Not good. It's been a bad day. It started with my computer having some (minor) error that made me uneasy, because I am obsessive to the extreme with this thing...
Then, there's been all kind of noise in he house, from people coming and going, talking, etc. to phone and door bell ringing non stop. The dog barked almost all day to each sound he heard, there was traffic outside, neighbours were fighting, and a lot of other things that I don't remember right now. It was really hard to focus on anything with all that background noise.
Then I had psychologist session. I've been seeing this new psychologist for a few weeks, but this is going to be the last session. This time, she pretty much blamed me for all the rejections I've gone through. She kept implying there's something wrong with me that causes people to isolate me, therefore we should work on my attitude. I am sick of all these "professionals" to tell me I'm at fault for everything. I know I'm not at fault, but sometimes I start wondering if maybe they're right. Especially when I'm depressed, I get all negative and I start wondering if I am this parasite everyone says I am.
When I left the place, I had a terible urge to jump in front of the traffic. I had the same urge when I arrived home.
