How are you feeling?

LadyWench

LadyWench

Well-known member
Not too well. I'm prone to nosebleeds and have had a few in the past that sent me to the ER because they wouldn't stop and I simply could NOT stop panicking, which made it worse. A vicious cycle. Well, I woke up early yesterday morning with an unexpected nosebleed that terrified me to my core. My husband woke up with me and was trying to calm me down and was being nice and helpful. Well, I went to change the original tissue I was using for a new one, and once I pulled it out from my nose (I was standing over the toilet), blood just started coming out and even splattered on the toilet seat. I immediately freaked out and things just got worse from there. I asked my husband to call the emergency number, but he just got mad and said "let's see if we can get it to stop first!". I know he can be more objective in situations like this, but I was absolutely petrified. I don't mind seeing other people's blood, but my own scares me. I am a major hypochondriac with severe panic disorder and OCD. So, naturally, I cannot look at my own health/body in a rational manner. I grabbed the phone and dialed the number. An ambulance was on its way. I was so scared. My husband was just angry at this point and even said "you can go f*ck yourself, I'm leaving". I couldn't be arsed to deal with his temper tantrum, so I went outside to wait for the ambulance to show up.

They got there and put me in the ambulance to check my vitals. As I suspected, my heart rate and BP were pretty high from my severe anxiety. They took me to the ER and from there, they took care of me. It was already stopping by the time we got to the hospital, of course. I felt like an idiot, but was still really scared and needed reassurance that I was going to be okay. I haven't had a nosebleed since, but I'm obsessively worrying that it will happen again. The doctor gave me some cotton, Vaseline and a nasal spray that's supposed to help constrict the vessels in the nasal cavity to hopefully prevent bleeding. He mentioned having my nose cauterized, but I was too scared and didn't know enough about the procedure to have it done right then and there. I'm an irritating patient, especially when I'm scared, as I ask LOADS of questions and want to know the details of everything. The ER was busy and I know they couldn't just take their sweet time with me. I figured I'd see if the clinic I go to could possibly cauterize it for me if I felt brave enough to get it done. I'm going to call them on Monday and find out.

Anyway, unnecessarily lengthy post, but I figured I'd vent and type it all out. If you read any of this, thanks. I'm just bitching to myself, really. I'm actually having a bit of anxiety at the moment, fearing the same thing will happen to me today. I'm making sure to use the nasal spray and am keeping my nose well-lubricated with the Vaseline.

Oh, I should also add that I actually have a good partner. We've been friends for years and got married in 2012. He has depression, bipolar disorder and has anger issues, all relating to a bad past. Once I was at the hospital, he called me nearly every ten minutes to see how I was doing and wanted to make sure I was okay. He felt badly for how he treated me and said it wasn't on purpose. He even wanted to cut himself for his behaviour because he felt badly, but I'm glad I was able to deter him from that (he's been a cutter off and on for YEARS). So, just in case anyone was worried about that portion of the post, everything is fine in that department. He just doesn't know how to react to my irrational outbursts and fears sometimes.
 
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Odo

Odo

Banned
Nanita said:
Oh I´m afraid it´s too late :idontknow: I already am a musician & artist :giggle: .
I didn´t "choose" that, it just became so with time, or it chose me. What I meant in my post was that I´m gonna accept being a loner whose main content in life is work and creating, and that I should stop expecting to also have a fulfilling social life.
Click to expand...

If you can actually support yourself with your music then well done! Or do you mean that you're going to do that instead of trying to have a social life, and then work on top of that?
 
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Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
A little tired and actually bored. I have a whole night to myself for the first time in forever and I can't even bring myself to sit in front of this computer all that much. It's like I forgot what I used to do with my nights when I had no life. This is weird. :idontknow:
 
B

BlueWeepingRose

Well-known member
Right now I feel relaxed and calm. Just wish these headaches would go away, I hate whenever I suffer from allergies or have trouble breathing. Stupid sinuses... :thumbdown:
 
Opaline

Opaline

1
I just have way too many things to think about right now, and my computer problem is really worrisome. I don't know how I'm going to get my Mac-formatted files onto a PC. And I can't decide if I should get a computer with Windows 8 or buy one with Windows 7 instead. It's a bad time in the market to be getting a new computer, but I don't have much of a choice, unless I want to keep running my crappy and crumbling old Macbook and pay $50 for the second adapter cord this year.

I feel like I'm going to explode with stress :crying:
 
Nanita

Nanita

Well-known member
Odo said:
If you can actually support yourself with your music then well done! Or do you mean that you're going to do that instead of trying to have a social life, and then work on top of that?
Click to expand...

Oh hey I have too many issues with health (physically, mentally, emotionally) to take the responsibility of supporting myself right now. I've supported myself before things got this far out though.. Sometimes had stupid jobs and doing art and playing in bands at the same time. Also worked as an actress and model. But that´s way back in time, so.. yeah.
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
In a perpetual state of panic I can't seem to alleviate.:kickingmyself:

First day of new study tomorrow morning. The thought of having to meet so many new people at the same time is freaking me out more then I imagined it would.:sad:
I feel sick.
 
Opaline

Opaline

1
BlueDays said:
In a perpetual state of panic I can't seem to alleviate.:kickingmyself:

First day of new study tomorrow morning. The thought of having to meet so many new people at the same time is freaking me out more then I imagined it would.:sad:
I feel sick.
Click to expand...

I'm feeling very similar, Blue. Too many things on my mind. And my class tomorrow is also nerve-wracking for me because of my freaking professor. So stupid. I'm thinking I should have just spared myself the weekly anxiety and taken a different class.

I wish I had something helpful to say. What kind of class are you taking? You won't really have to "meet" them though, will you? I mean at the most I would think you'd just have an icebreaker activity, like "go around the room and state your name and major" or something. I know that can be hard too, but at least it isn't like mingling at a party or chatting with coworkers.

Yeah, probably doesn't help a bit.

If you find something that soothes your anxiety a bit, let me know :/ I might need to try it myself...
 
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Nanita

Nanita

Well-known member
LadyWench said:
Not too well. I'm prone to nosebleeds and have had a few in the past that sent me to the ER because they wouldn't stop and I simply could NOT stop panicking, which made it worse. A vicious cycle. Well, I woke up early yesterday morning with an unexpected nosebleed that terrified me to my core. My husband woke up with me and was trying to calm me down and was being nice and helpful. Well, I went to change the original tissue I was using for a new one, and once I pulled it out from my nose (I was standing over the toilet), blood just started coming out and even splattered on the toilet seat. I immediately freaked out and things just got worse from there. I asked my husband to call the emergency number, but he just got mad and said "let's see if we can get it to stop first!". I know he can be more objective in situations like this, but I was absolutely petrified. I don't mind seeing other people's blood, but my own scares me. I am a major hypochondriac with severe panic disorder and OCD. So, naturally, I cannot look at my own health/body in a rational manner. I grabbed the phone and dialed the number. An ambulance was on its way. I was so scared. My husband was just angry at this point and even said "you can go f*ck yourself, I'm leaving". I couldn't be arsed to deal with his temper tantrum, so I went outside to wait for the ambulance to show up.

They got there and put me in the ambulance to check my vitals. As I suspected, my heart rate and BP were pretty high from my severe anxiety. They took me to the ER and from there, they took care of me. It was already stopping by the time we got to the hospital, of course. I felt like an idiot, but was still really scared and needed reassurance that I was going to be okay. I haven't had a nosebleed since, but I'm obsessively worrying that it will happen again. The doctor gave me some cotton, Vaseline and a nasal spray that's supposed to help constrict the vessels in the nasal cavity to hopefully prevent bleeding. He mentioned having my nose cauterized, but I was too scared and didn't know enough about the procedure to have it done right then and there. I'm an irritating patient, especially when I'm scared, as I ask LOADS of questions and want to know the details of everything. The ER was busy and I know they couldn't just take their sweet time with me. I figured I'd see if the clinic I go to could possibly cauterize it for me if I felt brave enough to get it done. I'm going to call them on Monday and find out.

Anyway, unnecessarily lengthy post, but I figured I'd vent and type it all out. If you read any of this, thanks. I'm just bitching to myself, really. I'm actually having a bit of anxiety at the moment, fearing the same thing will happen to me today. I'm making sure to use the nasal spray and am keeping my nose well-lubricated with the Vaseline.

Oh, I should also add that I actually have a good partner. We've been friends for years and got married in 2012. He has depression, bipolar disorder and has anger issues, all relating to a bad past. Once I was at the hospital, he called me nearly every ten minutes to see how I was doing and wanted to make sure I was okay. He felt badly for how he treated me and said it wasn't on purpose. He even wanted to cut himself for his behaviour because he felt badly, but I'm glad I was able to deter him from that (he's been a cutter off and on for YEARS). So, just in case anyone was worried about that portion of the post, everything is fine in that department. He just doesn't know how to react to my irrational outbursts and fears sometimes.
Click to expand...

omg scary nosebleeds :( I dont know what to say other than take care of yourself and yeah...
I´m glad u have a good partner!
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
Opaline said:
I'm feeling very similar, Blue. Too many things on my mind. And my class tomorrow is also nerve-wracking for me because of my freaking professor. So stupid. I'm thinking I should have just spared myself the weekly anxiety and taken a different class.

I wish I had something helpful to say. What kind of class are you taking? You won't really have to "meet" them though, will you? I mean at the most I would think you'd just have an icebreaker activity, like "go around the room and state your name and major" or something. I know that can be hard too, but at least it isn't like mingling at a party or chatting with coworkers.

Yeah, probably doesn't help a bit.

If you find something that soothes your anxiety a bit, let me know :/ I might need to try it myself...
Click to expand...

Kiwong said:
Fingers crossed for you Bluedays. Hope it goes well tomorrow, and that it is not bad as you expect.
Click to expand...
^ Thanks Opal and Kiwong.
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
BlueDays said:
In a perpetual state of panic I can't seem to alleviate.:kickingmyself:

First day of new study tomorrow morning. The thought of having to meet so many new people at the same time is freaking me out more then I imagined it would.:sad:
I feel sick.
Click to expand...
^ First days are always so nerve-wracking, but usually they're never as bad as we think they'll be. Best of luck to you, Blue. Hope you have a good first day tomorrow! :thumbup:
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
BlueDays said:
In a perpetual state of panic I can't seem to alleviate.:kickingmyself:

First day of new study tomorrow morning. The thought of having to meet so many new people at the same time is freaking me out more then I imagined it would.:sad:
I feel sick.
Click to expand...
Is that for orientation? I can imagine that would be very hard to take! Mostly everyone is in the same boat as you, though, so you're certainly not alone. Let me know how it goes!
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
I've cranked up the ambi pur linen and sky, pushed the vacuum cleaner into the long undiscovered territory of my bedroom. I was anticipating a standing ovation from my **** retentive neighbours, but all is silent in dodge apartments.
 
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