheating and stuff, but have worked a lot on fidelity issues with my therapist. Reminding myself that actions have consequences, carrying pictures of my current gf, trying not to drink around people I find desirable, etc. Still, I sometimes lie awake dreading that one day I will cheat on my current gf and fuck the relationship up just like i fucked up all the other ones. Or I ask myself questions that are similar to my "future questions," i.e. "Do i like her for who she is, or is it just the sex?" "Would I still stay with her if she got into an accident an was paralyzed and we couldn't have sex?" etc.

I first had sex when I was like 17 or 18, and I'm 30 now. Before I had sex, I was so excited about it and thought it would make me more mature, help me grow up, that I would truly be "a man," have more confidence, etc., basically that it would sovle all my problems. Well it was great and everything, but it didn't solve any problems whatsoever and because of my poor sense of self-worth and addictive personality, it has actually made my life worse depending on how you look at it.

Im 21, and I've had sex with a few women I met in bars. One-night stands really, never with anyone I cared about. Honestly though, the physical sex is good and all, but to me its really about the inflated sense of self-worth. If I couldn't go into work on Monday morning, brag about it and trick everybody into thinking I was cool, I'd barely care about it.

Don't get me wrong, sex is fun and all, but the difference between good sex and great sex (so I've heard) is feeling. You could fuck like ron jeremy, but if theres no feeling involved, its still just cheap sex.

Interesting replies, so I might not have missed out on something amazing after all. It's all about loving yourself and having confidence, which brings true happiness. Unfortunately, I don't have those.. so having sex wouldn't do anything for me.

I have kind of given up on the idea of romantic relationships after a hard and painful inner struggle, but I´m still afraid of growing old alone and not having a social circle. The thought of not having a social life terrifies me..