How do I get a girlfriend?

Hi I'm a new member, I'd like to tell you about myself. As a child I was pretty quiet, but I always managed to make some friends, but around age 11 I became extremely shy, completely afraid of people in highschool I had no friends, I didn't do homework many times because I couldn't ask for help. I ended up skipping classes alot, I barely graduated. I've been told by a doctor that I have ADD which makes it more difficult. I have slowly improved but not been cured.

I'm really worried that I'll never be free, or that I wont move forward in life because I am alone, I cant make friends because I don't talk, I never have anything interesting to say. The worst is at work often times I wish I didn't have to work [the only place I have to be around people], but I need money. How can someone like me live life, often I've wished for a quick death, but thats basically impossible and most of all wrong.

Can someone give me some advice please, I just wish I could find a nice girl to give my life a purpose and make me feel joy, I'm sure then I would be more compelled to be more outgoing, or at the least be happy.
 

midnightlotus

New member
I know how you feel. I've been shy for quite a long time, though I don't think I was always this way. I'm 30 now and year it become increasing difficult to be a part of the rest of the world, or feel at ease in anyway with anyone, even in relationships.
Trust me on this one thing though. As much as you think having someone in special in your life with compell you to be the person you want to be, it might not.
Millions of relationshipsv later searching for the same thing, I find myself 30, divorced, more socially phobic than ever before.
Find comfort and trust in who you are, and you'll find somebody that loves you regardless of your social inabilities, but there is no one out there that can make you be the person you want to be other than yourself.
 
"You can't love others until you love yourself"

Sounds cheesy but it's true! You can't rely on other people to bring you happiness. You gotta make YOURSELF happy first, then everything just seems to fall into place. Once you realize how awesome you are there will be nothing holding you back from getting a girlfriend!
 

JonnyD_

Well-known member
lettypagb said:
I dunno ,go to some girl and ask her .
listem to letty, you have nothing to worry - if you don't try you won't ever learn , take that before you turn 20 :)

but seriously, if you put your own happines in others hands, you're asking to get hurt
 

voodoochild16

Well-known member
I dunno ,go to some girl and ask her .

I'm aware of how old this thread is but I just have to say that saying **** like that only makes the author of the thread feel worse. Think of something better to say damnit.

For me it's to make a plan, and engage in that plan. If not done, I will remain in this same place. Coping with being alone, single etc. It's still hard even with that said but being used to myself, enjoying being alone as much as i can, is all i can do until the plan I have made will work. You are not alone man and remember that hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things.
 

boro

Well-known member
I wish I could tell you theres an easily followable step by step process but in my experience there isnt, not that ive had a whole lot. However for someone in our situation one of the most important things I think is to not overdo it if you do meet someone your interested in. By that I mean dont be too needy or pushy with the relationship and focus on it too much. If you find you have no other social outlet then this may be a natural outcome. Not a good one for either of you. Just find something to occupy your time away from the girl of your dreams if she comes along.
 

replica

Well-known member
By not looking for one, well that's the theory I'm practicing at the moment. I've turned my focus to something else which gives me far more rewards.
 
Lesbians_bisexuals.jpg
 

Minty

Well-known member
Go into therapy until you have your anxiety under control and are able to have conversations with girls. Meet a lot of girls and have lots of conversations with them. Eventually, something will happen with one of them. Oh, and it's important to talk to all types of girls. "Nice guys" have a tendency to go after one type and then judge the entire female populace based on their experiences with that one type. Be better than that.
 

Feathers

Well-known member
He he, come to the antiValentinez party and see if there's someone there? :D

Just kiddin'! Who knows tho?

Great creativity, guys! Probably not gonna invent a rocket ship today, there are even books and courses on the topic though (and some old threads give tips too!), so if the OP or anyone else wants to learn, there's plenty of things one can do to maximize your chances!

It's good to join any activities where people your age hang out, make friends... maybe church group or volunteering or hiking groups, eco club... depends what you are interested in and like doing... and so that there's mixed company.. :) or you could maybe even help start something interesting where you live or travel? You can meet people on trips or events outside your hometown too! Have you tried online dating? What have you tried already?
 

Felgen

Well-known member
It strikes me that someone seriously asking this question probably isn't actually ready to have a girlfriend, and would do well to follow point #5 of this sticky.

The problem is that having a girlfriend builds both social skills and confidence. Someone who asks this question may very well be ready for a girlfriend, but may not have the required social skills.
 
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