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Old 04-17-2017
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MollyBeGood View Post
^If I had a bbq I would invite you
Thank you, Molly. That's one invitation I would happily accept.
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Old 04-17-2017
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Old man calls me on the phone. Yelling because he doesn't know where he is and is asking me for directions. I told him that I will find out and call him back....he goes crazy and starts yelling at me. "KNOWING YOU THAT'S GOING TO TAKE FOREVER". Fast forward to me asking the person he was supposed to meet where the location was and he tells me. Then, I call him and tell him where it is and I told him I called the guy and he told me where you can meet him......he reacts by yelling at me. I mean he was yelling as loud as he possibly could at me over the phone. He practically called me every name in the book. He said things like I had embarrassed him by asking this guy where the location was. I mean I got sh*t on by him the likes that I had never ever received before. I truly despise him. I wish I could come up with some ploy to get my Mom to divorce him. People who know him always say "he's got a good heart"...and that may be true...but it is not present around me and I would love the chance to be done with him forever. He created nothing for this family. His accomplishments in life involve ruining the lives of a wonderful woman, my Mom, and me.



Update: The old man is calling me and acting as if everything is fine and great. He is cracking jokes and trying to be buddy buddy again. Sorry old timer because it doesn't work that way. You don't treat people like that and expect them to just forget it and move forward. For the sake of my mother, as always, I will pretend like it never happened because I know how these situations affect her. The old man is delusional if he thinks the calm manner he was talking to me with just now all of the sudden eliminates the rage he threw my way a few hours prior.
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Old 04-17-2017
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I remember a time of chaos... ruined dreams... this wasted land.
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Old 04-17-2017
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Hie ye hence from me heath!
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Originally Posted by defiance View Post
Update: The old man is calling me and acting as if everything is fine and great. He is cracking jokes and trying to be buddy buddy again. Sorry old timer because it doesn't work that way. You don't treat people like that and expect them to just forget it and move forward. For the sake of my mother, as always, I will pretend like it never happened because I know how these situations affect her. The old man is delusional if he thinks the calm manner he was talking to me with just now all of the sudden eliminates the rage he threw my way a few hours prior.
Ah! Very similar to my mother, who will yell at and berate me for trying to be helpful because that old third wave feminist mantra of not needing a man, then calmly ask me to help her, as if I'm just to dismiss the aggressive lecture I'd just been on the receiving end of.

So, I also hate when people treat ye like crap, then try to make it seem like they did nothing wrong.
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Old 04-19-2017
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I am a disgusting imitation of a human being and a sad, neglectful excuse for a friend. I should be shunned, cast out, spat upon. I deserve no love and no comfortable place in this world.
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Old 04-19-2017
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rofl


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Old 04-19-2017
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GraybeardGhost View Post
I am a disgusting imitation of a human being and a sad, neglectful excuse for a friend. I should be shunned, cast out, spat upon. I deserve no love and no comfortable place in this world.
You got it buddy! I hear ya.
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Old 04-19-2017
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Pissed off would be putting it mildly. Nearly called my sister an offensive word yesterday, because she apologised to me 3 weeks after implying I'm stupid. As if I'm just supposed be like all is forgive.

Yet, try to an apology outta her and she starts crying. And claims she's being picked on.
But that's the rad-fem mentality o' my family: Only men can do wrong.


Quote:
Originally Posted by GraybeardGhost View Post
I am a disgusting imitation of a human being and a sad, neglectful excuse for a friend. I should be shunned, cast out, spat upon. I deserve no love and no comfortable place in this world.
Aye, same here.
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Old 04-20-2017
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I fking hate people. They are just pieces of sh!t.
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Old 04-20-2017
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Hie ye hence from me heath!
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Quote:
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I fking hate people. They are just pieces of sh!t.
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Old 04-20-2017
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Today I feel that it would be great if a bullet found its way into my brain. I feel sadness all to often. A life that is not your own is not worth living.
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Old 04-20-2017
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Quote:
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I fking hate people. They are just pieces of sh!t.
I don't just hear those words I feel them. How I wish I could get away from it all.
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Old 04-21-2017
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Depressed. How else would I feel?
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Old 04-21-2017
 

feelings.

Who needs them?
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Old 04-21-2017
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Hie ye hence from me heath!
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Numb is probably the way to sum up my mood, lately. Must be nice to be treated like you matter. Me, I'm made to feel that I'm wrong no matter what I say or do. So, by way of learnt behaviour, I'm become a hermit. For better or worse...

Don't really know how I feel. Anger and frustration seem to quite frequent. Mainly because I'm tired of trying to fufil a role which I'm not capable of doing. Tired of having to put in more effort just to function on a daily basis to the point physical and mental burnout, only to be accused of being lazy.

Tired of having the burden of responsibility always on my shoulders. Tired of being told I only care about myself, and that I'm self. A claim I have difficulty finding any truth in, given how miserable I am. And how much time I spend doing things that will make those around me happy.
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Old 04-21-2017
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Dreams of frosting...
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Impatient. Want some lettuce.
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Old 04-21-2017
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I feel as if my inner self forgot that overtime it was supposed to mature but it never did. A child cannot survive alone in a complicated world. Yet that is what I am forced to do because I feel I am still a child in an adult body.
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Old 04-22-2017
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Feeling okay. Listening to stoner/psychedelic metal music, and drinking beer. It's the closest i can get to being high, without drugs, as i don't do them. Might investigate some of the old-school psychedelic albums of Cream in a bit.
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Old 04-22-2017
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So I headed into another week of work. Fearing I will be made redundant or someone will complain that me and my anxiety is not acceptable. Completely lost in fear and despair.

The test for this week.

1) Will I be made redundant?
2) Will someone complain about me?
3) If these things do happen can I go on and survive?

Perhaps I will report back next Sunday to see if my fears are realised.
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Old 04-23-2017
 

yeah new season of Fargo has started
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