How do I get a girlfriend?

GoBlue72

Well-known member
The problem is that having a girlfriend builds both social skills and confidence. Someone who asks this question may very well be ready for a girlfriend, but may not have the required social skills.

I think you both make good points, as I think it could be either way. Yes, someone could simply think having a girlfriend would solve their problems. However, they could also have been socially "awkward" for so long that they don't truly know what to do. Maybe they ARE more ready now, having worked on a lot of their problems socializing. I know this is similar to the boat I feel I'm in. And I think the advice about just talking to more women rather than focusing on the results is what I've taken from a lot of reading lately.

There are tons of people who aren't ready for relationships. But that doesn't stop many of them from getting into one. Whether it's an alcoholic, a supermodel with dependent personality issues, or someone who just got divorced last week. Problem is, social anxiety sometimes by it's very nature can give us an excuse not to look for a relationship when we're feeling overwhelmed.
 

nchurdler

New member
I was very shy as well growing up. I had to go out there and make a conscious effort to change. I came across the seduction community and read the book "the game" then other books. It all really works. There is a science behind social dynamics and human interaction. Step one is get some confidence then get out there and learn to be social. It was a long hard road but now I can get a phone number and a date from MOST women I talk to. Maybe 8 out of 10. Google it or check sites/blogs like Attract A Girlfriend Quality Life With Quality Women Attract A Girlfriend
 

edmundek

New member
I know this is too late... go out and join activities. revamp your image => self-esteem boost. For any physical illness if u might have, really can't be help. Why see the empty half when you can see the half filled part? Always find humor and life will be easier...

Cheers.

KISS Knight
 

Foxface

Well-known member
You don't. You be alone forever... That's just life...

No, I don't know. I guess it's different for everyone. I'm still looking. My chance is slim becuase of my curse.
 

Facethefear

Well-known member
You don't. You be alone forever... That's just life...

No, I don't know. I guess it's different for everyone. I'm still looking. My chance is slim becuase of my curse.

What is your curse? I think you could find a like minded girlfriend. Just don't try for a social butterfly.
 

Foxface

Well-known member
What is your curse? I think you could find a like minded girlfriend. Just don't try for a social butterfly.

It's hard to have a girlfriend, with the faults I have, which is many. I'm also not like most girls, I'm different from most people. I prefer to hang out,be oing outdoors activity, plus I'm a Naturist. Naturists are generally very excepting. But finding one that is for me, that is my type is hard. The person I'm looking for is rare are very specific. It takes someone special to accept me. It's hard to explain. I will probably do up a profile on the type of girl who most likely to accept me. Finding someone who is "normal" would be more than a miracle (whatever that is). I'm shy, and stuff, when I get to kniow someone, I am open. Having a friend would be a different level for me, becuase it's not something I am used to. I don't know how to approch it, know what do to, what to say and not etc. A girl would be really accepting and not judgmental. She would spend a lot of time with me, as I really need to be with someone. She would also be very understanding. Not likely she would be into parties and stuff. It is highly likely that she is very similar to me.

About my curse. It's a misery curse. I don't know what kind, I'm not that smart of curses. I don't even know why I have it. I never used to believe in them, until, a few years, I started piecing it together, how so many things are just a coincidence. Things just happen at the right (wrong) time.

It is pretty predictable, given any scenario, I can predict the outcome.

The curse, has a way of making me miserable, no matter what. If I try to become successful at something, it all ways goes wrong, whether I think it or not, whether I'm positive or not. If I get close to someone, something always happens, like they move away or something.

The curse isn't dangerous and only effects me. I try to maje a new friend, never works out, for some reason or another, they end up hating me, thinking I'm a freak or something. I'm left there thinking, what did I do wrong? Porbably explains why a lot of girls judge me on first look. THe curse sends them a message, they get the feeling, that I'm a creep or weirdo and not someone they want to hang out with. No matter what.

When the curse is up to something, I can usually sense it. I've gone through a lot of ambarresing moments, which I wish not to discuss.

Things just happen for no reason, and always at the right time too. Like I'll be typing something really important, and my Fox will crash. It never crashes any other time. Something that is important to me, it intervenes, nothing I can do about it.

There is so many coincidence, like my speech acting up when I try to explain something, every time. I only get 10% of the information out, and it ends up being vague. I try to explain something, Something happens, someone misunderstands what I say, they often laugh and reticule me. There is always something. I always notice, that when I'm in high spirits. Something ALWAYS happens soon enough. Something embarrassing or upsetting. I hate it when you're in a really good mood, then BAM! Something happens in a split second, your mood is the opposite.

Sometimes, things mysteriously happen without a reasonable explanation. It's hard to prove. Most curses are very good at what they do.

Here's a good one!

I get canker sores on my tongue, usually 1-2 times a year. Anyway. It took me a few years after high school to be ready for a job. As soon as I'm ready for a job. I get canker sores, like nothing. I get one days apart. These canker sores I get are extremely painful and miserable. I can't get a job because of them. I get a few a month, they last a bout a week or two, when it gets better, another comes in a couple of days later. It's been like that ever since December 2010, when I was finally ready for a job. I can't work, because I require so much time off. I could barely work. The pain is paralysing. It brings tears to my eyes.

I go to the doctor and a few specialists. They don't have an answer. Nothing I did differently to make the canker sores go so rapid.

Every time I try to communicate with someone, my speech acts up, where I don't make sense, sometime I make up my own words. I have a Brain Processing Disorder. Something I made up. It's when the brain signals get mixed and your speech and stuff don't work as good. It;s most noticeably when trying to explain something. When I try to make friends. They end up hating me, soon enough. I did nothing to upset them, but they just sense that I'm not someone they should talk to. I wonder where that came from? The curse. You know how you get a feeling out of no where, even though they have done nothing wrong. Yep, the curse. Every time too!

The only thing I've been successful is getting my drivers license, I have a car, and I'm usually good at fixing computers (as long as nothing mysteriously happens to them.

Another example. I bought an external HDD. After I copied all my data too it and the next time I turned it on. Guess what! The disk partition could not be found. Everything had been erased because the table is just gone. I never had that problem before. Lost a crap load of stuff.

It wasn't just the HDD, it ad to do with the external HDD enclosure. How do you explain that? I couldn't. Neither could a few specialists I've talked to, couldn't figure it out. The disk wouldn't even properly format. I had to put my Dad's HDD in the external HDD enclosure, which that one was all I had at the time. I put it in. Same thing happens to my Dad's computer. His business computer. Lost all his emails, documents and stuff. Now he makes sure to have a backup.

I can't have a girlfriend, even a friend because of the curse. I am just meant to be miserable. I've tried everything. No matter what, it ends up in failure.This has been years.

Just like this poor bloke:
Forever With Autism: Would You Date Or Have A Relationship With A Guy Like This?

It is so awful, the stuff I go through.

I hope some of this makes sense.
 

Qurion2

Member
I ended up skipping classes alot, I barely graduated. I've been told by a doctor that I have ADD which makes it more difficult. I have slowly improved but not been cured.

iam smiliar to you here

but what is truly important is that you dont give up on yourself, the inner voice which is able to give you good words aswell, which is able to motivate you is really usefull

friends eh... i have a single one left from secondary school and he moved far away, and we can only met up once in a while and often iam, if we met up, very silent ::(:

what also seems to work for me is making friends trough the net, then meeting them irl
of course this is also a slow process and finding people which are nice is difficult, i only met 4 in 2 yours, 1 left the internet, leaving 3, 1 from singapore, 1 from the netherlands and 1 from spain, the one from spain became my bf.... he seem to love me a lot.... something i cant comprehend becouse it is "just" the internet. he would like to met me, but iam too afraid there, becouse... well, lets say my experience with men is bad :/

you find chances usually especially when you dont expect to have them
also i noticed that you never get what you want, so putting yourself down becouse of that is pointless
i dont know your age, but the places you can met up people is by following your hobbies, may it be card games(i loved to play magic the gathering.... till it got shut down in this town and now idk where i can keep playing it ::(: ) or something extreme like parachutes....... x.x

of course then there is the sp, but thats something we have to face and fight, if we want to get better

iam sorry for the long text, i wrote more then i originally intended :3
 

Foxface

Well-known member
First, we move out west.
2nd. We got a job or something to support ourselves. Rent a house or an apartment, whichever you like. Easier then buying a house, and cheaper too, I think.

Finding a mate. This part, I'm not that experienced on, took me years, and still lots more to learn.

You go to sites like this, and ask if there is anyone in your city. You talk tot hat person, since you meet someone in this site, it should be easier, as you both have social anxiety, and therefore, understand each other better. Almost impossible to make friends with non-social anxiety people, when you have it.

I recommend Ontario. Ontario is the province with by far, the most people I've come across with on-line from Canada, BC is the 2nd. You have more chance of finding someone.

There is no one in The Maritimes, at least not in Nova Scotia, same old thing, every is pretty much the same. Trust me, been looking for many years.

When you contact a mate you like, you develop deeper and talk about more things. Eventually, after knowing her for a month or two, you decide to meet, at a public place. Take a tour of the city by yourselves, go out, get some food etc. Then you date and eventually get married after a year or two.

Don't take things fast, and don't reveal everything in the first conversation. Even for people with Autism or social anxiety, it can be hard and depressing for them. I'm still learning with that, but getting better. There are a lot of cool girls in Ontario. Ontario has some of the best Naturist resorts in the world, which is another reason I love it.

The closest I've been to Ontario was Quebec. I was only in Quebec for a weekend. The thing stopping me from moving to Ontario, is that I don't have a lot of money, or no plans to buy or rent a house. I don't know the area that well.If I had more money, no canker sores, I would go ASAP.

Lots of single girls, in Ontario, cool girls, legit girls. Much better chance of finding a girl who likes you and accepts you for who you are there. I've came across tons. One of my best friends lives in Ontario, she is an awesome person. I don't have too many friends.
 

stever

Member
Hey, no girl is going to solve your problems...meeting women is a skill...Those who call themselves "naturals" learned the skill early in their life and just forgot how.

You can read about it but eventually you have to get out there and learn from your experience!
 

jaim38

Well-known member
Getting a girlfriend will not magically make all your problems go away. Real change has to come from within.
 

sullyS25

Well-known member
Maybe you should work on yourself first then the girlfriend will come as a result of you learning to love yourself for who you are. That has been my story.
 

Hellhound

Super Moderator
Go into therapy until you have your anxiety under control and are able to have conversations with girls. Meet a lot of girls and have lots of conversations with them. Eventually, something will happen with one of them. Oh, and it's important to talk to all types of girls. "Nice guys" have a tendency to go after one type and then judge the entire female populace based on their experiences with that one type. Be better than that.

Haha. I know, right?

It was a long hard road but now I can get a phone number and a date from MOST women I talk to. Maybe 8 out of 10. Google it or check sites/blogs like Attract A Girlfriend Quality Life With Quality Women Attract A Girlfriend

This comes off as "how to train a dog" or like... a guide to buy groceries, or something. Do any of you actually care about your partner or are they collectables to you? Or trophies?

Geez...

You don't. You be alone forever... That's just life...

Very encouraging.

Maybe you should work on yourself first then the girlfriend will come as a result of you learning to love yourself for who you are..

Makes sense. You should work on your issues first, not only because a girlfriend isn't going to make your anxiety go away, but because it wouldn't be fair to your girl to be in the position of having to solve your problems.

Besides, in my opinion, you don't just "get a girlfriend". That usually happens without you expecting it. Making friends is a start, then try to get close to them, which can be complicated and it takes time, but it's worth it in the end.
 
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coyote

Well-known member
1. go outside

2. do some stuff

3. meet some people

4. spend time with the ones you like

5. ask the one you like best to spend time alone

6. hire an attorney
 
1. go outside

2. do some stuff

3. meet some people

4. spend time with the ones you like

5. ask the one you like best to spend time alone

6. hire an attorney


^:applause::bigsmile:


(btw people, the OP made this thread in 2007. I don't think he is around to read your valuable advice anyway:sad:)
 

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
Re: My way has less steps!

1. Buy one of these:

Net-Gun-Capture4.jpg


2. Rent a helicopter.

net_gun_13_gotcha.jpg


Simple.
 
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