PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
I feel like hugging someone, lol, because hugging myself is just getting too *insert word* and I just end up making out with myself anyways, lol.
haha
How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
haha
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
I hate reality, I think I'll leave.
theslowesthand
Banned
'But where would you go???' Pooh asks :question:
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Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Just... sad, I guess. And upset. Sad that this year turned out the way it did for me. :sad: And I had a period there where things were going great - I rediscovered my creative spark, and was having a great time making my music own again.
Then... everything just went to shite - even my wee summer break to Edinburgh with my sister wasn't as memorable this year. :crying: All because my older sister's marriage ended and she moved back home. Since then it's just been this terrifying mix of stress, anxiety and depression. Terrfying cuz of how low that takes us, and speak about it has only ever made my anxiety and depression worse.
How are you supposed to get through to people who see your problems as less deserving of sympathy than theirs, and treat you with contempt and hostility as a result? :idontknow:
Then... everything just went to shite - even my wee summer break to Edinburgh with my sister wasn't as memorable this year. :crying: All because my older sister's marriage ended and she moved back home. Since then it's just been this terrifying mix of stress, anxiety and depression. Terrfying cuz of how low that takes us, and speak about it has only ever made my anxiety and depression worse.
How are you supposed to get through to people who see your problems as less deserving of sympathy than theirs, and treat you with contempt and hostility as a result? :idontknow:
BlueDays
1
"Harden up" is an excellent thing for a person to say to someone who has problems - that that person who said it - simply can't be bothered to deal with. :
:It puts the onus back onto the person suffering the problems and excuses the person who said it, from having to do anything at all. Then, in their selfish little minds, allows them to simply ignore it. :thumbdown:
"Harden up".... The statement that selfish, lazy people who don't give a sh%t about anyone but themselves to give to other people - who are interrupting THEIR important lives - to shut them up.
BlueDays
1
Can I come too? :sad:
It would be great if humans could survive with just eating common grass.
Then it would be so much easier to go off the grid and live outside of this screwed-up society.
cappatown420
Well-known member
I'm waiting to go to work... my ex upset me and I was crying while getting ready. I hate that.
Good thing about work is I get so nervous over it (talking to people, running a till) that last time I worked he didn't even cross my mind. Hope that happens tonight.
Feeling depressed, honestly like I don't want to even be alive. But I failed at Overdosing 3 different times, so I guess my body is stronger than I thought.
Good thing about work is I get so nervous over it (talking to people, running a till) that last time I worked he didn't even cross my mind. Hope that happens tonight.
Feeling depressed, honestly like I don't want to even be alive. But I failed at Overdosing 3 different times, so I guess my body is stronger than I thought.
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
Love your avatar pic.
I'm never going to judge you about trying to 'opt out'. I've been on the edge of it more times than I can count.
I will say though, try to hang in there as things may change. That thought is usually the only thing that stops me from going through with opting out.
I feel very frustrated. One of the very first messages I received growing up from my father was: "I can't love you because you're not pretty enough" - this has haunted me my whole life.
Patients at work tell me all the time I am beautiful; I had someone today say: "the criteria of working here must be that you have to be good looking". The people saying this are usually older, though, so I brush it off - I think they can somehow sense my insecurity, so to be nice, they flatter me.
I look in the mirror and I am FAR from how I want to look and it basically kills me. I go to the gym 3 days/week, I am almost entirely vegan, and my job is active. I buy expensive makeup/skin care stuff and still, I feel like the ugliest person. I find myself thinking that I am too ugly for anyone to love me in any REAL way and it hurts - it hurts really ****ing bad.
Patients at work tell me all the time I am beautiful; I had someone today say: "the criteria of working here must be that you have to be good looking". The people saying this are usually older, though, so I brush it off - I think they can somehow sense my insecurity, so to be nice, they flatter me.
I look in the mirror and I am FAR from how I want to look and it basically kills me. I go to the gym 3 days/week, I am almost entirely vegan, and my job is active. I buy expensive makeup/skin care stuff and still, I feel like the ugliest person. I find myself thinking that I am too ugly for anyone to love me in any REAL way and it hurts - it hurts really ****ing bad.
theslowesthand
Banned
Well, i'm not saying this to flatter you, but judging from your vampire pic you recently posted (which i saved offline cause i like it
), you look like an attractive woman. That's a good look you had there.Perhaps you have a spot of BDD? I've always struggled with my looks.
I think the key is finding the "look" that suits oneself.
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
I get what you mean. I have been told I'm 'good looking' but I feel so damn ugly. I have had people say to me 'that chick was sooo checking you out' but I don't think so.
I guess it's hard to feel beautiful on the outside when it feels ugly on the inside. Weird thing is, I'm ok with who I am on the inside.
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
Well, i'm not saying this to flatter you, but judging from your vampire pic you recently posted (which i saved offline cause i like it
Stalker alert!!!
haha just jokes
Hot_Tamale
Well-known member
@Jinxed
I'm sorry about your Dad's issue, whatever it may be. But how would we grow emotionally as humans if things were kept easy or at the status quo our whole lives? Fires in your life can either define you or they can refine you into something better than before, just like gold is put through immense heat to erase it's impurities.
I'm sorry about your Dad's issue, whatever it may be. But how would we grow emotionally as humans if things were kept easy or at the status quo our whole lives? Fires in your life can either define you or they can refine you into something better than before, just like gold is put through immense heat to erase it's impurities.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Don't know how I should feel anymore. :idontknow: :sad:
My immediate family are a bunch of narcissistic bitches who lack empathy and compassion. And they sure as f*ck huv a schizophrenic, misguided idea of how ya should treat a man, beit a relative or otherwise. :kickingmyself: They treat me like crap, then expect me to "respect" 'em... Naw! Doesnae quite work like that. Sorry (not sorry). :thumbdown:
My immediate family are a bunch of narcissistic bitches who lack empathy and compassion. And they sure as f*ck huv a schizophrenic, misguided idea of how ya should treat a man, beit a relative or otherwise. :kickingmyself: They treat me like crap, then expect me to "respect" 'em... Naw! Doesnae quite work like that. Sorry (not sorry). :thumbdown:
Hot_Tamale
Well-known member
I don't know what it feels like to lose a close family member? Or I don't know what it feels like to watch someone close to me suffer? Maybe my experience differs from yours but try losing your grandfather at 11 years old to lung cancer, having a close member be diagnosed with breast cancer, watching your dog and best friend of 15 years die right in front of you, carry your other grandfather's casket to the grave site after losing him in his sleep, I can go on. I may have gone through my trials differently than you will but I do know what it's like. I really wish you the best blessings in your father's situation, I didn't mean to offend you with what I wrote
Lonely... Wish I could sometimes say what's on my mind and really bothering me without the fear of judgement. Not here, not in real life, not in my own head. It's so hard to feel at ease. There are times I just want to give in and give up because of all of this.
Well, i'm not saying this to flatter you, but judging from your vampire pic you recently posted (which i saved offline cause i like it
Perhaps you have a spot of BDD? I've always struggled with my looks.
I think the key is finding the "look" that suits oneself.
I appreciate the advice, thank you. I'm sorry, but the fact that you saved my picture is a bit creepy... Definitely enough to prevent me from posting my picture here ever again.
theslowesthand
Banned
Not as creepy as the picture itself! (vampiress)
But seriously, don't feel creeped out by that please. I can delete it. I save MANY pics, of women, of socialphobiaworld, & not, so it'll only get lost amidst them all & i might never look at it again. But i have ocd, & that insists that i save pictures.
Not as creepy as the picture itself! (vampiress)
But seriously, don't feel creeped out by that please. I can delete it. I save MANY pics, of women, of socialphobiaworld, & not, so it'll only get lost amidst them all & i might never look at it again. But i have ocd, & that insists that i save pictures.
Oh... I didn't know it was an OCD thing, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel bad/embarrassed.