How can you tell the difference...

...between a part of yourself you can change in order to have better social experiences, and a part of yourself that others will just have to suck up because it's just the way you are?

................

I ask myself this all the time.. I'm a perfectionist. and which parts of me are due to social anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and are good without it.. and what just simply sucks.. as u said..

That is a difficult question, and I was stuck, I couldn't think of an answer... until I realized that we can actually even change the way we are. Isn't that what is done with psychotherapy? You are insecure, that's the way you ARE, but after the therapy, you can feel more confident and react differently to whatever happens in your life, so you ARE different, you changed, you improved.
As far as I know, in my opinion the only thing that is impossible to change is our neurological sensitivity, so if we are sensitive we can't become "insensitive" to stress, you know. But every other aspect of our personalities can potentially be changed, at least in theory. After all, don't people usually "change" during their lives? You know, life-changing experiences do exist, people can change their minds for any reason, at any time, about anything.