How are you feeling?

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Things seems to going well

Oops! Spoke too soon when ah said things appear to be going well. That wus until today, when my older sister started a argument over a portion of fried f*ckin’ rice during dinner! We’d order takeaway and the Chinese restaurant gave us 3 portion as opposed to 4 — that was what the argument was about. A extra portion of rice. :kickingmyself: No joking either... :eek:mg:

She made this big deal about it, anaw. No thanks for dinner, nae gratitude. Naw! Just yet another unbelievable WTF moment worthy of a sitcom. Ah don’t know whether to laugh at the absurdity, or cry at the despair of being related to such a difficult, temperamental sibling. :sad: Scratch that, she’s a teenager in her mid-30s. Cuz she sure as f*ck rarely responds to criticism or mistakes, when someone else makes them, like an adult. I’m more mature, and I’m a total spastic. :idontknow:
 
Playing a live cream concert. F*ckin kick-a$s man. Not much between Clapton and Hendrix here. Awesome solo's. F*cking AWESOME.
I'm THANKFUL to the endless, mind-numbing boredom, for getting me to play such fine, awesome music :thumbup: (& getting me to drink). Cheers, boredom, i salute you!!! (& cheers also to my SA/SP & isolated lifestyle & my many other problems!)
 
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Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
You did say 'Things seem to going well - jinx!' :bigsmile:

I know... Damn my sarcastic wit! :bigsmile:

Och well! At least now I’ve got a justifiable excuse to avoid sitting at the dinner table this Christmas. It’s amazing how my family don’t see how their behaviour and overreacting is why I’m so anxious. :eek:mg: Anyway, back to questioning my purpose in life. :sad:
 
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Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Just numb, empty. Like every moment where ah should be happy is somehow undeserved. :sad: Ah feel like I’m being judged negatively by ma family for being tough and not stooping to their level of arguing and refusing to admit when I’m wrong. Like ah should be constantly sympathetic towards them for acting so immaturely. :eek:h:
 

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
I'm happy now that I saw this:

33964424_1872357779493265_8006337480951332864_o.jpg
 
I googled -> "nothing to do", but nothing interested or pertains to me, in the pages i opened. I have very very narrow interests nowadays. :sad:

And all the things seems WAY too much of a hassle to do. I prefer easy, no-stress, straight-forward things.
 
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Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Slowly but surely trying to re-establish a daily routine for myself. Instead of doing nothing, except sleeping until well beyond midday. As has been my routine for past 2 months.

I’m trying to get back into making music, but kinda struggling with it. I seem to be starting ideas but rarely turn them into proper songs. :idontknow:
 
I've created a document called "Nothing to do". In it i will put lists that i find from "nothing to do" links (found via google). Next to each item i will write the excuse/hurdle to NOT do it. I'm hoping, after several (or even many) such pages found web, that i will find some activities that i CAN do.

Under each "possibility" is
EXCUSE/HURDLE:
ENABLER:

I might even put some things of mine in there too (those activities that i keep putting off, never wanting to do, eg playing songs on my acoustic guitar)
 
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Sick of drinking beer
Sick of being in here
Sick of living a life of fear
Sick of hardly ever going anywhere
Sick of having no cheer
Sick of staying in first gear
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
:kickingmyself:

Well, ah finally had enough n' snapped. :veryangry: After overhearing yet another feckin' argument, I told my mother that am no tolerating these petty arguments that my older sister seems to spoil for a daily basis. :eek:mg:

So I've made it clear that I'm moving out. To hell with getting my name on the lease, or this manipulative pish about...
"Oh, but ah cun change... Gimme another chance!" :praying:​

F*ck that! I got that exact same promise made to me after I got my surgery 2 years ago... and here we are 2 years on from that.
And still nuthin' has changed. F*ckin' hud enuff o' it like.
 
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