How do you fight against it? ;)

SlavSoldier

New member
First I wanted to say,I'm new here,so hello to everyone! :D

Ok,here is my short story :
I am a highly trained ex soldier,fought 4 times in wars,
ranked sgt,sniperman,finished music school and business educated,
I own my own smallfirm,marketing middle-connecting,
nothing big,I live alone ,and I have many friends,and alot of family members,
divorced,a lot of life experience in every possible segment of it,traveled a lot aswell,
been in sports and music all my life,and I must say that even after 26 years,I'm still interested in more and more and more...sounds almost as perfect but there was one little problem... :?

My hyper-activity and a a lot of stress through life(emotional problems,losing friends in war,prison camp,financial troubles,etc..)
brought me to almost a nervs breakdown,and it resulted with panic disorder and maniacal episodes,agressive and impulsive behavior.
Thanks to good perception and a leftovers of my common sense,I was able to see and admit to myself,that there is something wrong with me,and it became obvious to my surrounding,as I was in a pretty difficult situation,unable to talk with my own family,friends,
constant panic attacks for 2 months which didn't picked places and time anymore.

Even that I was afraid of potentional disease,I went to doctors and doctors,cardiologists,oftamologists,etc,untill I came to neurologist who was very experienced in some other parts of medicine,and he sent me to neuropsychiatrist after he finished his exams with me.

I was lucky to have the best europian neuropsychiatrist on my case,and with only few words,he described me my condition.You know the rest....
But as he saw me and i showed a lot of willpower in our conversation,he recommended me to prescribe me a very small dose of meds(I had only half of rivotril which was 0.05 mgwhich is clonazepam,and one fluxilan after lunch,which is anti-depressant) and told me just to continue with a constant training which I perform till present time.

So I did it! ;)
I took that baggage of mine,I accepted my current health state,and I fought with it.
In less then 2 months,I got rid of,almost,the whole mess!
Of course,I still feel a li'l crappy sometimes during a sudden weather changing and I have
that shitty sound in my ears sometimes,when I'm tired,but no trace of trash-metal heartbeats,sweaty hands,heavy breathing,avoiding friends and familiar faces,etc.

It's been 4 years since then,and I feel 99% normal,no thoughts about it anymore,and I find it very easy to talk about what happened to me.

From my own experience and what doctor said to me,we are the ppl who are 'over-touchy*
it is not connected with emberassment,nor organic nature,it is simply an unnatural state of mind which is caused by central nerve system not working correctly,and our organisms not being able to recieve large amounts of stress at once,so it leaks and results as our problem,our mid is sending wrong signals to our bodies.On the other way,it can be result of fears or phobias,but interesting thing is that ,it is always triggered by the same thing,and that thing is,FEAR<<<
We all have fears,I thought that I was a man of steel,but at the end,I saw how wrong I was,cause when the problems stops,and when you put the lights off,then those things like panic disorder,for example,comes out!

What I did was,I took that fear as a weapon,army and sport and my parents of course taught me that.Anger and sadness,hate and shame brought me nowhere.
So I took my new unnatural fears which my mind created itself,and I faced them every single day,so whenever I was called to a hangout with friends for example,I did 300 pushups that day before the evening, and I took one hour of relaxing and thinking about other things,and yes,when I was meeting them<i felt unconfortable,but after 15 mins humor starts,and your mind is carried away with some other things!PooF!

It was more easy day by day!I started to feel alive again,and what gave me even more confidence is the fact that I was able to do it in such a short time!
It requires some hard work,I wont lie,that is for sure,but it pays of!100%

There is no meds which can substitute your own desicions,your own mind activity,your own thoughts!They help,at the start,but it is only a step for YOUR OWN SUCCES!

My psychiatrist told me 'Meds are 5 % of getting healthy,95% is YOU <<< :D

I know that I wrote a novel here,but I really wanted to share this with you all here,cause instead of killing ppl in my past in some mindless wars,I can maybe help someone,and I would really like that,cause we all are young to be in that condition,and we must not let it to follow us through life,cause we will definetly lose those precious spices of life aftre some time.It's never too late,and that means for everyone of us!

I want to know,cause I'm very interested in it,even after 4 years,when I beat my own problem,how do you all fight with it,what motivates you,lets exchange some experiences!

I would really like to know,so feel free to post!

P.S. Sorry for spelling and bad language,my ass is foregneir from Serbia,Belgrade :D
 

creep_x

Well-known member
i liked reading ur post & good to have u here :)
i fight my fears by constantly reminding myself that all my fears are just an illusion & i have to fight them if i want to overcome them
Its like a never-ending battle i think but i hope someday i will win the war
i do that mostly by CBT & also writing diaries
also now i will be making a note of any stressful situation i had & why did it went wrong?(if it did) & what cud i have done to handle it better?
i guess thats it, when i have time i am also going to try self-hypnosis
 
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