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Ah think ah might take up alcoholism as my new hobby.

I'm utterly f*ckin' miserable, but I'm forever being telt that how ah feel isn't valid. And that I ..."shouldnae feel that way" or "or don't actually mean that" "Whit huv you got to be depressed about?" Well, live my life for a day and ya might come up with a couple reasons. Despite the common assumption by some, disabled folk aren't living a feckin' life of luxury.

On top o' aw that ah've got mair responsibility to take on board, cuz my mother is still refusing to change her ways. She's great at saying that, but never actually does it. Me and my oldest sister are "just nagging" whenever we point out how much per week our mother is wasting on groceries that end up having to be thrown out.

As if trying to care for myself wasn't hard enough already...
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I'm feeling really frustrated. I just can't be positive lately - my energy sucks.

I hate being the ugly gross girl at the gym who is red faced and dripping sweat when I am surrounded by attractive guys who would never even consider me. They're all too busy looking at those pretty girls who show up in a full face of makeup, life weights for 15 minutes and are somehow in much better shape than me.

I can't just respect myself for taking the 2 buses it takes to get there and showing up in the first place. No, I have to hate myself for not being perfect. Ugh.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PugofCrydee View Post
Been sick twice in the last 2 weeks, then got a stye in my eye and its scratched my eye, really painful. Now thats settling down I've woken up with back pain this morning , the pain is in my glutes and is shooting down the back of my legs . Not sure why. Maybe I should stop doing acrobatical backflips every morning...

Also feeling flat emotionally and I have an 8 hour work day ahead of me.
Apart from that.... I'm great.

I'm sorry you're feeing under the weather, Pug.
For your recurring sickness (A cold, I'm guessing?), I would recommend zinc. It will reduce your sick time by quite a bit.

For your stye, I would suggest applying warm compresses a few times daily.

Now for your back, have you been stretching? Don't push yourself too much, but a good stretch would be a cat cow pose stretch. Maybe while your head is down in that position you could gently move it in circles, too.


I hope this helps
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I hate my life.
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Originally Posted by onehandclapping View Post
I hate my life.
You and me both, pal.

Someone would have to already be insane to live the life I've got and not go crazy.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by onehandclapping View Post
I hate my life.
Do you feel guilty for not being able to make your life a good one? I do.

I hate ME.

If I did not develop SP, I could have done all sorts of things with my life to make it a fairly good one.
In the beginning I was headed towards a "normal" life.
Everyday I wonder what life I would be living today, if only my "train" wasn't pushed off the tracks and crashed, damaged beyond repair.
.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueDays View Post
Do you feel guilty for not being able to make your life a good one? I do.

If I did not develop SP, I could have done all sorts of things with my life to make it a fairly good one.
In the beginning I was headed towards a "normal" life.
Everyday I wonder what life I would be living today, if only my "train" wasn't pushed off the tracks and crashed, damaged beyond repair.
F*ck, thatís hits way too close to home for me.
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Nowt goes right for me... Something always has to go wrong.

And my family think Iíve got an easy life ? Ha! I beg tae f*ckiní differ on that yin. Cuz it sure ainít easy having fix a problem that someone else in yer family has created by not being honest with ye. But then me - the quiet, shy, timid, freckle-faced fanny. Itís me who frequently flees off the handle and throws a hissy fit when the slightest thing goes wrong? No, wait... thatís my older sister.

Still, itíd be nice to telt things upfront - just once if nothing else. Rather than make me feel like an absolute eejit for wrongful assuming that ah wus doing the right thing.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FountainandFairfax View Post
Someone would have to already be insane to live the life I've got and not go crazy.
So are you insane, or are you crazy?
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It DID help Sarah.... LOL.

I have been feeling down, but this made me smile.. you made me smile
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PugofCrydee View Post
It DID help Sarah.... LOL.

I have been feeling down, but this made me smile.. you made me smile
Good, that's all I ever want to do
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If I were a tree, I'd have no reason to love a human.
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I'm having crazy mood swings today. This is nothing new, and the occasional rush of euphoria is nice. But I'm feeling very stressed. I have been wanting to find more ways to get active in my community and volunteer more, but my social anxiety keeps butting in. I actually have mild panic attacks when I try to do it sometimes. I know it's a real condition and I shouldn't beat myself up about it, but I have so much in my life and I've been so lucky that I feel awful for not doing more to make things better for other people.

I'm also having social media woes. I really like using Facebook, and most of my interactions there are very positive. (I set a rule a while ago of only discussing anything substantial or controversial with my own FB friends, because they are known quantities. Virtual conversations with strangers can turn ugly fast.) But I still am not sure it's healthy. I find myself getting stressed about conversations and wanting to keep checking in -- of course, FB is designed to be addictive. But I know I would miss it a lot if I tried to give it up. It's one of my few real outlets. And someone I know well went off on me the other day, completely unnecessarily, and I can't get it out of my head.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PeterO View Post
I'm having crazy mood swings today. This is nothing new, and the occasional rush of euphoria is nice. But I'm feeling very stressed. I have been wanting to find more ways to get active in my community and volunteer more, but my social anxiety keeps butting in. I actually have mild panic attacks when I try to do it sometimes. I know it's a real condition and I shouldn't beat myself up about it, but I have so much in my life and I've been so lucky that I feel awful for not doing more to make things better for other people.

I'm also having social media woes. I really like using Facebook, and most of my interactions there are very positive. (I set a rule a while ago of only discussing anything substantial or controversial with my own FB friends, because they are known quantities. Virtual conversations with strangers can turn ugly fast.) But I still am not sure it's healthy. I find myself getting stressed about conversations and wanting to keep checking in -- of course, FB is designed to be addictive. But I know I would miss it a lot if I tried to give it up. It's one of my few real outlets. And someone I know well went off on me the other day, completely unnecessarily, and I can't get it out of my head.
Don't torture yourself Peter, surely you're doing eveything you can (sometimes what we want doesn't match what we can), keep working on your SA and eventually you'll be able to do more. Buildings are made from the base, stop focusing on the roof when the base is crumbling. First things first, take care of yourself and then help others.

Why don't you set up certain hours to check Facebook, would be hard at first but eventually you'll get used to it and won't be so obsessed with it.
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Okay, so......

Yesterday I met the roommate of some friend of mine, we've had a game of chess, at first it seemed to be a stalemate, which eventually led to a checkmate. He was so pissed, that he wanted to punch me in the head. Then I threatened to call the bobbies on him : "Mate, do you really want to end up as an inmate with some nutter cellmate?". And then I realized that friend was in fact me, and I was playing against my own soulmate. My bad side had just taken over my good side, the prison was my brain and the bobbies were the shrinks.

I think I am starting to become crazy.
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Okay, so......

Yesterday I met the roommate of some friend of mine, we've had a game of chess, at first it seemed to be a stalemate, which eventually led to a checkmate. He was so pissed, that he wanted to punch me in the head. Then I threatened to call the bobbies on him : "Mate, do you really want to end up as an inmate with some nutter cellmate?". And then I realized that friend was in fact me, and I was playing against my own soulmate. My bad side had just taken over my good side, the prison was my brain and the bobbies were the shrinks.

I think I am starting to become crazy.
Well, this post almost drove me crazy too, because i read "boobies" instead of "bobbies" and i was like: Why?

I thought "boobies" meant "tits" so i've been googling different meanings to that word and literally searched for the expression "Call boobies on someone" at first i thought it would be something like "relax your tits" or maybe it's a threat and he's going to hit him with his tits" (tho u certainly don't look fat enough to be able to do that xD)

BUT then i reached the part where you say
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jungle View Post
the prison was my brain and the bobbies were the shrinks.
and since i'm a piece of shit, i read again "boobies" and i was like: WHY!!?

But then, on my 24th attempt i finially realized it was: Bobbies. And tho i didn't know that word either, i googled it and i guessed that's the way you say "police", and everything came back to normal...more or less

Sorry for all this, hope you're feeling better Jungle!

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Is really ****ing pissed right now. Like, I'm going to explode.
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Quote:
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Is really ****ing pissed right now. Like, I'm going to explode.
Sorry to hear that. Want to vent?
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I got the motivation to do things, but none of the energy to physically follow through. Havenít had a decent night sleep for the few days. My mother says she been exactly the same lately. But then, sheís probably thinking the same thing as me...
Nearly a year on from our lives going down the pan, and things still have yet to change or get back to some sense of normalcy
I wonder if my mum has that same feeling of despair at the prospect of Christmas this year, like I do? Cuz last year was... unpleasant to put it nicely. But then Iíve never quite figured out how exactly you engage in conversation with folk who tend to be overly aggressive.
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Another week before I can see if I can drive again.
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