How are you feeling?

Absolutely_Sweet_Marie said:

*hugs* Mikey.
I worry that you are defeating yourself before you even get started. Of course you will meet new people and they will be interested in talking to you, and you are not boring. If you keep letting yourself think about yourself this way, you will never feel any better.
In the chatbox, as in real life, it's not enough just to show up and watch other people have fun. You have to jump in there and engage. Bring up topics, start a debate, or just say something random and see where it takes the conversation. If it doesn't work the first time, you have to try again and again.
Don't discount all the victories you have made. You showed up to the events in the first place, which is more than I ever would have done. You said you chatted with someone and got her number. That's amazing! During my first year at college I didn't even talk to my own roommate. Ever. You are open to the likelihood of meeting new people and that is great. But you can't sit back and wait for them to come to you.
Best of luck, and chin up. I'm 100% certain that things will get better for you as the year goes along.

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MikeyC said:

I find it hard to "jump in there and engage" when there's already groups of three or four or five all drinking and talking to each other, and I'm a solitary person trying to fit in. I also have tried engaging in the chatbox to mixed results. Just recently I tried chatting to one person in there and got no response, only to see a full conversation happen not long after I left. So that was a little deflating.

However, I know you're right. I do need to take some initiative. Maybe once the lectures begin I can talk to someone, but I again worry that everyone has already made friends and I'll be the odd one out.

God, I think I just need some more sleep.

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planemo said:

My issues have been piling up and up over the last few weeks, and all it took was a confrontation with a family member to finally snap. And i snapped big time. Passive-aggressive is what they call it, i think.

i'm just so tired of everything being so hard. things that everyone else take for granted i struggle with immensely.

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Yggdrarox said:

Pretty proud of myself! Yesterday I went to my younger sisters history presentation. There were a lot of people around, and I felt trapped and kept anxiously looking at the clock for the hour I was there, but I hung in there! On top of that, I met both my sisters teacher and principal. Needless to say, I was one of the first people out the door!

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Absolutely_Sweet_Marie said:

I'm feeling crushed in the absolute way you can only feel when someone inadvertently says something so completely true that they don't even know they are crushing you.

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nodejesque said:

I feel like crap, look like crap, and am too tired to care. On top of that... I'm getting the flu.

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MikeyC said:

So tonight was the final night of orientation week at the university and it's ended on a sour note.

I did chat to a person I met and we've now exchanged numbers. She's nice enough but she's had way more world experience than me and she's six years younger. I ponder as to why she's talking to me because I'm boring.

And that's the crux of my problem. Tonight was a live band thing where everyone could dance and drink. Groups have already been established now and yet there I was, aimlessly walking around, hoping for someone, anyone, to talk to me. I could then feel the usual loneliness symptoms of a heavy chest and a dropping mood, and knew there was no going back. I know study hasn't started but I just feel like I'm going to be alone, as usual. I hope someone in my class wants to talk to me because I'm sick of being alone. Socia.lising is very important to me, even if I do get anxious a little bit, and tonight highlighted that problem.

Sometimes I feel I deserve not to talk to anyone. I feel repulsive. It has even happened in the chatbox here, which is why I'll seldom go there. I wish I didn't have these extreme feelings. All I want is to make a few friends. I hope it's not going to be that difficult.

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Nanita said:

I had a similar experience when I started uni. I talked to maybe one person I liked and she dropped out after just 2 weeks and from then on I was alone, completely. You seem more outgoing than me though. I really think it will work out for you.
I almost never go to the chatbox here, since it feels as nervewrecking as entering a real room full of real people.

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Absolutely_Sweet_Marie said:

I'm feeling crushed in the absolute way you can only feel when someone inadvertently says something so completely true that they don't even know they are crushing you.

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BlueDays said:

I am feeling so angry. I need to train my brain to ignore things I can not change.:thinking:

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Kiwong said:

I think you need some time MikeyC. Maybe there will be a chance later on, once you are studying and get to know some of your class mates. That's how I made friends at uni, with people on the dorm I stayed in, and with those that were the doing the same classes as me. Bar nights were never good for socializing, everbody was pissed, and looking to go wild away from their parents. The uni probably has a union, with lots of clubs and interest groups you can get involved in.

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Graeme1988 said:

Sorry to hear that, planemo. I did this recently, as well. I hope this isn't too personal a question, but do you have/or do you think you have Asperger's Syndrome? Just asking... If not, sorry if I'm jumping to conclusions. Or are your issues related to something else entirely different?

Either way, I can definitely relate, sadly. :sad:

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