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Old 1 Week Ago
PugofCrydee's Avatar
Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiwong View Post
Going for gold in the exposure games. I am going to sing and play my guitar at the work overnight get together. I don't care if I suck, I am going to do this.
Go Wong! Expose yourself!!
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Old 1 Week Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PugofCrydee View Post
Go Wong! Expose yourself!!
FULL DISCLOSURE ... i mean EXPOSURE ... i mean .......... EXCEL yourself ... put your best foot forward!!!
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Old 1 Week Ago
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Want action, QUICK!
_(Of what kind? audio? physical? mental? emotional? sensory? chemical?)
_> Ufomammut - Idolum (album; heavy, but not TOO violent, to start-off with; ~34m want crazier/wilder?; violent comp game?) (10's)
___+ Drinking + Crisps/crackers/choc/etc
__ Ufomammut - ORO: Opus Alter (album; would QUEEN be as/more intense/wild/etc in some ways??) + (") (10's)
__ Queen - Greatest Hits (1) [1 hour long] (yes, it would be, as i thought ) + (") (70s/80s)
__ Queen - Greatest Hits (2) [1 hour 20 minutes long] (49m) + (") (70s/80s)
__ Bruford - Gradually Going Tornado (4-5 songs) + (") (70s/80s)
__ King Crimson 21st Century Schizoid Man Live (song) + (") (70s)
__ King Crimson - Vrooom (song) + (") (70s)
__ King Crimson - Thrak (song) + (") (70s)
__ King Crimson - Larks' Tongues in Aspic (song) + (") (70s)
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Old 1 Week Ago
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Hie ye hence from me heath!
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Torn between independence and stay in a situation that makes me miserable. Purely for financial reasons. Don't what to do.

Ye sure can tell a lot about folk by how they treat others.

For example, yesterday, when I merely asked why ah wus'nae told about something, she angrily responded with:
"Well, it doesnae matter"
Don't what that says to you lot, but to me it speaks about the son she supposed cares so much about. In other words: You don't matter.
But hey, I'm just like ma Dad so should be treated as such - like sh!*e. Oh, but it's not nice when I do it to them... Is it f*ck !
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Old 1 Week Ago
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Locked out of society.
Like a rat, forced to live in an outside drain. Only able to come out at night and forage for dropped crumbs and discarded scraps of food, that nobody in society wants.
If a member of society happens to come across me, looks down and notices me scurrying along the ground - a fierce expression of disgust and hatred immediately forms on their face.
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Old 1 Week Ago
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Action is WHAT? movement? shifting? change? escape? social?
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Old 1 Week Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by theslowesthand View Post
Action is WHAT? movement? shifting? change? escape? social?
depends on what context the word action is being used.
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Old 1 Week Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PugofCrydee View Post
depends on what context the word action is being used.
The context is simply: 'I want action' (ie feeling restless/bored/sth)
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Old 1 Week Ago
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First aid course today. Resuscitation dummies, putting bandages on, assessing and treating patients. I passed glad it was over for another 3 years.
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Old 6 Days Ago
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Happier in the last few days than Iíve been in about 10 months.
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Old 6 Days Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueDays View Post
Locked out of society.
Like a rat, forced to live in an outside drain. Only able to come out at night and forage for dropped crumbs and discarded scraps of food, that nobody in society wants.
If a member of society happens to come across me, looks down and notices me scurrying along the ground - a fierce expression of disgust and hatred immediately forms on their face.
The world is such a mean place for some of us. I can relate so much BlueDays. I have been feeding off crumbs, too. Hiding away more than locked. I prefer to think of it as a Monks existence more than a rat myself.

I think those who live happy, productive, successful lives in society are lucky. But...They wouldn't last a second in our shoes. They are so used to coasting through everything, acting unconsciously all the while. I think most all of those people have their heads up their a$$ so that makes it less bitter when I think about it. Tell them some real truths about the world and they would not know what to do. The more I learn the less I wish I knew. I thought it was supposed to work the opposite? All we can really do is take it day by day. That's what I know for sure. There's no thinking of the future for us rats, anyways!
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Old 6 Days Ago
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Looks like Iíve got another sleepless night ahead of me.

Thankfully itís not cuz am worried about something. So that makes a nice change. Just me overthinking, wondering why Iím considered likeable. Planning my day ahead of time. Creative ideas and what not.

On top of aw that, Iím quite apprehensive about making music again, doubting my ability as Iím prone to doing. Still, Iím trying to be optimistic that I know enough to teach my oldest sister how to play bass guitar. Sheís wanting to start lessons by the beginning of next month at the latest.
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Old 6 Days Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Graeme1988 View Post
Looks like Iíve got another sleepless night ahead of me.

Thankfully itís not cuz am worried about something. So that makes a nice change. Just me overthinking, wondering why Iím considered likeable. Planning my day ahead of time. Creative ideas and what not.

On top of aw that, Iím quite apprehensive about making music again, doubting my ability as Iím prone to doing. Still, Iím trying to be optimistic that I know enough to teach my oldest sister how to play bass guitar. Sheís wanting to start lessons by the beginning of next month at the latest.
Have you tried very peaceful music to help you get to sleep when you are "overthinking", Graeme? Something with the sounds of water flowing and/or frogs/crickets chirping, so you can focus on the calming sounds of nature?

Did your older sister actually "ask" you teach her bass guitar, or just "tell" you do it, without respecting your time and desires?
Given the past troubled history with your older sister, I fear that you spending extra time with her - while she may often be getting cranky because she is frustrated, and finding it extremely difficult to learn a new instrument - may be like putting gasoline on a fire.
Just remember Graeme that you would be doing her a favour, so don't allow her to bring down your mental health by using verbal abuse towards you when she gets frustrated, ok?
Maybe inform her from the very beginning that if you she fights with you, you will stop her guitar lessons, until she promises not to abuse you.
You need to look after/protect your mental health Graeme, because she doesn't seem to care about it.
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Old 6 Days Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueDays View Post
Have you tried very peaceful music to help you get to sleep when you are "overthinking", Graeme? Something with the sounds of water flowing and/or frogs/crickets chirping, so you can focus on the calming sounds of nature?
Used to, but haven’t so much lately.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueDays View Post
Did your older sister actually "ask" you teach her bass guitar, or just "tell" you do it, without respecting your time and desires?
Given the past troubled history with your older sister, I fear that you spending extra time with her - while she may often be getting cranky because she is frustrated, and finding it extremely difficult to learn a new instrument - may be like putting gasoline on a fire.
Just remember Graeme that you would be doing her a favour, so don't allow her to bring down your mental health by using verbal abuse towards you when she gets frustrated, ok?
Maybe inform her from the very beginning that if you she fights with you, you will stop her guitar lessons, until she promises not to abuse you.
You need to look after/protect your mental health Graeme, because she doesn't seem to care about it.
No worries, it’s my oldest sister. The one who actually likes me, not the youngest of my 2 older sisters who, I feel, resents me. And my oldest sibling was the one who asked me to give her bass guitar, shortly after we’d been to a concert together. So she didn’t tell me to do it. That said she had been pestering me to teach her since I’d quit playing briefly for 2 years, aged 16.

If anything, I was telling her. Because I made it clear that the lessons aren’t going to be as easy as she used to think when she’d listen to me playing. As she tends to overestimate what she can do until put on the spot. Oh, and not to waste my time with the lessons. As the last person I attempted to teach guitar to quit on me after 2 weeks saying it was too difficult.

So if she doesn’t persevere beyond one lesson, I’ve advised her to quit even before we begin. Because I’m not setting aside time that I could spend writing and recording music to waste it on lessons that were for nothing. As for arguments, I’ve been playing guitar for 16 years... D’ye think she’d be that arrogant to tell me I’m wrong when it comes to how to play the bass guitar? That said, she gonna get quite the surprise when she see how much my guitar playing has improved since she watched me playing the guitar. So, that’ll defuse any potential fights.



Had it actually been my older sister - good one, btw - then aye, we wouldnae get beyond the first lesson. Cuz she’d be constantly questioning me, and telling me I’m wrong when I’m right. But, thankfully it’s not her... She doesn’t share my taste in music enough to want to learn either the electric or bass guitar anyway. Thinks most of what I listen to is “shite” anyway. And she can’t quite comprehend how or why I’d listen to or be a fan if stuff that she likes as well which is ”outside” the rock/metal genre.
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Old 6 Days Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueDays View Post
Like a rat, forced to live in an outside drain. Only able to come out at night and forage for dropped crumbs and discarded scraps of food, that nobody in society wants
Myself, i feel more like a rat in a cage, running constantly on the treadmill, but going nowhere.
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Old 6 Days Ago
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Went for my 2nd flat viewing. I think it went well. But i am a nervous wreck now, after a 2hr wellness course, that, & shopping. So i am drinking & snacking more than usual this afternoon & tonight. On my 4th can & 3rd glass, which is a tad more than my usual day.
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Old 6 Days Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PugofCrydee View Post
Go Wong! Expose yourself!!
Thanks Pug, I have been encouraged by my sister reckoning I don't sound too bad. But the idea is you experience the situation whether it goes well or not.
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Old 6 Days Ago
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Slept in until half past one this afternoon. Repeatedly got guff from ma mother and niece for it.
"Whit time d'ye call this? It's no bedtime, Graeme. Ah thought ye were up?"
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Old 6 Days Ago
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Knew those last 3 days were too good to be true. Nowt ever lasts for me as far as being content n' relax. Never does, unless I'm outta town. Always on f*ckin' edge or being nagged at.

My oldest sister is the only person who actually treats me like family.
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Old 5 Days Ago
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Bad day. Been suffering all throughout it. Basically am depressed. Reacting to previous days events. Also hangover. Have gone to bed really early (6.30 pm). All i can do is listen to gentle classical music in the dark & and eventually drift off to sleep in a few hours.
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